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      <title>Tips For Making a Celebration of Life Event More Personal</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/tips-for-making-a-celebration-of-life-event-more-personal</link>
      <description>Learn thoughtful ways to personalize a celebration of life event and create a meaningful tribute for loved ones in Rio Bravo, TX with heartfelt planning ideas.</description>
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           Learn thoughtful ways to personalize a celebration of life event and create a meaningful tribute for loved ones in Rio Bravo, TX with heartfelt planning ideas. 
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            Families often want a meaningful way to celebrate the individuality of a loved one. When working with a
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           funeral home Rio Bravo, TX
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           , one thoughtful approach is focusing on the person’s life story. Instead of centering the event only on loss, a celebration of life highlights memories, accomplishments, and moments that defined the individual. Sharing stories through spoken tributes, written reflections, or visual displays allows guests to connect with the legacy of the person being honored. This approach helps create an uplifting and respectful gathering where attendees can remember meaningful experiences and reflect on the impact that person had on others. 
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           Choosing a Meaningful Theme 
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            A carefully chosen theme can add depth and personality to a
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           celebration of life
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            event. Themes often reflect a passion, hobby, or interest that was important to the individual. For example, someone who loves music could have a gathering that incorporates favorite songs throughout the program. Another person who enjoys travel might inspire displays of memorable destinations or maps that represent journeys taken throughout life. A theme provides a cohesive structure for the event while giving family and friends creative ways to honor cherished memories. 
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           Incorporating Personal Displays and Visual Memories 
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           Visual elements can help tell a powerful story. Creating a display of photographs, personal items, or meaningful keepsakes can allow guests to reflect quietly and remember special moments. Some families choose to present a timeline of important milestones, beginning with early life and continuing through memorable achievements and experiences. Video tributes are another option that can highlight treasured memories with images, recorded messages, and meaningful music. These elements bring memories to life and help guests connect emotionally with the tribute. 
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           Encouraging Guests to Share Memories 
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           Inviting guests to participate can make the event more personal and meaningful. Providing opportunities for attendees to share stories or written messages helps build a sense of community and remembrance. Some gatherings include a memory table where guests can write reflections or brief notes about their experiences with the individual. Others incorporate a short segment in the program where friends or relatives speak about special memories. These moments allow different perspectives to come together and form a heartfelt tribute that reflects the person’s influence on many lives. 
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           Personalized Music and Readings 
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           Music and readings often carry deep emotional meaning. Selecting songs that hold special significance to the person being honored can create a powerful atmosphere. Music from favorite artists, cultural traditions, or meaningful moments in life can make the event feel deeply personal. In addition, readings such as poems, letters, or passages that reflect values and beliefs can provide comfort and inspiration to attendees. When thoughtfully chosen, these elements help set the tone and guide guests through moments of reflection and appreciation. 
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           Creative Ways to Personalize the Gathering 
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           Small details can add a unique touch to a celebration of life event. Many families incorporate thoughtful elements that represent the personality and interests of their loved one. Some meaningful ideas include: 
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            Displaying a memory board where guests can add messages or photographs 
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            Sharing a slideshow featuring important moments and milestones 
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            Providing keepsake cards with favorite quotes or meaningful sayings 
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            Creating a guest book for attendees to write personal reflections 
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            Playing a playlist of songs that held special meaning 
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            These details may seem simple, but together they help create an atmosphere that reflects the life being remembered and allows guests to
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           feel connected to the tribute
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           . 
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           Reflecting Cultural and Family Traditions 
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           Cultural heritage and family traditions often play an important role in shaping a meaningful tribute. Some families incorporate traditional music, readings, or symbolic gestures that reflect shared values and history. Others may include moments of quiet reflection, storytelling, or special rituals that have been passed down through generations. By incorporating these traditions, families can honor both personal identity and cultural heritage while creating a sense of unity among attendees. 
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           Creating a Comfortable and Welcoming Atmosphere 
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           A welcoming environment encourages guests to reflect, connect, and share memories. Thoughtful seating arrangements, gentle background music, and well-organized displays can help create a calm and respectful setting. Lighting, décor, and the overall layout of the gathering space can also influence how guests experience the event. When the environment feels warm and inviting, attendees often feel more comfortable sharing memories and supporting one another. 
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           Moving Forward with Meaningful Remembrance 
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            Planning a personalized celebration of life is an opportunity to reflect on cherished memories while honoring the unique story of a loved one. Families seeking guidance from a funeral home Rio Bravo, TX can benefit from compassionate support and thoughtful planning resources that help create a meaningful tribute. If you would like to learn more about how to create a personalized and memorable event, reach out to Hillside Funerals &amp;amp; Cremations.
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           Our caring team is here to help guide you
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            through thoughtful planning. Call
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           (956) 724-6060
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            today and ask our team how we can assist you. 
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      <pubDate>Mon, 20 Apr 2026 14:37:23 GMT</pubDate>
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      <title>How To Plan a Small and Meaningful Family Memorial Gathering</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-to-plan-a-small-and-meaningful-family-memorial-gathering</link>
      <description>Discover meaningful ways to plan a small family memorial gathering that honors cherished memories and encourages reflection among loved ones in Laredo, TX.</description>
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           Discover meaningful ways to plan a small family memorial gathering that honors cherished memories and encourages reflection among loved ones in Laredo, TX.
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            A small family memorial gathering allows loved ones to come together in a quiet and personal setting to reflect on meaningful memories. Many families who seek guidance from
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           funeral homes in Laredo, TX
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            discover that intimate gatherings can create a comforting environment where everyone feels encouraged to share stories and emotions. Instead of focusing on large formal events, these smaller gatherings emphasize connection, reflection, and appreciation for the life that touched so many people. When planned thoughtfully, an intimate memorial gathering can provide a peaceful space for families to honor their loved one and support each other. 
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           Choosing a Comfortable and Meaningful Location 
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           Selecting the right setting plays a significant role in creating a meaningful atmosphere. Families often choose locations that feel familiar or peaceful, allowing guests to relax and reflect comfortably. A family home, a quiet community space, or a location connected to the loved one’s interests can provide a welcoming environment. The goal is to create a setting where guests feel at ease sharing memories and offering support to one another. A carefully chosen location can help shape the tone of the gathering and encourage meaningful conversations. 
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           Creating a Personalized Gathering Experience 
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            Personalization helps transform a
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           memorial gathering
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            into a meaningful tribute that reflects the personality and life experiences of the individual being remembered. Families may include readings, music selections, or visual displays that highlight important moments. Personal touches remind guests of the unique qualities that defined the person’s life. By focusing on meaningful details and shared memories, families can create a gathering that feels authentic and heartfelt. 
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           Sharing Stories and Personal Reflections 
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           Storytelling is often one of the most meaningful parts of a small memorial gathering. Family members and close friends may take turns sharing memories that reflect the character, humor, and kindness of the individual being honored. These stories allow everyone present to appreciate different aspects of the person’s life. Listening to reflections from others can bring comfort and create a sense of unity among those gathered. Story sharing helps keep memories alive while celebrating the relationships that meant so much. 
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           Incorporating Music and Meaningful Readings 
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           Music and readings
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            can help create a reflective atmosphere during the gathering. Families often choose songs or passages that reflect the beliefs, values, or interests of their loved one. Music can provide moments of quiet reflection, while readings may inspire comfort and gratitude. These elements help guide the flow of the gathering and allow guests to pause and appreciate meaningful memories together. 
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           Encouraging Participation from Family Members 
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           A small memorial gathering often becomes more meaningful when family members are invited to participate in different ways. Participation allows each person to contribute to honoring the individual’s life. Some families invite guests to share stories, read messages, or reflect on special memories. This involvement helps strengthen emotional connections and allows everyone to feel included in the remembrance. 
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           Simple Ideas to Make the Gathering Meaningful 
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           Families often look for thoughtful ways to make a small gathering feel personal and memorable. Some meaningful ideas include: 
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            Sharing favorite stories about the loved one 
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            Playing music that reflects important life moments 
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            Creating a photo display that highlights cherished memories 
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            Encouraging guests to write messages of remembrance
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            Taking a quiet moment together for reflection 
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           These thoughtful touches can help create a warm and supportive environment where memories are honored with care. 
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           Strengthening Family Connections Through Remembrance 
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           Small memorial gatherings often bring families closer together during a difficult time. Sharing memories, emotions, and reflections allows loved ones to support each other while remembering the positive influence of the person they lost. These gatherings encourage open conversations and shared appreciation for the life that was lived. Over time, these moments of remembrance can become an important part of preserving family history and strengthening relationships. 
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           Finding Support When Planning a Memorial Gathering 
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            Planning a meaningful family gathering during an emotional time can feel overwhelming, but compassionate guidance can make the process easier. Families who connect with funeral homes in Laredo, TX often discover helpful resources and support while planning a thoughtful tribute. If you would like assistance in creating a meaningful remembrance gathering, we invite you to learn more about the caring services offered by Hillside Funerals &amp;amp; Cremations.
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           Our team is dedicated to helping families
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            honor cherished memories with care and respect. To know more about our service, please call
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           (956) 724-6060
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           . 
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      <pubDate>Mon, 13 Apr 2026 14:16:59 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-to-plan-a-small-and-meaningful-family-memorial-gathering</guid>
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      <title>How Music Brings Comfort to Families Experiencing Grief</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-music-brings-comfort-to-families-experiencing-grief</link>
      <description>Learn how music brings comfort, reflection, and emotional support to families experiencing grief while honoring cherished memories together in El Cenizo, TX.</description>
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           Learn how music brings comfort, reflection, and emotional support to families experiencing grief while honoring cherished memories together in El Cenizo, TX. 
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            Music has long been recognized as a powerful emotional companion during times of grief. When families gather to remember a loved one, music often creates an atmosphere that encourages reflection and connection. Many families working with a
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           funeral home El Cenizo, TX
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            find that meaningful songs provide comfort during moments when words are difficult to express. A familiar melody can bring back memories of shared experiences and cherished moments. In this way, music becomes a bridge between the past and present, helping families reflect on the life that touched so many hearts. 
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           Music as a Language of Emotion 
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           Grief often brings a range of emotions
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            that are not always easy to communicate. Music offers a unique way to express feelings such as love, gratitude, and remembrance. Listening to meaningful songs allows individuals to process their emotions in a gentle and personal way. Certain melodies or lyrics may reflect the personality, beliefs, or passions of the individual being remembered. Through music, families can experience a sense of emotional release and comfort as they honor the life and influence of their loved one. 
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           Creating a Reflective Atmosphere Through Music 
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           Music plays an important role in setting the tone for remembrance gatherings. Soft instrumental pieces or meaningful vocal selections can create a calm environment where guests feel comfortable reflecting on memories. The presence of music helps guide the emotional flow of the gathering, encouraging moments of quiet reflection as well as shared connection. When thoughtfully selected, music can transform a gathering into a meaningful tribute that celebrates the life and experiences of the person being honored. 
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           Strengthening Memories Through Familiar Songs 
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           Many families associate certain songs with special moments such as celebrations, travel, or family traditions. Hearing these songs again during a remembrance gathering can bring back vivid memories of those experiences. Music often helps guests recall details of shared moments that might otherwise fade with time. These musical connections remind families of the joy, laughter, and companionship that defined their relationships with their loved one. 
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           Personalizing Music for a Meaningful Tribute 
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           Personalized music selections
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            help create a tribute that reflects the individuality of the person being remembered. Families often choose songs that highlight important milestones or represent the interests of their loved one. Whether the individual enjoyed classical music, cultural melodies, or modern favorites, including those selections, helps tell their story. Personalizing the musical experience ensures that the gathering reflects the unique journey and character of the life being honored. 
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           Shared Musical Moments That Encourage Healing 
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           Music has the ability to bring people together during emotional times. When guests listen to meaningful songs together, they often experience a sense of unity and support. These shared musical moments encourage guests to reflect collectively and remember the positive impact the individual had on their lives. Music helps create a supportive atmosphere where families and friends can comfort one another and express appreciation for the memories they shared. 
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           Ways Families Incorporate Music Into Remembrance Gatherings 
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           Families often include music in several thoughtful ways during remembrance gatherings. These approaches help create a meaningful environment where memories and emotions are honored together. 
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            Playing favorite songs that reflect the individual’s personality 
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            Including instrumental music during quiet moments of reflection 
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            Creating a playlist of meaningful songs connected to life milestones 
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            Inviting guests to share songs that remind them of special memories 
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            Using music to begin or conclude the remembrance gathering 
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           These elements help shape a gathering that encourages reflection, connection, and appreciation for the life being remembered. 
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           Music as an Ongoing Source of Comfort 
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           The comfort music provides often continues long after a remembrance gathering has ended. Families may revisit meaningful songs during personal moments of reflection or family gatherings. Over time, these melodies become reminders of love, connection, and shared experiences. Music allows families to keep memories present in their daily lives while celebrating the influence their loved one had on those around them. 
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           Finding Support When Planning a Meaningful Tribute 
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            Music can play a meaningful role in helping families navigate grief and remembrance. Families who connect with a funeral home El Cenizo, TX often discover thoughtful ways to incorporate music into gatherings that celebrate life and shared memories. If you would like guidance in planning a tribute that reflects the story of your loved one, we invite you to learn more about the compassionate support offered by Hillside Funerals &amp;amp; Cremations.
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    &lt;a href="https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/contact-us" target="_blank"&gt;&#xD;
      
           Our caring team
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            is here to help families create meaningful remembrance experiences. To know more about our service, please call
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    &lt;a href="tel:(956) 724-6060" target="_blank"&gt;&#xD;
      
           (956) 724-6060
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           . 
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      <pubDate>Mon, 06 Apr 2026 13:53:54 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-music-brings-comfort-to-families-experiencing-grief</guid>
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      <title>How to Include Funeral Readings in the Service Program Flow</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-to-include-funeral-readings-in-the-service-program-flow</link>
      <description>Understand how to include funeral readings in a service program with balanced timing, personal selections, and a respectful structure that supports healing.</description>
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           Understand how to include funeral readings in a service program with balanced timing, personal selections, and a respectful structure that supports healing.
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            Funeral readings provide comfort, reflection, and meaning during a farewell gathering. A
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           funeral home Rio Bravo, TX
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            often helps families understand how readings can support the overall tone of the service. Whether spiritual, literary, or personal, readings offer words that express emotions when families may struggle to do so themselves. Including them in the program flow creates moments of connection and remembrance. 
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           Choosing Readings That Reflect the Loved One 
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           The first step is selecting readings that feel appropriate and personal. Funeral professionals encourage families to consider passages that reflect the individual’s values, beliefs, or life story. Some families choose traditional scripture, while others prefer poems or meaningful quotes. The goal is to select words that resonate with both the family and the guests, creating a tribute that feels sincere. 
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           Placing Readings at the Right Moment 
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            Timing is essential for maintaining a smooth service flow. Readings are often included after opening remarks, before reflections, or during quieter moments of the program.
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           Funeral home
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            staff can guide families in placing readings where they naturally support the emotional rhythm of the gathering. Proper placement ensures the service feels organized and respectful. 
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           Selecting the Right Readers 
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           Families may choose a close friend, relative, or officiant to deliver readings. Funeral professionals often recommend selecting someone who feels comfortable speaking in front of others. If emotions may be overwhelming, staff can help identify alternative readers or provide support. Choosing the right person ensures the reading is delivered with clarity and care. 
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           Balancing Multiple Readings 
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            Some families wish to include more than one reading, especially when honoring
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           different aspects of a loved one’s life
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           . Funeral directors help families balance these selections so the service remains cohesive. Including too many readings can feel overwhelming, while a few well-chosen passages create meaningful pauses for reflection. Balance helps maintain a respectful pace. 
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           Coordinating Readings With Music and Tributes 
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           Readings often work best when coordinated with other elements such as music or personal reflections. Funeral home staff assist in arranging transitions so the program flows smoothly. A reading may be followed by a quiet musical selection or a moment of remembrance. These thoughtful transitions help guests stay engaged and emotionally supported. 
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           Including Readings in Printed Programs 
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           Many families choose to list readings in the printed service program. This helps guests follow along and remember the words shared. Funeral professionals can assist with formatting and ensuring the program reflects the correct order of events. Including readings in print also allows families to keep them as a lasting tribute. 
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           Creating Space for Reflection 
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           Readings are most meaningful when families allow time for guests to absorb them. Funeral directors often recommend short pauses after each reading to let the words settle. These moments of quiet can provide comfort and encourage reflection. Creating space within the flow supports a gentle and respectful atmosphere. 
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           Guidance for a Meaningful Service Flow 
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            Working with a funeral home Rio Bravo, TX helps families include readings in a way that feels organized, personal, and comforting. With thoughtful timing, appropriate selections, and supportive guidance, readings can become one of the most meaningful parts of the farewell. Ask readers to
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           know more about our service
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            at Hillside Funerals &amp;amp; Cremations and discover how compassionate planning can help create a respectful program flow. 
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      <pubDate>Mon, 23 Mar 2026 18:09:40 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-to-include-funeral-readings-in-the-service-program-flow</guid>
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      <title>What Families Should Know Before Planning a Funeral Service</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-families-should-know-before-planning-a-funeral-service</link>
      <description>Understand what families should know before planning a funeral service and how thoughtful preparation can help create a meaningful tribute in El Cenizo, TX.</description>
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           Understand what families should know before planning a funeral service and how thoughtful preparation can help create a meaningful tribute in El Cenizo, TX. 
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            When families begin planning a tribute for a loved one, understanding the purpose of a funeral service can provide clarity during an emotional time. A funeral service offers a structured way for relatives and friends to gather, share memories, and honor a life that touched many others. Working with a
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           funeral home El Cenizo, TX
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            can help families navigate the planning process with guidance and compassion. These gatherings often include personal tributes, meaningful readings, and moments of reflection that bring people together to remember and celebrate the individual’s life story. 
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           Learning the Basic Planning Process 
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           Before beginning arrangements, families benefit from understanding the typical steps involved in planning a funeral service. The process often starts with selecting a suitable date and location for the gathering, followed by organizing the order of events. Families may also decide who will speak, what music will be included, and how memories will be shared. Knowing the basic planning process helps reduce uncertainty and allows family members to focus on honoring their loved one rather than worrying about logistics. 
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           Choosing Meaningful Personal Elements 
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            One of the most important
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           aspects of planning a funeral service
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            is incorporating personal elements that reflect the life and personality of the individual. Families often choose music that holds special meaning, readings that reflect personal values, or visual displays that highlight important moments in life. Photographs, video presentations, and storytelling can all contribute to a heartfelt tribute. These personalized touches help guests connect emotionally and create a memorable experience that honors the individual’s unique journey. 
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           Communicating with Family Members and Friends 
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           Open communication is essential when planning a funeral service. Family members may have different perspectives about how the event should be organized, so discussing ideas early can help create a shared vision. Involving close relatives in decision making can also ease the planning process and ensure everyone feels included. Clear communication allows families to coordinate responsibilities and support one another throughout the preparation process. 
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           Organizing the Structure of the Service 
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           A well-organized structure helps guide guests through the event and creates a respectful atmosphere. The program may include welcoming remarks, readings, musical selections, personal tributes, and a moment of quiet reflection. Planning the sequence of these elements in advance helps ensure the service flows smoothly. Some families choose a formal structure, while others prefer a more relaxed gathering that allows guests to share memories freely. 
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           Important Details Families Should Consider 
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           Planning a funeral service
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            involves several thoughtful considerations that help ensure the gathering is meaningful and organized. Families may wish to review important details such as: 
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            Selecting music that reflects the person’s personality 
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            Choosing readings or messages that provide comfort 
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            Preparing a slideshow or photo display of meaningful moments 
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            Inviting speakers who knew the individual well 
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            Creating a guest book for written messages and memories 
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           These details may seem small individually, but together they help shape a respectful and heartfelt tribute. 
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           Creating a Supportive Environment for Guests 
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           Funeral services also provide an opportunity for guests to support one another. Creating a welcoming environment encourages people to reflect, share memories, and connect with others who cared about the individual. Comfortable seating, thoughtful lighting, and carefully chosen music can all contribute to a calm atmosphere. When guests feel supported, the gathering becomes a space where healing conversations and shared memories can take place. 
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           Recognizing the Value of Professional Guidance 
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           Many families find comfort in working with experienced professionals who can guide them through each step of planning. Funeral directors often provide helpful suggestions, assist with scheduling, and ensure that every element of the service is thoughtfully organized. Their experience can help families focus on honoring their loved one while important details are handled with care and attention. 
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           Moving Forward with Thoughtful Planning 
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            Planning a tribute for a loved one can feel overwhelming, but having the right information and support can make the process more manageable. Families who work with a funeral home El Cenizo, TX can find compassionate guidance as they create a meaningful service that reflects the life and legacy of someone special. If you would like to learn more about how to plan a thoughtful funeral service, reach out to Hillside Funerals &amp;amp; Cremations.
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           Our caring team is ready to help
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            answer your questions and provide guidance during this important time. Call
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           (956) 724-6060
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            today to learn more about our services. 
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      <pubDate>Tue, 17 Mar 2026 14:53:40 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-families-should-know-before-planning-a-funeral-service</guid>
      <g-custom:tags type="string">funeral home El Cenizo TX</g-custom:tags>
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      <title>How Funeral Homes Help Families Choose Meaningful Music</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-funeral-homes-help-families-choose-meaningful-music</link>
      <description>Learn how funeral homes help families choose meaningful music with compassionate guidance, personal selections, and thoughtful planning for a lasting tribute.</description>
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           Learn how funeral homes help families choose meaningful music with compassionate guidance, personal selections, and thoughtful planning for a lasting tribute. 
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            Music plays a powerful role in honoring a loved one’s life and creating a comforting atmosphere.
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           Funeral homes in Laredo, TX
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            often help families understand how meaningful songs can reflect personality, values, and cherished memories. During times of grief, selecting music may feel overwhelming, so funeral professionals provide calm support and suggestions. Thoughtful music choices can bring people together, encourage reflection, and offer emotional comfort throughout the gathering. 
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           Guidance Through Personal Song Selections 
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           Families often want music that represents the unique story of their loved one. Funeral home staff help guide this process by asking about favorite genres, artists, or meaningful songs connected to special moments. Whether the family prefers traditional selections or more personal favorites, professionals ensure the choices feel appropriate and respectful. This guidance helps families feel confident that the music reflects genuine remembrance. 
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           Honoring Cultural and Spiritual Traditions 
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           Music is also deeply connected to cultural and spiritual practices. Funeral homes work closely with families to include songs or hymns that align with faith traditions or community customs. Staff members may coordinate with religious leaders or musicians to ensure the music supports the family’s beliefs. This sensitivity allows families to experience comfort through familiar and meaningful sounds. 
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           Creating the Right Tone and Atmosphere 
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           Different moments during a gathering call for different musical tones. Funeral professionals assist families in selecting music that matches each part of the event, such as welcoming guests, moments of reflection, or closing tributes. Calm and gentle music may provide peace, while uplifting selections can celebrate a life well lived. By helping families balance emotion and meaning, funeral homes support a thoughtful atmosphere. 
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           Supporting Live or Recorded Music Options 
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           Families may choose between live performances or recorded music depending on their preferences. Funeral home staff help coordinate these options smoothly, ensuring sound equipment and timing are handled properly. If a family member wishes to perform, professionals can assist with scheduling and preparation. These options allow music to feel personal and heartfelt, adding depth to the tribute. 
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           Helping Families Avoid Added Stress 
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           During grief
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            , even small decisions can feel heavy. Funeral homes ease this burden by offering music
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           planning support
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            as part of the overall arrangements. Staff may provide curated lists of commonly chosen songs or help families narrow down options. This reduces stress and allows families to focus on remembrance rather than logistics. 
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           Personalizing the Tribute Through Music 
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           Music often becomes one of the most memorable elements of a farewell. Funeral homes encourage families to choose selections that reflect hobbies, life milestones, or shared memories. A carefully chosen song can express emotions that words cannot. This personalization helps create a tribute that feels authentic and deeply meaningful for everyone attending. 
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           A Lasting Source of Comfort 
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           The music chosen for a farewell can continue to bring comfort long after the gathering ends. Families often associate certain songs with remembrance and healing. Funeral professionals understand this lasting impact and approach music planning with care and sensitivity. Their guidance ensures that each selection supports both reflection and connection. 
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           Support for Meaningful Planning 
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            Working with funeral homes in Laredo, TX gives families compassionate guidance in choosing music that honors a loved one’s life with dignity and meaning. From cultural traditions to personal favorites, funeral professionals help create a thoughtful tribute through sound and memory.
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           Know more about our service
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            at Hillside Funerals &amp;amp; Cremations and discover how meaningful planning can bring comfort through every detail. 
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      <pubDate>Mon, 16 Mar 2026 17:55:11 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-funeral-homes-help-families-choose-meaningful-music</guid>
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      <title>Why Do Families Find Comfort in Trusted Funeral Home Staff</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/why-do-families-find-comfort-in-trusted-funeral-home-staff</link>
      <description>Discover why families find comfort in trusted funeral home staff through compassionate guidance, steady support, and personalized care during times of loss.</description>
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           Discover why families find comfort in trusted funeral home staff through compassionate guidance, steady support, and personalized care during times of loss. 
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            When families contact a
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           funeral home El Cenizo, TX
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           , they are often experiencing one of the most emotional moments of their lives. The first interaction with funeral home staff can shape the entire experience. A calm tone, patient listening, and clear guidance immediately create a sense of reassurance. Trusted professionals understand that grief can make it difficult to think clearly, so they approach each conversation with empathy and steadiness. This compassionate introduction helps families feel supported rather than overwhelmed. 
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           Professional Experience and Knowledge 
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           Families often find comfort in knowing they are working with experienced professionals. Funeral home staff are trained to manage arrangements carefully and respectfully while guiding families through each step. Their knowledge helps prevent confusion and ensures that important details are handled correctly. When families sense confidence and competence, it reduces uncertainty and builds trust. Professional experience brings structure to a time that can otherwise feel chaotic. 
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           Clear and Gentle Communication 
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           Effective communication is one of the strongest sources of comfort. Trusted funeral home staff explain options clearly and answer questions without rushing families. They take time to listen, repeat information when needed, and provide thoughtful responses. This transparency helps families feel included in the process rather than pressured by it. Gentle communication also reassures loved ones that their concerns are heard and respected. 
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           Respect for Personal Wishes 
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           Families feel comforted when staff members honor their preferences and traditions. Funeral professionals understand that each family has unique values, beliefs, and cultural practices. By carefully noting and following these wishes, staff demonstrate respect and understanding. When a farewell reflects personal meaning, families gain confidence that their loved one is being honored appropriately. This attention to detail strengthens trust and emotional comfort. 
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           Creating a Peaceful Environment 
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           The physical environment of a funeral home also contributes to comfort. Quiet spaces, organized settings, and a welcoming atmosphere help families feel safe during a vulnerable time. Trusted staff maintain an environment that supports reflection and connection. A peaceful setting allows families to gather, share memories, and express emotions without distraction. The combination of calm surroundings and supportive professionals encourages healing. 
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           Emotional Support Beyond Arrangements 
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           Funeral home
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            staff provide more than logistical coordination. They often serve as steady emotional anchors during difficult conversations. A compassionate presence, a reassuring word, or a moment of silence can make a meaningful difference. Families appreciate when staff members recognize the weight of the moment and respond with sensitivity. This emotional awareness fosters a sense of partnership rather than a simple transaction. 
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           Consistency and Reliability 
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           Trust is built through consistency. Families feel comforted when funeral home staff follow through on commitments and keep them informed. Clear timelines, accurate documentation, and reliable communication reduce stress. When professionals handle responsibilities dependably, families are free to focus on supporting one another. Reliability creates a foundation of confidence that strengthens the overall experience. 
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           Ongoing Care and Follow-Up 
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            Comfort often continues after the service concludes. Trusted funeral home staff may check in with families,
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           provide grief resources
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           , or answer follow-up questions. This continued care shows that support does not end with the ceremony. Families value knowing that assistance remains available as they adjust to life after loss. Ongoing communication reinforces the sense of trust established from the beginning. 
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           A Trusted Presence During Difficult Times 
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            Choosing a funeral home El Cenizo, TX means partnering with professionals who combine experience, compassion, and steady guidance. Families find comfort in staff who listen carefully, communicate clearly, and honor personal wishes with respect. Ask readers to
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           know more about our service
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            at Hillside Funerals &amp;amp; Cremations and discover how trusted professionals can provide meaningful support when it matters most. 
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      <pubDate>Mon, 02 Mar 2026 17:24:25 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/why-do-families-find-comfort-in-trusted-funeral-home-staff</guid>
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      <title>Funeral Homes and Floral Tributes: Meaningful Selections</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/funeral-homes-and-floral-tributes-meaningful-selections</link>
      <description>See how funeral homes guide families in selecting meaningful floral tributes, coordinating delivery, honoring traditions, and creating a comforting atmosphere.</description>
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           See how funeral homes guide families in selecting meaningful floral tributes, coordinating delivery, honoring traditions, and creating a comforting atmosphere. 
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            Choosing meaningful floral tributes can bring warmth and comfort to a remembrance gathering, and
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           funeral homes in Laredo, TX
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            often help families make thoughtful selections during a difficult time. These tributes are a personal way to express love, support, and remembrance while creating a peaceful atmosphere for family and friends. With guidance from experienced professionals, families can choose arrangements that reflect the life being honored. 
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           Understanding The Purpose of Floral Tributes 
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           Floral tributes are often chosen to symbolize care, respect, and remembrance. They can help set a gentle tone and provide a visual expression of support from loved ones near and far. Funeral homes help families understand common tribute styles and how each option may fit the setting and the family’s preferences. 
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           Choosing Styles That Reflect Personality and Values 
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           Many families want selections that feel personal rather than generic. Funeral homes can help guide families toward arrangements that reflect favorite colors, meaningful themes, or personal traditions. This small but thoughtful detail can help guests feel connected to the person being honored. 
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           Coordinating Delivery and Timing with Care 
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           When arrangements are sent from multiple relatives and friends, timing and organization matter. Funeral homes help coordinate delivery details, so tributes arrive appropriately and are placed in a respectful way. This support reduces stress for families who may already be managing many responsibilities. 
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           Helping Families Select Appropriate Sizes and Placement 
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            It can be hard to know what size
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           arrangement is suitable for the space
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           . Funeral homes offer guidance on selecting tributes that fit well within the gathering area while maintaining comfort and visual balance. They can also suggest placement ideas that feel natural, welcoming, and considerate for guests. 
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           Supporting Cultural and Faith-Based Preferences 
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           Some families have specific traditions that influence tribute choices. Funeral homes are experienced in supporting a wide range of customs and can help ensure selections align with cultural or faith-based expectations. This guidance helps families feel respected while honoring what matters most to them. 
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           Including Messages That Offer Comfort to Loved Ones 
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           Tributes often include small notes or cards that express sympathy and support. Funeral homes can help families understand how these messages are shared and preserved during the gathering. These words can bring comfort and provide a meaningful reminder of how much support surrounds the family. 
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           Creating A Peaceful Atmosphere for Guests 
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           A well-prepared space can help guests feel calmer as they arrive. Funeral homes help arrange tributes in a way that supports a soothing environment and encourages reflection. This thoughtful presentation can help families feel proud of the gathering and supported by the community around them. 
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           Helping Families Manage Sent Tributes with Organization 
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           When many people send tributes, it can be difficult to keep track of who sent what. Funeral homes may help families organize cards and acknowledgments so gratitude can be expressed later. This added support helps reduce confusion and allows families to focus on what matters most in the moment. 
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           Offering Gentle Guidance When Decisions Feel Overwhelming 
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            During grief, even small decisions can feel emotionally heavy. Funeral homes provide calm recommendations and simple options without adding pressure. Their
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           goal is to support the family’s wishes
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            while helping
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           t
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           he planning process feel more manageable. 
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            If you are working with funeral homes in Laredo, TX and want guidance on meaningful selections, compassionate help can make planning easier. To
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           know more about our service
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           , contact Hillside Funerals &amp;amp; Cremations for caring support and thoughtful coordination.
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      <pubDate>Mon, 23 Feb 2026 18:58:16 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/funeral-homes-and-floral-tributes-meaningful-selections</guid>
      <g-custom:tags type="string" />
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      <title>What Funeral Homes Provide for Immediate Need Arrangement</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-funeral-homes-provide-for-immediate-need-arrangement</link>
      <description>Learn what funeral homes provide for immediate need arrangements, including coordination, documentation, planning, and family support during a time of loss.</description>
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           Learn what funeral homes provide for immediate need arrangements, including coordination, documentation, planning, and family support during a time of loss.
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            When a loss happens unexpectedly, choosing a
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           funeral home Rio Bravo, TX
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            families can rely on brings comfort and structure during a difficult moment. Immediate need arrangements often require many decisions in a short time, and funeral homes help guide families with clarity, compassion, and organization. Their role is to make the process manageable while honoring the wishes of the loved one and supporting those who are grieving. 
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           Compassionate First Call Support and Next Steps 
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           An immediate need arrangement often begins with a call made during a stressful and emotional time. Funeral homes provide calm, informative guidance by explaining what happens next and what information is needed right away. This early support helps families feel less overwhelmed and ensures the first steps are handled smoothly and respectfully. 
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           Careful Coordination with Required Documentation 
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           Families are often surprised by how much paperwork is involved after a loss. Funeral homes help gather and organize the necessary documents needed for legal and planning purposes. With clear instructions and step-by-step assistance, families can move forward without feeling lost in the details. 
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           Guidance On Choosing the Type of Service 
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           One of the first decisions families face is what type of gathering best reflects their loved one’s life. Funeral homes provide options and explain the differences in a simple way so families can choose what feels right. This guidance helps families create a meaningful experience without added confusion or pressure. 
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           Scheduling And Timeline Planning for Family and Guests 
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            Time matters in
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           immediate need planning
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           , especially when family members are traveling or balancing responsibilities. Funeral homes help coordinate dates and times while keeping the family’s preferences at the center. A well-organized timeline helps everything flow smoothly and allows loved ones to focus on remembrance and support. 
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           Preparing The Location for a Respectful Gathering 
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           Funeral homes
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            provide a welcoming setting designed for reflection and togetherness. They assist with arranging seating, coordinating a comfortable layout, and preparing the space so guests can arrive with confidence. This thoughtful preparation supports a peaceful environment where families can honor a life in a personal way. 
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           Transportation Planning and Logistics Support 
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           Immediate arrangements may involve coordinating transportation needs in a timely manner. Funeral homes help organize the necessary logistics so that transitions happen respectfully and without confusion. This support reduces stress for families who may be handling several responsibilities at once. 
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           Help With Personalized Tribute Elements 
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           Even with limited time, families often want to include meaningful details that reflect their loved one’s personality. Funeral homes can help with tribute ideas such as photos, written memories, or special readings. These personalized touches create a more comforting experience and help guests feel connected during the gathering. 
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           Communication Assistance for Family Updates 
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           Families may need to inform extended relatives and friends quickly, especially when plans develop rapidly. Funeral homes can help by providing clear details families can share, including schedules and location information. Strong communication reduces misunderstandings and helps guests arrive prepared and supported. 
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           Support For Family Decisions with No Pressure 
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           During immediate need arrangements, families may feel rushed to choose without enough time to think. Funeral homes help by offering guidance while respecting the family’s pace and priorities. Their job is to provide information and support, so decisions feel thoughtful, not forced. 
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           After-Arrangement Guidance for What Comes Next 
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           Many families need reassurance even after plans are finalized, especially when emotions remain heavy. Funeral homes offer continued guidance on what to expect and how to navigate the days ahead. This steady support helps families feel cared for beyond the initial planning period. 
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            When you need immediate help and clear direction, a trusted funeral home Rio Bravo, TX families turn to can make all the difference. If you would like to
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           know more about our service
          &#xD;
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           , reach out to Hillside Funerals &amp;amp; Cremations for compassionate guidance and support. 
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&lt;/div&gt;</content:encoded>
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      <pubDate>Mon, 09 Feb 2026 18:29:19 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-funeral-homes-provide-for-immediate-need-arrangement</guid>
      <g-custom:tags type="string" />
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      <title>How Funeral Homes Help with Travel for Out-Of-Town Guests</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-funeral-homes-help-with-travel-for-out-of-town-guests</link>
      <description>Learn how funeral homes assist out-of-town guests with travel planning, helpful directions, lodging coordination, and timely updates for a smooth, caring visit.</description>
      <content:encoded>&lt;div data-rss-type="text"&gt;&#xD;
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           Learn how funeral homes assist out-of-town guests with travel planning, helpful directions, lodging coordination, and timely updates for a smooth, caring visit.
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  &lt;img src="https://irp.cdn-website.com/b3b8c2e1/dms3rep/multi/funeral+homes+in+laredo-+tx.jpg" alt="funeral homes in Laredo TX"/&gt;&#xD;
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            When families choose
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           funeral homes in Laredo, TX
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           , they often need extra support for loved ones traveling from other cities. During an already emotional time, coordinating arrivals, timelines, and local logistics can feel overwhelming. A caring funeral home helps relieve that pressure by offering clear guidance so out-of-town guests can focus on being present, sharing memories, and supporting the family. 
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           Coordinating Service Details with Clear Timing 
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            One of the most helpful ways a
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           funeral home supports
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            traveling guests is by providing a simple, accurate schedule. This includes start times, expected duration, and key moments such as family gatherings or visitation hours. When information is organized early, guests can arrange flights, request time off work, and plan their arrival with fewer last-minute changes. 
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           Helping With Directions and Local Navigation 
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           Out-of-town visitors may not know the area well, so clear directions make a big difference. Funeral homes can provide maps, landmark-based instructions, and recommended routes from major roads. They may also offer parking guidance and arrival tips so guests feel confident getting to the location on time, even if they are visiting the city for the first time. 
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           Supporting Lodging Coordination for Visiting Families 
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           Finding a comfortable place to stay can be stressful when travel happens quickly. Funeral homes often help by recommending nearby lodging options that are convenient for families and visitors. This support allows out-of-town guests to stay close to the services and reduces the burden on the family members who are already managing many responsibilities. 
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           Offering Guidance for Airport and Transportation Planning 
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           Travel planning often includes questions about airport access, travel time, and transportation needs. Funeral homes can help guests understand local transportation options and travel timing so they arrive smoothly. With the right guidance, guests can avoid confusion and focus on supporting the family without added strain. 
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           Sharing Communication Updates with Extended Family 
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           Keeping everyone informed is important when multiple relatives are traveling in from different places. Funeral homes can help families prepare consistent updates, including schedule confirmations and any changes. This reduces miscommunication and ensures that guests receive the same details, helping everyone feel included and prepared. 
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           Helping Families Prepare for Accessibility Needs 
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           Some guests may need additional support, such as easier access pathways or seating considerations. Funeral homes can assist families in planning for guest comfort by addressing mobility concerns ahead of time. Thoughtful preparation helps visitors of all ages participate with dignity and reduces stress during the gathering. 
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           Providing Support for Family Hosting Responsibilities 
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            When people travel in, the family may feel pressure to host while
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           . Funeral homes can offer practical suggestions that ease that burden, such as organizing a structured timeline and suggesting ways to streamline guest coordination. This helps the family remain focused on remembrance while still caring for loved ones who arrive to support them. 
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           Making The Experience More Comforting for Out-Of-Town Guests 
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           Out-of-town guests often arrive with emotional weight and uncertainty, especially when they have not been through the process before. Funeral homes help by creating a calm, respectful environment, offering guidance on what to expect, and answering questions with patience. This supportive approach can make the visit feel more welcoming and less intimidating. 
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           Offering Planning Support When Guests Arrive Late 
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           Sometimes travel delays happen, especially with long-distance flights and unpredictable schedules. Funeral homes can help families navigate these challenges by offering options for keeping important moments meaningful, even if some guests arrive later than planned. This flexibility can reduce guilt and worry for traveling relatives while honoring the family’s wishes. 
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           Final Thoughts and Next Steps for Families 
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            When traveling is part of honoring a loved one, having experienced guidance matters. By supporting planning, communication, and guest comfort, funeral homes in Laredo, TX can help families feel less overwhelmed during a deeply personal time. To
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           learn more about how we support families
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            and visiting loved ones, reach out to us today at Hillside Funerals &amp;amp; Cremations today. 
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      <pubDate>Mon, 02 Feb 2026 18:06:23 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-funeral-homes-help-with-travel-for-out-of-town-guests</guid>
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      <title>What Is the Role of Funeral Homes in Supporting Grief Care</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-is-the-role-of-funeral-homes-in-supporting-grief-care</link>
      <description>Understand how funeral homes assist families through grief with professional guidance, emotional support, helpful materials, and ongoing compassionate care.</description>
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           Understand how funeral homes assist families through grief with professional guidance, emotional support, helpful materials, and ongoing compassionate care.
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            A
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           funeral home Rio Bravo, TX
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            often becomes one of the first sources of steady guidance after a loss. In the earliest hours and days, families may feel shocked, exhausted, and unsure of what to do next. Funeral professionals help reduce that overwhelm by offering clear direction, patient communication, and a respectful approach to every decision. They explain timelines, outline the steps ahead, and answer questions in a way that families can understand, even when emotions make details hard to absorb. This early support can bring a sense of calm and structure, giving families space to grieve while knowing they are not navigating everything alone. 
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           Creating a Space for Healing 
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           Grief can feel isolating
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           , which is why a supportive environment matters. Funeral homes provide quiet, private spaces where families can gather and reflect without pressure. These spaces allow loved ones to sit together, share memories, and process emotions at their own pace. A peaceful setting also helps guests feel comfortable offering support, especially when they are unsure what to say. By providing an atmosphere of respect and privacy, funeral homes make it easier for families to experience grief openly and safely, which is an important step in healing. 
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           Helping Families Honor a Life Meaningfully 
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           Grief care is closely connected to how a life is honored. Funeral professionals support families by helping them plan a tribute that feels true to the person’s character, values, and relationships. This might include selecting meaningful music, inviting family members to share reflections, or organizing a memory display with photographs and personal items. When families are guided through these choices with care, they often feel more confident that the farewell reflects what mattered most. A meaningful tribute can also provide comfort by turning remembrance into an experience of connection, gratitude, and shared support. 
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           Supporting Healthy Expression of Grief 
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           Many people worry about grieving “the right way,” especially when emotions come in waves. Funeral homes help by normalizing grief and encouraging families to express it without judgment. Funeral professionals often listen closely and respond with empathy, creating a supportive presence when families feel raw or uncertain. Even simple actions, such as offering time, quiet guidance, or thoughtful reassurance, can help families feel seen. This steady support can reduce feelings of isolation and help people understand that grief takes different shapes for different individuals. 
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           Offering Emotional Resources and Referrals 
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           After the gathering ends, families often need additional support. Funeral homes may provide grief education materials, referral lists for counselors, and information on local support groups. Some also share resources for different needs, such as support for parents, spouses, or those grieving a sudden loss. The purpose is to connect families with help that matches their situation and comfort level. By offering these resources, funeral homes reinforce that grief care is not limited to a single day. It is an ongoing process, and support should remain available as families move forward. 
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           Respecting Cultural and Spiritual Needs 
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            Grief is deeply personal and often shaped by culture and faith.
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           Funeral homes
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            support grief care by honoring traditions and accommodating meaningful practices. This may include coordinating with clergy, arranging specific readings, or ensuring the service format aligns with family beliefs. Cultural sensitivity also involves understanding family dynamics, the role of elders, and the ways grief may be expressed in different communities. When funeral professionals approach each family with respect and flexibility, families feel supported in a way that reflects who they are, which can bring comfort and reduce added stress. 
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           Strengthening Community Connection 
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           Funeral homes often serve as a bridge between families and the larger community. They may connect families with faith leaders, bereavement organizations, and community-based programs that provide continued care. This network is valuable because grief can feel heavier when people do not know where to turn. Community connection also helps families discover that support exists beyond their immediate circle. By pointing families toward trusted resources, funeral homes help reduce isolation and support healing through shared understanding. 
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           Providing Aftercare and Follow-Up Support 
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           A key part of grief care is what happens after the farewell. Many funeral homes check in with families in the weeks after the service to offer support, answer questions, and provide guidance on next steps. This follow-up can be especially helpful because needs often change once the initial rush of arrangements has passed. Families may have new concerns, emotional shifts, or moments when grief feels unexpectedly intense. Continued contact reminds families that support is still available and that their well-being matters beyond the ceremony. 
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           A Trusted Partner in the Grief Journey 
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            The role of a funeral home Rio Bravo, TX extends beyond organizing a service. It includes compassionate guidance, a safe space for reflection, resources for emotional support, respect for personal traditions, and continued care after the gathering ends. These layers of support help families feel steadier as they navigate grief over time. Ask readers to
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           know more about our service
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            at Hillside Funerals &amp;amp; Cremations and learn how dedicated grief care can offer comfort, guidance, and support when it is needed most. 
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      <pubDate>Mon, 02 Feb 2026 16:52:22 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-is-the-role-of-funeral-homes-in-supporting-grief-care</guid>
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      <title>Funeral Homes and Aftercare: Support Beyond the Service</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/funeral-homes-and-aftercare-support-beyond-the-service</link>
      <description>Understand how funeral homes offer aftercare support beyond the service through grief resources, follow-up guidance, planning help, and compassionate outreach.</description>
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           Understand how funeral homes offer aftercare support beyond the service through grief resources, follow-up guidance, planning help, and compassionate outreach. 
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            Choosing a
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           funeral home El Cenizo, TX
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            families trust is about more than planning a meaningful goodbye. Aftercare is the ongoing support a funeral home provides in the weeks and months after the service, when emotions can feel heavy and daily responsibilities return. This guidance helps families feel less alone and more prepared as they take the next steps forward. 
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           Follow-Up Care and Compassionate Check-Ins 
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           Aftercare often begins with simple outreach that reminds families they are still supported. Funeral homes may check in to see how loved ones are doing and if they have questions that came up after the service. These moments of connection can offer comfort and reassurance during a time when grief feels unpredictable. 
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           Grief Education and Helpful Resources 
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           Many people experience grief differently and may not know what is normal or how to cope. Funeral homes can provide educational materials that explain common emotions and the stages of mourning. Having trustworthy information helps families understand their feelings and recognize that healing is a personal process. 
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           Guidance On Paperwork and Next Steps 
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           Even after the service, families may still face responsibilities that require attention and organization. Funeral homes often help clarify what documents may be needed and what tasks might come next. This support reduces stress and helps families feel more confident handling details that can feel overwhelming. 
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           Support For Family Communication and Needs 
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            Loss can affect family dynamics, especially when
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           relatives are grieving
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            in different ways. Aftercare support may include guidance on talking with children, supporting elderly family members, or navigating difficult conversations with loved ones. This type of care encourages patience, understanding, and a stronger connection during a sensitive time. 
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           Referrals To Community Support Networks 
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           In some cases, families may benefit from connecting with local grief support options. Funeral homes may provide referrals to counselors, support groups, and community programs designed to help individuals process loss. Knowing where to turn for continued care can make a meaningful difference in long-term healing. 
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           Remembrance Opportunities Throughout the Year 
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           Grief often returns during anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. Aftercare can include reminders or ideas for honoring a loved one during these moments with intention and comfort. These opportunities help families reflect, remember, and maintain connection while continuing forward. 
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           Support For Practical Life Transitions 
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            After a loss, families may need to adjust routines, responsibilities, and daily life decisions.
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           Funeral homes
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            can offer guidance that helps families think through these transitions with care and patience. Practical support can help reduce anxiety while families rebuild stability at their own pace. 
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           Encouragement For Healthy Coping and Self-Care 
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           Aftercare also includes encouraging families to take care of themselves during grief. Funeral homes may share simple, supportive suggestions such as resting, seeking trusted support, and allowing space for emotions. These reminders help families recognize that healing takes time and that support is always appropriate. 
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           Continuing Support When Grief Feels Heavy 
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           Some families feel a strong wave of grief after the gatherings end and visitors return home. Aftercare reminds families that support does not end with the service and that it is okay to ask for help later. This ongoing availability helps individuals feel safer and more supported when emotions resurface. 
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            If you are looking for aftercare guidance from a funeral home El Cenizo, TX families can rely on, compassionate help is available beyond the service. To
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           know more about our service
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           , reach out to Hillside Funerals &amp;amp; Cremations for caring support and helpful resources.
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      <pubDate>Fri, 23 Jan 2026 18:41:55 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/funeral-homes-and-aftercare-support-beyond-the-service</guid>
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      <title>What Do You Do with Cremated Remains?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-do-you-do-with-cremated-remains</link>
      <description>What happens when no one decides what to do with the six pounds of cremated remains that are left following the funeral or memorial service? You might be surprised at some of the unusual places where they show up.</description>
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           What happens when no one decides what to do with the six pounds of cremated remains that are left following the funeral or memorial service? You might be surprised at some of the unusual places where they show up.
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           For example, let’s just say you buy a swell little red two-seater sports car and drive that baby home. Of course, you are going to give her a good sprucing up. When you get around to cleaning the trunk you find a non-descript little plastic box. Close inspection reveals it’s full of a chunky greyish white substance. On the bottom of the box you notice there is a label and a name! OMG! You have what’s left of someone you never knew in your trunk! Or, you buy a house and it looks like someone left a nice vase in the attic … you get where I am going with this, right? As life moves on, sometimes well-meaning people lose track of the box or urn they were looking after.
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           Thrift stores and Goodwill are often the recipient of cremated remains. And guess what? They don’t want your great uncle Henry.
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           How can this be? Well, family members are not always comfortable with the scattering plan the deceased requested. It’s hard to dispose of what remains of someone you loved. Perhaps the plan wasn’t even realistic. The sand trap on the seventh hole is really not an easy place to “scatter” six pounds of crushed bone fragments. It’s not sand. All too often, cremated remains find their way back to the funeral home years after the funeral service took place. It’s the boom-a-rang effect, leaving the funeral home with the task of tracking down a living relative.
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           The moral of this story is simple. When someone you love tells you they “just want to be cremated” ask this question, “And then what shall we do with your ashes?”. If you are thinking about cremation don’t leave your plan partially complete. Talk to your funeral director or advance funeral planner (both can be found at your local funeral home) about your options for after the cremation. Make sure the family members you designate to carry out your final plan are comfortable and able to take care of the final resting place for your ashes.
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           Finally, if you have a family member’s cremated ashes in the attic, trunk, or somewhere unusual and you need help with a final plan… call the funeral home. They can help you make choices.
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           www.hillsidefuneral.com
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      <pubDate>Fri, 19 Apr 2024 01:18:50 GMT</pubDate>
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      <title>Cremation Society or Funeral Home</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/cremation-society-or-funeral-home</link>
      <description>Cremation, like electric cars and cell phones is here to stay. For some people cremation is part of their religious practice. For other people, cremation just feels right for them. The big question is who should help you with your cremation, a society or a funeral director?</description>
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           Cremation, like electric cars and cell phones is here to stay. For some people cremation is part of their religious practice. For other people, cremation just feels right for them. The big question is who should help you with your cremation, a society or a funeral director?
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           Cremation Societies specialize in what is called a direct cremation. Direct cremation means the society will remove the deceased from the place of death and take the body directly to their crematory where the cremation process will take place. Following cremation, the ashes are returned to the family in a bag or box. It’s all pretty quick. The cost is quite low for direct cremation.
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           But something is missing.
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           How do we feel when a family member dies? What helps? Death is a loss. It is hard to describe how loss feels, but it is something like a void, a vacuum, or an energy shift. You see something close when you watch victims of the California wild fires or a tornado on television. You see that dazed and stunned look on their faces. That is loss. There they stand looking at a pile of rubble that was their home … and now it is gone. That look is about loss of a building. Loss of a person, someone you love, is so much more. It hurts your heart.
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           Funeral directors are trained and specialize in taking care of the deceased AND in taking care of the family of the deceased. They know people need more. They are going to encourage you to slow down a little and give the family a little time for the reality of the loss to sink in. Give a little time for the family to consider what they need to do to begin to heal. 
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           Funeral directors specialize in helping families put together a gathering to honor the one who died. They know that being with those you love and who love you helps. They know words, as a part of a religious, spiritual, or life celebration ceremony help. Funerals are the funeral director’s specialty. They have done this many times with many families. Funeral directors are the experts.
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           Of course, the funeral home will help you with a direct cremation if that is what your family prefers. To be fair, cremation societies will also add on some service options at the family’s request. As you add services the cost increases. It is important to look for value.
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           The funeral home is staffed by licensed trained funeral directors and serves families from a clean, company ready facility with plenty of parking and is a good value. Do your homework. Where will cremation take place? If your family wants service where will the service take place? If you add service and products what is the difference in price? How important is cost over expertise? Share your budget with the funeral director at your funeral home. Don’t assume you need to sacrifice ceremony for savings.
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      <pubDate>Fri, 12 Apr 2024 16:57:07 GMT</pubDate>
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      <title>Normandy’s Hallowed Ground</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/normandys-hallowed-ground</link>
      <description>Every year on June 6, we recognize the anniversary of the Normandy Invasion during World War II. The invasion by the Allied Forces established a foothold on the shores of France; and was the start of the Allied advance into the interior which eventually lead to victory in Europe and liberty for the millions of people living under the tyranny of Adolf Hitler. The costly battle was the most important allied victory in the second world war.</description>
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           Every year on June 6, we recognize the anniversary of the Normandy Invasion during World War II. The invasion by the Allied Forces established a foothold on the shores of France; and was the start of the Allied advance into the interior which eventually lead to victory in Europe and liberty for the millions of people living under the tyranny of Adolf Hitler. The costly battle was the most important allied victory in the second world war.
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           The campaign began on June 6 and ended on June 30. During that period 425,000 Allied and German troops were killed, wounded, or went missing. Many are buried in the 27 war cemeteries, ranging in size from 30 graves to 20,000, in Normandy.
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           The Normandy American Cemetery is the resting place for 9,387 Americans, most of whom gave their lives during the landing operations and in the establishment of the beachhead. The headstones are of white Italian marble adorned with a Star of David for those of Jewish faith and a Latin Cross for all others. The permanent cemetery is located on land France granted to the United States in perpetuity.
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           For those fortunate enough to visit the burial grounds, the experience is singular. Approaching alone or with a group the mood changes. Breathing slows, the chatter quiets, tones are hushed. The feeling is somber. It draws you in.
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           And then, there it is, pristine lush green lawn dotted by thousands of white markers in perfect formation overlooking the very beaches where those buried here fought and died.
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           Visitors are, at first, overwhelmed by the sheer number of markers. But as you get closer and begin to read the engravings, the reality of the cost of war begins to sink in. So many died, they were so very young, and all lost in such a short span of time.
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           All those lives ended before they ever really began. So many who would never find their true love, hold a new born child of their own, or buy a home. So many who never got to experience all the post war changes the rest of us take for granted. Those buried here did not live to see air travel become commonplace, a man land on the moon or watch a color television.
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           They were heroic and their sacrifice was great. We must never forget.
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           The anniversary is an opportunity to honor those lost. It is also an opportunity celebrate peace and reconciliation. In our mindfulness we become aware of the fragility of peace and the pain of war. It is that mindfulness that makes us better people.
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           In the words of the late John Lennon…
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           Imagine all the people
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           Living life in peace 
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           You may say that I'm a dreamer
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           But I'm not the only one
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           I hope someday you'll join us
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           And the world will be as one
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           www.hillsidefuneral.com
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      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Apr 2024 02:52:18 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/normandys-hallowed-ground</guid>
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      <title>Flowers and Funerals</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/flowers-and-funerals</link>
      <description>What’s the story behind flowers at a funeral? Well, back in the day before funeral directors perfected the art and science of embalming, flowers were used to mask the odor of the body.</description>
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           What’s the story behind flowers at a funeral? Well, back in the day before funeral directors perfected the art and science of embalming, flowers were used to mask the odor of the body.
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           In modern times flowers are no longer needed to mask unpleasant odors but they have come to be a part of the funeral for other reasons. When we struggle to find words to comfort a friend, flowers speak eloquently for us. They express that we care. Flowers can be sent from any place in the world to any place in the world. When we are not able to go to the service, flowers stand in our stead. Flowers are always in good taste and they are appreciated for the beauty and serenity they bring to the occasion.
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           Did you know different flower colors have different meanings? White flowers symbolize honor and innocence. In many religions, death means going to heaven and a return to innocence. White lilies, carnations, roses, and cushion poms are often used in funeral arrangements.
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           Red flowers are frequently given by a spouse or close family member. Red blooms symbolize courage, strength, and love. The red tulip is a symbol of perfect love. Blue flowers such as hydrangea and cornflowers represent peace and serenity. Yellow flowers symbolize friendship and new beginnings.
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           Flowers for the casket are usually provided by close family members. Funeral flowers are sent directly to the funeral home and are not usually addressed to a particular family member, but rather are sent in honor of the deceased. It is appropriate to send smaller cut flowers or plants of remembrance to individual family members at their home.
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           Flowers help us communicate feelings of the heart. Flowers speak for us and say we love you, we support you, we are proud of you, and we are with you on your grief journey.
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           In recorded time, and probably before, communities have understood the importance of gathering following a death. Paying respects to the deceased and comforting the survivors has been a part of life. Coming together when an important life event occurs is just natural. We come to see the new baby and we gather when a loved one’s life on this earth ends. We celebrate and remember with flowers.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 30 Mar 2024 15:41:31 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/flowers-and-funerals</guid>
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      <title>Celebrating Grads and Grands</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/celebrating-grads-and-grands</link>
      <description>Millions of high school students across the nation will graduate this year. There will be parties, balloons, cakes and speeches. Many of these young people will receive the gift of a wonderful little book written at 87 years of age by Dr. Seuss.</description>
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           Millions of high school students across the nation will graduate this year. There will be parties, balloons, cakes and speeches. Many of these young people will receive the gift of a wonderful little book written at 87 years of age by Dr. Seuss. 
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           Oh, the Places You’ll Go! was the last book to be published during Seuss’s lifetime. It’s about the journey of life and its challenges. It’s inspiring and makes a terrific graduation gift and is sure to be appreciated by any graduating senior…especially when a check, gift card, or tickets to Europe are stuck inside. 
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           But what about the other end of life. Shouldn’t there be another book… Oh, the Places You Have Been? Why, do people feel diminished as they age? Why are we taking less and less time to wrap up a life and tie it with a pretty ribbon? Why do we say, “No fuss needed for me, no funeral needed.”? Surely six, seven, or even nine decades of life are worth celebrating.  
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           At the end of every life shouldn’t there be a look back? What about the choices that were made, the work that was done, the people encountered, the things that were learned? What about all that? Shouldn’t just sticking with it through all the ups and the downs of life merit a celebration of some kind? As Seuss advises, “With brains in your head and shoes full of feet, you can steer yourself in any direction you choose.”
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           There have to be stories. This is the generation that began with a party line telephone and is ending up with telephone watches that take pictures and tell you how many steps you’ve taken in a day! There have to be stories. These people served in Vietnam, listened to the Beatles, watched a man land on the moon. They had black and white TV that only sent a signal a few hours a day and they walked to the TV to change channels! There have to be stories.
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           Now is the time. Capture those stories. Ask your parent(s) about their life before you. Ask the same of grandparents. Ask about their hopes and dreams. What surprised them? What was fun and what was hard? Capture the stories and the life lessons. Prepare to celebrate the grands as well as the grads.
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      <pubDate>Fri, 22 Mar 2024 20:31:45 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/celebrating-grads-and-grands</guid>
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      <title>Dad Died. What Do I Do with the Pills?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/dad-died-what-do-i-do-with-the-pills</link>
      <description>Prescription medication is expensive. Just that fact can be an understandable motivation for some risky business. When my father died, my mother was asking everyone, “Aren’t you on blood pressure medicine? You take this heart pill don’t you? What do you take for depression?” Her plan, no waste. My mom will also save four string beans when dinner is over. The beans I can live with, the pills I think we are treading on thin ice. It’s just best to follow the FDA recommendations.</description>
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           Prescription medication is expensive. Just that fact can be an understandable motivation for some risky business. When my father died, my mother was asking everyone, “Aren’t you on blood pressure medicine? You take this heart pill don’t you? What do you take for depression?” Her plan, no waste. My mom will also save four string beans when dinner is over. The beans I can live with, the pills I think we are treading on thin ice. It’s just best to follow the FDA recommendations. 
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           In order to keep drugs from falling into the wrong hands (children, pets, and addicts) the FDA recommends that you dispose of all medication as soon as possible. They suggest three options. 
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           Take Back Programs:   
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            These are periodic events scheduled in your community for a specified date and time. In addition, some communities have permanent collection sites, you can find the location of permanent collection sites at the
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           FDA website
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           . 
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           Disposal in Household Trash:   
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           Many medications can be disposed of in the household trash following this process. 
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           Mix - the pills with dirt, cat litter, or coffee grounds. Do not crush the pills 
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           Seal – the mixture in a plastic bag 
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           Throw – the bag in the household trash 
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           Scratch – scratch the information on the prescription label off the bottle and discard 
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            Flushing down the toilet: 
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            FDA recommends that a short list of drugs be immediately flushed. These drugs are dangerously addictive for children and others who have not been prescribed the medication. A complete list of these drugs is posted on the
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           .
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      <pubDate>Fri, 15 Mar 2024 15:45:55 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/dad-died-what-do-i-do-with-the-pills</guid>
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      <title>Mother Died…How Long Do We Keep Her Things?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/mother-diedhow-long-do-we-keep-her-things</link>
      <description>Separating from a loved one’s belongings is one of the more difficult jobs you will have to do after a death. It is amazing how much is collected over a lifetime. You probably won’t get it done in a day and you will probably shed a few tears.</description>
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           Separating from a loved one’s belongings is one of the more difficult jobs you will have to do after a death. It is amazing how much is collected over a lifetime. You probably won’t get it done in a day and you will probably shed a few tears.   
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            Ask for help. Accepting and asking for help is harder than you might think. It is hard to turn over the decision of what goes and what stays to someone else. If your offer of help is refused, be understanding. Your mother may need to handle every one of your deceased father’s possessions before anything can go. Give her some time and then offer to help again a little later. Offering to box or bag after items have been sifted through is a huge help. 
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            If you are the decision maker, consider providing some guidelines and then letting go. It’s a big job. Some help will be nice. 
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           First contact your family members to determine what they might be interested in having. Give people some notice and a time limit, “If there is anything that you want from Mom’s wardrobe please come and get it before next week. I am going to sort through then and will be giving things to charity.” 
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           Second, make it a goal to handle things once. To keep you on track, get boxes, bins or bags and mark them FOR CHARITY, FOR TRASH, TO KEEP. Keep those boxes moving. At the end of the day take the trash to the trash and the charity to the donation site so that you won’t be tempted to go through them just one more time.   
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           If you are thinking about having a sale, think long and hard. People haggle at tag and garage sales. Are you emotionally prepared to dicker over the value of your dad’s favorite tie or his collection of fishing lures? Might it be better to think of his things finding new homes with people who need them? Sales are a lot of work, be kind to yourself, avoid taking on too much. 
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           Procrastination won’t make the task easier. If you cannot take care of the sorting and giving, turn the job over to someone else. If you are a procrastinator, storage units have your name written all over them. Calculate the annual cost. Ask yourself, “What will change between now and next year?” Have a plan. When does the storage end? 
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           Memories are attached to our stuff. You will no doubt take more than a few walks down memory lane. Slow down and enjoy the journey. A life is over, but it’s not forgotten.
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      <pubDate>Fri, 08 Mar 2024 16:45:59 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/mother-diedhow-long-do-we-keep-her-things</guid>
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      <title>What to Look for When You are Buying Final Expense Insurance</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-to-look-for-when-you-are-buying-final-expense-insurance</link>
      <description>Cost is important, but it’s not the whole story. Take a look at the premium, the amount you will pay each month, how long will you pay that amount? It is not uncommon to pay until you are 100 or even older. Will you be able to pay that amount each month as you age? What if you live to be 100? Will the benefit stay in place? How much will you have paid in by that time? It’s not unheard of for people to end up paying more than they will receive in death benefits.</description>
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           The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.
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      <pubDate>Fri, 01 Mar 2024 18:38:47 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-to-look-for-when-you-are-buying-final-expense-insurance</guid>
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      <title>Too Little Too Late  - A Memorial Gone Wrong</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/too-little-too-late-a-memorial-gone-wrong</link>
      <description>Yesterday, Jane was on duty as a tour guide at a lovely little pre-revolutionary war church in rural Virginia. It was late in the afternoon when a youngish woman wearing shorts and a Cubs ball hat stepped into the visitor’s center looking lost. Thinking that she might need directions, Jane quietly approached to offer her assistance. The seemingly lost young lady said she just wanted to go in the church.</description>
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            Yesterday, Jane was on duty as a tour guide at a lovely little pre-revolutionary war church in rural Virginia. It was late in the afternoon when a youngish woman wearing shorts and a Cubs ball hat stepped into the visitor’s center looking lost. Thinking that she might need directions, Jane quietly approached to offer her assistance. The seemingly lost young lady said she just wanted to go in the church. 
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           Since visitors were not allowed in the church without a docent, Jane began to accompany her guest to her destination. Striking up a conversation, Jane quickly discovered there was a story behind the sad eyes of her visitor. She revealed her name was Stella and she was here from Chicago. The pair talked a bit and Jane started to tell her about the church. As they walked and talked, Jane casually asked, “What brings you to this part of Virginia?” Stella spoke in a soft tone revealing she was here for a “sort of” memorial service for her mother. The pain was obvious on her face with her lips quivering and eyes glistening with small pools of tears.   
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           They walked into the church and sat in one of the high back pews carved from pine when George Washington was just three years old. The sun was shining through the wavy glass windows. Jane took Stella’s hands and asked her, “Would you like to tell me a little bit about your mother?” The floodgates opened. She talked for an hour. She told the story that was her Mom.   
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           Stella was the single daughter. She had been the caregiver for her mother who died ten months ago. Her brother lived abroad and her sister and her family traveled frequently. Because it was hard to get them together, they all decided to forgo a funeral service and ship Mom’s cremated remains to Virginia for burial. It seemed, at the time, to make more sense to get together later.   
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           They agreed on June for the get together since that’s when their family typically came to visit mom and dad in this part of Virginia. They all stayed at a local inn and had dinner at their parent’s favorite restaurant. It was nice, but something was missing. There was no service. No words were spoken for Stella’s mother. It wasn’t enough for her. It was too little and too late.
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           It was obvious to Jane that Stella was distraught. There had been no closure. Jane’s heart broke for her. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder why. Why was there no service? Even something small, private and simple would have been better than nothing.
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           Jane knew some people had a fear of planning a service. They don’t know how to or what to plan. They are at a loss. They should have they called the local funeral home for help. The funeral director could have helped them find someone to pull together a brief ceremony at the graveside or in the chapel. There could have even been a service in the lovely little church where Stella sat and cried with a stranger.
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      <pubDate>Fri, 23 Feb 2024 13:18:14 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/too-little-too-late-a-memorial-gone-wrong</guid>
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      <title>Preplanning Your Funeral in Your 60’s</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/preplanning-your-funeral-in-your-60s</link>
      <description>According to a National Funeral Directors Association survey, more than half (62.5%) of us expect to participate in making our own funeral arrangements. And yet, less than a quarter of us have actually acted on that impulse. Not really so surprising since making funeral arrangements can literally be the very last thing we do. We can put it off right up to the end!</description>
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           According to a National Funeral Directors Association survey, more than half (62.5%) of us expect to participate in making our own funeral arrangements. And yet, less than a quarter of us have actually acted on that impulse. Not really so surprising since making funeral arrangements can literally be the very last thing we do. We can put it off right up to the end!   
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           So, when do you think you should just go ahead and get it done? How about when you are critically ill? Or, maybe before you go on that cruise? Does when you go into the nursing home seem too late? How about as you are preparing for retirement? Actually, sooner is better than later for several reasons. 
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           First, there is no down side to having your arrangements in place. If something new comes along or you change your mind about what you want, you can always make changes to your plan. If you move, you just move your plan. Nothing is carved in stone. 
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           Second, there are some real up-sides to getting your funeral plan written and on file at the funeral home. For one thing, you just never know. people do die unexpectedly. And then there is the money. Historically funerals, like almost everything, have gone up in price over the years. The funeral of today will likely almost double in cost in 10 years. Why are you waiting? 
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           Prearranged funerals are often funded in a way that buffers or even eliminates the impact of rising prices. You buy at today’s prices and you are done. When you plan in advance you also have the benefit of being able to pay over a specified period of time (you choose). As you age your choices become more limited. When you make your arrangements while you are in reasonably good health the cost of your funeral can be paid in full should you die before you’ve completed your payment cycle. Again, sooner is better than later.   
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           The early 60’s is a good time to visit your neighborhood funeral home and get your plan written and on file. This is when you will get the most out of the funding options. It is also when you are likely to have a good idea of what you will want in the way of services. At this age you are grounded, and you are likely to still be earning income. Making payments for a bit will hardly be noticed. Then when you retire, and take that cruise, you can just enjoy. You’re all set to just enjoy the rest of what life has to offer. 
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      <pubDate>Fri, 16 Feb 2024 22:50:45 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/preplanning-your-funeral-in-your-60s</guid>
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      <title>Grief is Individual</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/grief-is-individual</link>
      <description>Let’s talk about the stages of grief. There is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I studied them in nursing school, reviewed them when I got divorced and generally found them to be a pretty accurate and helpful bit of knowledge. And then, a family member died. Stages?</description>
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           Let’s talk about the stages of grief. There is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I studied them in nursing school, reviewed them when I got divorced and generally found them to be a pretty accurate and helpful bit of knowledge. And then, a family member died. Stages?   
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           In our house it was more like we all went to the amusement park and were all on very different rides. Up and down, round and round, quiet and loud. We were definitely not that family walking together peacefully along a path through stages. We were all a bunch of nuts. Although we love each other, we were dangerously close to coming apart at the seams. 
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           I don’t think we are the only ones. Death is the number one stressor for families. I’ve seen families break under the weight of illness and loss. Funeral directors will tell you the hardest part of their work is dealing with families who are emotionally fragmented. 
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           We all experience grief differently. It’s a singular journey. But you have to get along. If you don’t work it out you risk losing your family, not just the one member who actually died. So, what helped us?
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           Deep breathing and listening, I mean really listening to understand not just hear. Recognizing anger as an expression of fear. Seeing frenzied activity as a coping mechanism for helplessness. Making room for each other’s ways of expressing love.   
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           Accepting the prayers and the mementos even when the prayers aren’t ours and the memento is not what we would choose for a funeral.   
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           Being tolerant of each other’s needs and expression of their personal grief. Looking for what’s motivating the behavior not just the behavior itself. Being kind and tolerant. Hugging the huggers and giving the non-huggers their space. Letting go of judgment and making room for differences. I mean really, so what if your sister cries loudly? What’s the harm? 
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           The days before a funeral, the time during the arranging of the funeral and weeks following a funeral are not easy. You and your family can come out of it broken or stronger.
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      <pubDate>Fri, 09 Feb 2024 18:12:49 GMT</pubDate>
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      <title>How Should I Prepare for My Funeral Preplanning Meeting?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-should-i-prepare-for-my-funeral-preplanning-meeting</link>
      <description>First, relax. Talking about your funeral plans might make you a little uncomfortable at first but making a plan doesn’t mean you will be using it anytime soon. Your funeral director or advance planner will guide you through the process. Most people get very comfortable in just a few minutes.</description>
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           First, relax. Talking about your funeral plans might make you a little uncomfortable at first but making a plan doesn’t mean you will be using it anytime soon. Your funeral director or advance planner will guide you through the process. Most people get very comfortable in just a few minutes.   
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           Do consider bringing someone with you. Be aware that children are often reluctant to come. They don’t want to think about losing you. Insist they come anyway. They will thank you later. 
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           Do allow enough time. Typically, you will need an hour or two to get the most from your preplanning appointment.   
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            Make a list of your questions. You may be undecided about some things. That’s fine. This meeting is a good place to get the information you will need. Just ask. Why should I have a gathering? Is it important for my family to see my body? If I am cremated what are my options for a service? What are the benefits of paying in advance? If I pay in advance can I make payments? Any question you have is a good question. 
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           Probably the most important thing you can do to prepare for your meeting is simply to think about your family and your friends. Who are your people? Brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren, the friends you have known forever and the friends you see every day. Picture them. Think about them. What will they remember about you? What kind of a service will bring them comfort? Will they want to share stories? Will music be important? Will a spiritual component be a valuable part of your service? 
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            Become aware that not everyone in your circle may find comfort in the same way. Tell your planner about the needs of your family and friends. Let the funeral professional help you find the right fit for your people. The funeral is for the survivors, so think about them. 
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           People smile, they even laugh at these meetings. What you are about to do is a final gift for those you love.   
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      <pubDate>Fri, 02 Feb 2024 19:41:30 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-should-i-prepare-for-my-funeral-preplanning-meeting</guid>
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      <title>Moving After a Spouse Dies?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/moving-after-a-spouse-dies</link>
      <description>One of the realities of losing a spouse or a parent is the impact that event has on living arrangements. Are we living in the “right” place? Is the house too big? Is it too far away from family? Will my surviving parent be safe where they live? Should I move to be closer to mom or should mom move closer to me?</description>
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           One of the realities of losing a spouse or a parent is the impact that event has on living arrangements. Are we living in the “right” place? Is the house too big? Is it too far away from family? Will my surviving parent be safe where they live? Should I move to be closer to mom or should mom move closer to me? 
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           These are tough questions and they come at a time when emotions are running so very high. They also come at a time when income has likely decreased, perhaps requiring a change be made sooner rather than later. Conventional wisdom says wait at least a year before you make any big changes to your living situation, but the reality is waiting a year may not be financially possible. If you are able to slow down and let the dust settle a bit, that is no small blessing.   
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           Really, it all boils down to three considerations: happiness, safety, and finances. The surviving spouse needs to be in a place that not only works financially, but also is safe and happy. You are going to need to use both your rational mind and your emotions if you are to make the best decision.   
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            On the face of it, the financial consideration seems to be the trump card. After all, you have to be able to afford where you live. However, it is not always that simple. When the happiest place is affordable but not the most frugal choice, then maybe happy trumps financially smart? Decisions based on both emotion and rational thought are usually the best decisions. 
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           That emotional happiness factor also impacts the safety issue. Perhaps the safest living arrangement isn’t going to be a happy situation? In that case, put your rational mind to work on finding a way to make the happy place safer.   
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           You have to find the best fit answer for your family. As you are weighing those three considerations, resist the temptation to base the decision on what you think may happen or will happen down the road. Consider the wisdom of making decisions in the present, based on present circumstances. So, if dad is safe, happy and can afford to stay in his present home maybe no change is necessary … for now.
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      <pubDate>Fri, 26 Jan 2024 17:13:53 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/moving-after-a-spouse-dies</guid>
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      <title>How Much do Funerals Cost?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-much-do-funerals-cost</link>
      <description>For most of us, one of our first questions when we think we need a funeral home soon is, “How much will it cost?” It’s understandable that everyone wants a simple answer to this question. Unfortunately, there is no one simple answer.</description>
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           For most of us, one of our first questions when we think we need a funeral home soon is, “How much will it cost?” It’s understandable that everyone wants a simple answer to this question. Unfortunately, there is no one simple answer.
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           Think of the last time you bought a pair of shoes. It’s not really helpful to know that the average cost of a pair of shoes is $75.00. So, what does an “average” pair of shoes look like? Shoes come in many different sizes, colors and styles. You wouldn’t expect to call the shoe store and ask, “How much does a pair of shoes cost?” Everyone needs some help finding the right fit for his or her feet. You also understand that you’ll need to share more information about the kind of shoe you are seeking before you find the cost.
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           It’s the same with funerals. The funeral you choose will need to fit your family’s needs as well as your budget. The funeral director will help you with both. You will be pleased to know funeral homes are required to have standardized prices for everything they do. This price list must be printed and available for you. You should also take comfort in knowing there will be a range of prices associated with the choices you will be making. The funeral director wants you to be satisfied with both the service you select and with the costs associated with those services.
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           As soon as you are able, it is a good idea to call the funeral home and ask to set up a time to meet with a funeral director to review your options and prices. There should be no cost for this meeting. This is the best way to assure that you understand what is involved with the various services so that you can get the best value for your dollar.  You can schedule this kind of meeting with as many funeral homes as you desire.
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           At first, this may seem like a lot of work. The reality is, however, that you’ll obtain far more information by meeting with the funeral director versus searching online or making phone calls. You’ll save time, too. Don’t wait to set up that meeting if you think you’ll need a funeral home soon.
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      <pubDate>Fri, 19 Jan 2024 15:46:22 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-much-do-funerals-cost</guid>
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      <title>Funerals are for Saints and Sinners</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/funerals-are-for-saints-and-sinners</link>
      <description>These days we’re hearing a lot about life celebrations. A funeral is a ceremony for someone who has died and the survivors. A celebration of life is a funeral with a celebratory feel and it may or may not have a faith-based component. Celebrating the life of the accomplished, the kind, and the generous feels natural. It feels like something we should do.</description>
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           These days we’re hearing a lot about life celebrations. A funeral is a ceremony for someone who has died and the survivors. A celebration of life is a funeral with a celebratory feel and it may or may not have a faith-based component. Celebrating the life of the accomplished, the kind, and the generous feels natural. It feels like something we should do.
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           On the other hand, what do we do about the “broken” people? The bullies, the addicted, the angry, or those who just never got it all together. What do we do when they die? Most of us have one or more imperfect people in our immediate circle. 
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           The loss of one of these folks is real and it hurts. Because they are gone, our lives will not be the same. We may be relieved of a burden, but we are also without hope. The hope that we will get a hug or a kind word is gone. The hope that a child will get sober and realize the potential you knew was there is gone. The hope that we will hear “I’m sorry” or understand the reason behind the addiction, the anger, or the hatred is now gone. It’s painful. Someone we love has died. Having a funeral will help.
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           It can be hard to know just what to do when “celebration” doesn’t feel right. This may be especially true if a faith-based service does not feel like the right fit. Ask your funeral director for help. There are funeral celebrants who are not attached to a church who can help you find the right fit. Your funeral director can help you find the right person. 
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           Funerals are always for the survivors. Regardless of how the deceased spent their time on this earth, survivors need to gather with each other and their friends. Everyone needs to share in a safe place. All survivors grieve. We all need the opportunity to begin our grief journey in a healthy way. A funeral, a ceremony for someone who has died, is the beginning of that journey.
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      <pubDate>Thu, 11 Jan 2024 14:51:55 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/funerals-are-for-saints-and-sinners</guid>
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      <title>Control Funeral Costs by Planning Ahead</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/control-funeral-costs-by-planning-ahead</link>
      <description>How does planning for your funeral in advance save you money? Doesn’t it just let the funeral home make money on your money? How big a part should emotion play in your funeral selections?</description>
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           How does planning for your funeral in advance save you money? Doesn’t it just let the funeral home make money on your money? How big a part should emotion play in your funeral selections?
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           First, let’s be honest. Emotion is not a bad thing. Some life events should move us emotionally.
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           Marriage, birth, and death all appropriately tug at our heartstrings. But the cost of all three can also get out of hand if you make all the decisions when emotions are running high.
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           Put the word “wedding” in front of anything and the cost doubles. If you’ve ever planned a wedding you know that the dress will cost you half as much if you buy it far in advance instead of just before you need it. The same is true of funerals.
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           When you and your spouse sit down together with the funeral director, well in advance, you’ll feel a little emotion as you consider the reality of your death.
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           But that little tug is nothing compared to what your husband or wife will feel if you don’t prepare in advance and they’re making those decisions alone hours after you’ve died.
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           Emotional overspending happens. Funeral directors don’t make it happen. In fact, they don’t like it either.
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           Advance planning allows you to make all the decisions that determine the final cost. Making them together with cool heads and warm hearts saves dollars.
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           Planning ahead eliminates the excessive spending that can occur when someone is in a heightened emotional state.
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           Think back to wedding planning.
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           Starting early can also help you absorb the cost over a longer period of time. That means you don’t drag the wedding debt into your brand new marriage.
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           When you plan your funeral in advance, you will also have the option of paying for it over time. That means you don’t have to take money from your savings or investments and your survivors won’t have the financial burden of paying for your funeral days after your passing. Advance planning eliminates the need for a lump sum payment when death occurs.
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           All money set aside in advance for a funeral should be held with a third party. Nearly all funeral homes participate in programs that hold the dollars in either insurance or a trust product until the death occurs.
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           The funeral home should not have access to your funds and the insurance products they use should have an increasing death benefit to help offset inflation, providing a cushion for increasing funeral costs.
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           Consult with an advance planning specialist for more details.
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      <pubDate>Fri, 05 Jan 2024 05:35:33 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/control-funeral-costs-by-planning-ahead</guid>
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      <title>Preparing for a Funeral: Gathering Pictures</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/preparing-for-a-funeral-gathering-pictures</link>
      <description>A funeral should be a celebration of your loved one’s life, and to create this feeling, ensure that they surround their guests at their funeral. Gathering photos for their funeral is one way to make their presence felt. Those photos hold stories that show who your loved one was. And when you gather photos beyond your own supply, you end up with many different stories, including some you yourself didn’t even know. When you collect pictures for a funeral, you’re getting a chance to walk down memory lane and invite your family and friends on that journey with you. Here are a few tips for collecting photos and videos for your loved one’s funeral.</description>
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           A funeral should be a celebration of your loved one’s life, and to create this feeling, ensure that they surround their guests at their funeral. Gathering photos for their funeral is one way to make their presence felt. Those photos hold stories that show who your loved one was. And when you gather photos beyond your own supply, you end up with many different stories, including some you yourself didn’t even know. When you collect pictures for a funeral, you’re getting a chance to walk down memory lane and invite your family and friends on that journey with you. Here are a few tips for collecting photos and videos for your loved one’s funeral.
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           How to Gather and Display Pictures for a Funeral
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           1.  Consider creating a Dropbox or Google Drive to keep everything in one place.
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           It’s easy to feel overwhelmed while planning the funeral. And although it might not sound like a lot of stress to collect photos, when you’re dealing with grief, even the small things can become anxiety-inducing. Rather than getting bombarded by emails with photos, send your family and friends one email containing a Dropbox or Google Drive link where they can upload their images and videos all to one place.
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           2.  Dedicate a time and location for photo gathering.
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           Especially if your loved one was older and didn’t have many digital photos, you will want to go through their old photo albums for images to share at the funeral. Before you convene for the funeral, ask your family and friends to come over to your loved one’s house to go through those albums and maybe collect a few other mementos to bring to the funeral. Gathering photos with family members is a very emotional experience, and seeing your loved one’s happy memories can be painful so soon after their passing. But sharing this time with family and friends can also help you on your journey through the grieving process. All of that emotion you’re experiencing can aid your healing.
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           3.  Decide how you want to use the photos.
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           Often, pictures decorate a funeral. Alongside flowers, they make a funeral space brighter and livelier. But there are other ways to use photos and even videos at funerals. You could decide to make a memorial slideshow, which can be shown during the ceremony, complete with music and voiceover, or play silently in the background of a memorial celebration. Using a digital slideshow gives you more options as to what type of media you want to use, including videos and voice recordings.
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           For memorial slideshows, it’s helpful to aim to tell a story and follow some sort of progression. You could opt to have the slideshow start from their earliest baby pictures all the way until their last image, with their life story filling out between. Or you could focus on something important to who they were in life, like displaying a slideshow that shows how much they loved to travel.
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           Before making a slideshow, check with your funeral home to be sure they have a projector or monitors to display the photos and videos on. Funeral homes often do, but you’ll need to provide one if not. You could also decide to have the slideshow play in a digital frame, but keep in mind that most of these types of frames don’t play audio.
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           And remember that the most important thing are the photos, videos, and other pieces of content in your slideshow. Even if you’re not the most tech-savvy, you can still put together a meaningful slideshow using relatively simple and free programs like Google Slides.
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           Talk to your funeral home about what options they have for displaying photos. In addition to asking if they have projectors or monitors for memorial slideshows, ask about their printing services. Many funeral homes will print photos for poster boards or foam core boards, which can be displayed on easels throughout the funeral.
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           4.  Collaborate with your friends and family on photo displays.
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            A memorial slideshow is just one way to show significant pictures of your loved one. You could also opt to make a collage or even a
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           memorial tree
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           . Get creative with how you display the photos. Maybe a family member passed away who loved to bake and had hundreds of recipes their loved ones enjoyed over the years. Consider printing up a book of their recipes with their pictures throughout the pages. The book adds to the storytelling aspect of sharing photos at a funeral. Guests can peruse the recipes that they’ve come to know and love alongside their loved one’s smiling face. You can even consider making multiple copies to give away after the funeral to close family and friends.
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           Just like with photo collecting, creating displays for the funeral can get emotional. Call up some of your loved one’s family and friends and ask them for their help. Working together on a meaningful project can help everyone through their grieving process.
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           No matter how you gather pictures and display them, it’s essential that you don’t feel isolated. In fact, any form of funeral planning is better when you’re working together, as you explore old memories and be together while you grieve. Make collecting and displaying photos into a creative project that celebrates your loved one and all those who remain with you.
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      <pubDate>Mon, 04 Dec 2023 03:02:56 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/preparing-for-a-funeral-gathering-pictures</guid>
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      <title>How to Prepare for a Funeral? Contacting Loved Ones</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-to-prepare-for-a-funeral-contacting-loved-ones</link>
      <description>The death of a loved one is often the most challenging thing one will face in one’s life. It’s overwhelming, disheartening, and saddening for you personally, but also for those around you. As you prepare for the funeral, you’ll need to start contacting loved ones. How do you determine who to tell first and how?</description>
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           The death of a loved one is often the most challenging thing one will face in one’s life. It’s overwhelming, disheartening, and saddening for you personally, but also for those around you. As you prepare for the funeral, you’ll need to start contacting loved ones. How do you determine who to tell first and how?
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           Call those closest first
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           Immediate and extended family members along with close friends are who you should be contacting first. They are the ones who were most important to the deceased, and it is imperative they be made aware first before funeral arrangements are made. As you make your rounds, it will be a good idea to ask for up-to-date information including email addresses so details can be shared as the funeral approaches.
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           Consider sending out an email
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           An email chain can be started with those within the deceased’s communities, religious groups, and workplace. Keeping the email short will allow easy circulation and sharing. Keep funeral details short and omit any sensitive information that the family would want to keep private.
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           Social Media and Obituary
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           Writing an obituary can be really challenging for a few reasons, but chief among them is grappling with summarizing the life of your loved one in just a few paragraphs. Don’t worry about getting it perfect; the main purpose of an obituary is to inform the surrounding community of the death and memorial. You’ll have the chance to tell your loved one’s full story at the service. Be sure to have another set of eyes on the obituary as it’s written; this could spare any potential headaches arising from spelling errors or incorrect details.
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           And lastly, social media will reach the rest of the deceased’s circle of connections. Be careful to inform the immediate family and inner circle before sending out any social media post. It really should fall to the very bottom of the priority list in terms of spreading the news and is best for minimizing any hurt or shocked feelings. Keep the post brief, and consider linking the published obituary and service details. A good post will generate condolences, the sharing of memories, and support.
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      <pubDate>Mon, 04 Dec 2023 02:58:51 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-to-prepare-for-a-funeral-contacting-loved-ones</guid>
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      <title>What to Do with Funeral Flowers</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-to-do-with-funeral-flowers</link>
      <description>Flowers and funerals have been linked since the earliest times. One hundred thousand years ago at Qafzeh in Israel, possibly the world’s oldest intentional burial site, there is evidence flowers were placed on the graves. Why flowers? Maybe they were placed on top of buried remains to disguise the scent of decay and discourage animals from disturbing the grave. Or perhaps the beauty of flowers has always made them a likely token of esteem for someone who has died. Regardless of the reason, the connection of flowers and funerals remains strong today.</description>
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           Flowers and funerals have been linked since the earliest times. One hundred thousand years ago at Qafzeh in Israel, possibly the world’s oldest intentional burial site, there is evidence flowers were placed on the graves. Why flowers? Maybe they were placed on top of buried remains to disguise the scent of decay and discourage animals from disturbing the grave. Or perhaps the beauty of flowers has always made them a likely token of esteem for someone who has died. Regardless of the reason, the connection of flowers and funerals remains strong today. 
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           So, what can be done with all those lovely blooms after the funeral is over? 
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           1.   Remember to offer the flowers to all family members and close friends. Before everyone disperses ask them to take an arrangement and enjoy it in your loved one’s memory.
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           2.   Use the flowers to brighten someone’s day. Arrangements can be deconstructed and made into bouquets that can be distributed to nursing homes, friends and neighbors.
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           3.   Many churches purchase flowers for their services. Check to see if a donation of your flowers might be welcome.
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           4.   Arrange flowers in a bouquet, hang them upside down in a dark dry place and allow them to dry for a long-lasting keepsake arrangement.
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           5.   Remove the petals, arrange them on baking trays and dry in a low heat oven to make potpourri.
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           6.   Press some of the prettiest blooms.
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           7.   Explore the internet you will find people who will use your flowers to make a variety of keepsakes as well as some helpful ideas and how-to instructions.
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           8.   Compost your flowers. You just might be gifted with volunteer blooms in the Spring.
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           Finally, remember the intended sentiment of the flower. They are meant to give comfort. They were sent because someone needed to express their love and affection for you or the person who died. Flowers are not intended to become a burden; you are not expected to keep them forever. Just enjoy the flowers in the quantity and for the length of time that suits you and then let them go.
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      <pubDate>Mon, 04 Dec 2023 02:56:48 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-to-do-with-funeral-flowers</guid>
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      <title>How Do You Help Someone Who is Grieving When You are Grieving Yourself?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-do-you-help-someone-who-is-grieving-when-you-are-grieving-yourself</link>
      <description>Perhaps you begin by just believing in yourself. Even though you may feel empty you have something to give. Even if your emotions are right there on the surface, it’s ok. Even if you are trying to immerse yourself in your life to avoid your own pain, surrender. Join hands with your fellow mourner and let yourself feel.</description>
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           Perhaps you begin by just believing in yourself. Even though you may feel empty you have something to give. Even if your emotions are right there on the surface, it’s ok. Even if you are trying to immerse yourself in your life to avoid your own pain, surrender. Join hands with your fellow mourner and let yourself feel. 
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           When you mourn with someone who shares your loss you are not there to fix anything. You can’t cheer up a mourner, you can’t absorb or eliminate their pain. You needn’t hide your own pain, there is no need to put on clown face. When you are invited to share time with your grieving friend or relative just slow down, lean in, measure your words, use the name of the person who died, and listen. Hear what they are missing and feeling about the person you both loved. Share what you loved and miss about your person. Cry together. Acknowledging the pain is comforting. It’s enough.
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           People travel through life finding their way. It’s a bit like we are writing a script for our life or a book about the life we anticipate. In most cases the narrative is not reality. Often, we go to college to be one thing and end up being another. We marry the boy or girl of our dreams and then we find out what we dreamed wasn’t reality. We have children and we find out real flesh and blood children are not necessarily what we put in our script. Our script doesn’t include the challenges we face in real life. But the challenges come, and we are resilient. We do our best. Sometimes our best is excellent and sometimes it’s just passable. We get hurt and we survive and are happy and then the cycle happens again. 
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           Rarely do we include the death of a dear friend, wife, husband or child in our script. When it happens, we suffer. We mourn. We may never understand but we have survived in the past and we will again. 
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           Perhaps in time we will add something from the person who died into our life. We will embrace something they loved and incorporate it into our story. Because they loved the sunrise, we’ll become an early riser and marvel at the dawn. Because they never knew a stranger, we’ll talk to the person who checks out our groceries. Because they taught little children to read, we’ll volunteer to read stories to little ones at the library. 
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           Mourning takes time. It cannot be rushed. For some it takes months and for others longer. Mourning has up and downs, good days and not so good days. Mourning is a journey. It can’t be skipped. It’s personal and yet it does not need to be solitary. 
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           Laura Jean Truman tell us …
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           You can’t heal people you love. You can’t make choices for them. You can promise they won’t journey alone. You can loan them your map. But the trip is theirs.
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      <pubDate>Mon, 04 Dec 2023 02:54:44 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-do-you-help-someone-who-is-grieving-when-you-are-grieving-yourself</guid>
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      <title>How to Bring Creativity to a Funeral Service</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-to-bring-creativity-to-a-funeral-service</link>
      <description>Start with your funeral director. When you first meet, let him or her know that you want to do something individually suited to your loved one. Ask her how she can help. Understand that many excellent funeral professionals are not necessarily creative. Even if your director is not particularly creative himself, he will usually be knowledgeable about local resources that can help you.</description>
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           Start with your funeral director. When you first meet, let him or her know that you want to do something individually suited to your loved one. Ask her how she can help. Understand that many excellent funeral professionals are not necessarily creative. Even if your director is not particularly creative himself, he will usually be knowledgeable about local resources that can help you. 
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           You may find creativity in yourself or other family members. Begin by thinking about the one who died. What did they love? What did they do for fun? Was your person an avid reader? An avid fan? A sports player or watcher? Did she cook, bake, or quilt? What do you want the service to reflect about your loved one?
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           Next, consider the talents you have within your family. Do you have a musician, a reader, a storyteller, or a singer? Who can you tap to help you put together this special remembrance?
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           Look for ways to use your family pictures. Consider enlarging a few or creating a photo montage perhaps set to favorite music. Pictures are powerful. They stimulate memories and encourage sharing stories.
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           Include attendees. It’s not unheard of to ask people to wear team colors, or their favorite ski hat, or just bright colors to the funeral service. The idea is to bring everyone into celebrating the interest of the person who died. Look for opportunities to involve friends and co-workers into the service program.
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           Share with attendees. Share the famous cookie recipe, share the books the person who died is leaving behind, share the songs they loved, share the trips they took, share the paintings, the wood working, the golf balls, flower seeds, share the love. 
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           Finally, keep your funeral director in the loop as you come up with ideas. Ask for support. You will be pleasantly surprised at what your funeral director is willing to do to help you put together a service that reflects your loved one and brings comfort to your family.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 02 Dec 2023 17:30:59 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-to-bring-creativity-to-a-funeral-service</guid>
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      <title>Should I attend the Visitation or the Funeral?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/should-i-attend-the-visitation-or-the-funeral</link>
      <description>Close family and friends of the person who died will likely attend the visitation and funeral service. Others may attend both or may need to or prefer to attend one or the other but not both.</description>
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           Close family and friends of the person who died will likely attend the visitation and funeral service. Others may attend both or may need to or prefer to attend one or the other but not both.
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           Visitation may take place the day before the funeral, the evening before or even just hours before the funeral service. Most often the visitation has less structure than a funeral service. What happens at a visitation is based on local tradition, religion and the preference of the family. 
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           Often the body will be present for viewing. Visitors who find it helpful to see the body will approach the casket respectfully and take a moment to pray or say good-bye in their own way. Those who are not comfortable with this opportunity need not participate. If you are not comfortable with seeing a body don’t allow that to keep you from attending the visitation and offering comfort to the mourners.
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           When attending a visitation, friends and family will come and go during the prescribed calling hours as they choose. Attendees include people who knew or admired the deceased and people who did not know the person who died but who know one or more of the mourners. They come to offer condolences or to share fond memories and stories of the person who died. 
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           When you are one of those who knew the deceased but did not know the family do not underestimate the power of your story. Introduce yourself, share how you knew their family member, use his name and share what you enjoyed, admired, or did with the person they loved and lost. 
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           The funeral, on the other hand, is a more structured event. It will have a beginning middle and end. Attendees are expected to remain for the entire program. Funerals may be faith based or a celebration of life. They will usually include a eulogy and often pictures, music, or readings are included. 
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           Attending either a funeral or visitation shows respect for human life and affection for those who have lost someone they love.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 25 Nov 2023 15:33:27 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/should-i-attend-the-visitation-or-the-funeral</guid>
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      <title>Why Plan Your Funeral in Advance?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/advanced-planning</link>
      <description>The strongest and most compelling recommendations for advance funeral planning come from those who have just buried a parent. The daughter who just worked with her four brothers to put together a funeral for their mother will be the first to tell you, “If you have not already done so, please plan your funeral.”</description>
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           The strongest and most compelling recommendations for advance funeral planning come from those who have just buried a parent. The daughter who just worked with her four brothers to put together a funeral for their mother will be the first to tell you, “If you have not already done so, please plan your funeral.”
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           No matter how well siblings get along, making emotionally charged decisions together in a short time frame is hard. A funeral “pre-arrangement” is a gift, and it is easy to do. So, how do you begin?
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           Call the funeral home and ask to schedule a meeting with the advance planning specialist. Set aside about two hours for this meeting. 
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           As you prepare for the meeting think about those you will leave behind. What will comfort them? How should the funeral service feel? Will Faith play a part? Does a “Life Celebration” feel attractive? Or will your family be best served by a little of each? 
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           Prepare a list of questions. You needn’t know all the answers before you meet with the funeral professional. Your meeting is an opportunity to learn and explore the choices
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           that are available and find the option that will work best for those you love.
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           Think about who will be responsible for the cost of your funeral. If you were to die tomorrow who would cover the cost? Understand that planning in advance never means that you must pay the total funeral cost at the time you complete your plan. 
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           Be sure to ask about payment options that are available through your funeral home. Often you will find the funeral home has access to financial products that allow a person to pay for their funeral over time while being covered for the total funeral amount should death occur before payment is complete. Be sure to ask your funeral professional how these plans work. You will no doubt be pleasantly surprised by both the affordability and the flexibility of funding your funeral plan.
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           Planning your funeral in advance does not shorten your life. It does make the remainder of your days feel a little lighter because you know you have provided clear direction for your family.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 18 Nov 2023 19:38:17 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/advanced-planning</guid>
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      <title>Honoring Military Service</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/honoring-military-service</link>
      <description>Taps. There is nothing like the sound of those patriotic notes. It grabs your heart, it makes you cry. It honors the service and risk a man or woman took for our safety and the safety of our country.</description>
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            Taps. There is nothing like the sound of those patriotic notes. It grabs your heart, it makes you cry. It honors the service and risk a man or woman took for our safety and the safety of our country. 
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            Public law provides military burial benefits for all who served and were honorably discharged from any of the five branches of the U.S. Military. Your funeral director or advance funeral planner can explain all of the benefits you or your family members are eligible to receive. They will also access those benefits related to the funeral or burial on your behalf. Your funeral director can help you weave the remembrance of your loved one’s military service into the fabric of their full life experience. 
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           Most who have served in any of the branches of our military, whether it be for a few years or as a career, will tell you the experience had a profound impact on their life. Even when the service period was brief and at a tender age and followed by many years of some other vocation, that service should be honored.   
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           The funeral professionals at your local funeral home have the resources and know how to help you get the remembrance just right. In addition to the playing of taps and flag ceremony provided by public law, there are caskets, vaults, and urns that highlight each branch of the armed services to be considered. Photos and music can also be a part of the funeral gathering or ceremony and can add so much to the remembrance.   
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           How much or how little your family wishes to focus on the military service of a loved one is a matter of personal choice. With the assistance of your funeral director, a military service can be planned that finds the perfect balance for your family. 
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      <pubDate>Sat, 11 Nov 2023 15:06:27 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/honoring-military-service</guid>
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      <title>Is It Bad Luck to Plan Your Funeral in Advance?</title>
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      <description>Definitely not. In fact, if one were to ask the children and family members of those who planned their funeral in advance how they felt about their family member’s foresight they would no doubt tell you they felt very lucky indeed.</description>
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           Definitely not. In fact, if one were to ask the children and family members of those who planned their funeral in advance how they felt about their family member’s foresight they would no doubt tell you they felt very lucky indeed. 
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           Imagine this: your phone rings or buzzes or sings and you answer or check your messages only to find out someone you care about has died. Maybe they succumbed to a long and difficult illness or perhaps the death was caused by an accident or a sudden unexpected medical event. What happens next? If you are one of the family decision makers, you begin to come together. That coming together can mean a drive across town or it may involve booking a flight. It can mean a series of telephone calls or a Zoom style family meeting. There will be questions that need to be answered and decisions that must be made.
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           Where did the death occur? Who do you call to transport the body? Where will the body be taken? Which funeral home will be used? When will a service take place? Will there be burial, cremation or something else? Will there be a spiritual component? Who will prepare the death notice? Who will take care of writing the obituary? How much will everything cost and who will pay? How soon will funds be available? There will be many decisions that must be made in a short period of time.
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           Now, imagine there is a plan in place. Funeral arrangements have been made and paid for in advance, maybe even years before an illness was even known about. Imagine family members knowing exactly who to call, what will happen, how much it will cost and how all the services will be paid for. Luck is with those who prepare. It’s called making your own luck.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 04 Nov 2023 12:14:32 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/is-it-bad-luck-to-plan-your-funeral-in-advance</guid>
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      <title>What is the Day of the Dead?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-is-the-day-of-the-dead</link>
      <description>Day of the Dead is a two-day Mexican celebration beginning on October 31 and ending on November 2. The multi-day holiday involves family and friends gathering to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died. In Mexican culture, death is viewed as a natural part of the human cycle. Mexicans view it not as a day of sadness, but as a day of celebration because their loved ones awake and celebrate with them.</description>
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           Day of the Dead is a two-day Mexican celebration beginning on October 31 and ending on November 2. The multi-day holiday involves family and friends gathering to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died. In Mexican culture, death is viewed as a natural part of the human cycle. Mexicans view it not as a day of sadness, but as a day of celebration because their loved ones awake and celebrate with them.
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           It is a lovely celebration. The spirits are not feared but are embraced. Prayers are offered to help the deceased on their journey. Graves are tended and decorated with flowers, usually marigolds. Whole families go to the cemetery, they bring favorite foods and memories about the deceased are shared.
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           The holiday dates back 2,500 – 3,000 years to the ancient pre-Columbian culture of ancient Mexico. Although Day of the Dead festivities happen at the same time as the American holiday Halloween, they are not the same. The tone of Day of the Dead celebrations is full of color and joy whereas Halloween is dark and mysterious. In the ancient Mexican tradition, the dead are still considered members of the community, kept alive in memory and spirit. 
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           Altars built to honor the dead include the four elements, water, earth, wind, and fire. A water pitcher sits on the alter for the spirits to drink from. Wind is represented in small colorful flags that flutter in the breeze and a candle is present to represent fire. Finally, the food, especially bread, symbolize earth.
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           This year when you see the those brightly painted skeletons, you’ll understand that they are not about Halloween but are part of a holiday that celebrates family and friends who have gone before. How nice is that?
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      <pubDate>Sat, 28 Oct 2023 14:39:51 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-is-the-day-of-the-dead</guid>
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      <title>Choosing the Right Funeral Service: 10 Steps to Help You Get it Right</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/choosing-the-right-funeral-service-10-steps-to-help-you-get-it-right</link>
      <description>Who gets to decide what is included in a funeral service? Each state has laws that govern who has control over the body of a person who has died. In most states if the individual was married, the spouse will be responsible for taking care of the disposition (what happens to the body) and funeral service. When there is no spouse the adult children will decide. If there is no spouse and the children are minors, then the parents of the deceased will be responsible. If the parents are also deceased, then brothers and sisters will become the responsible decision makers.</description>
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           Who gets to decide what is included in a funeral service? Each state has laws that govern who has control over the body of a person who has died. In most states if the individual was married, the spouse will be responsible for taking care of the disposition (what happens to the body) and funeral service. When there is no spouse the adult children will decide. If there is no spouse and the children are minors, then the parents of the deceased will be responsible. If the parents are also deceased, then brothers and sisters will become the responsible decision makers. 
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           As you can see, there are a variety of scenarios where “who decides” can get messy. Also know that the person who is going to pay for the funeral is entering into a contractual agreement with those who will provide service - the funeral home, crematory or cemetery. As a result, that person will have the “power of the checkbook”. With that power comes a considerable measure of control over decision making. 
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           There are different ways to approach putting together a funeral service. The “right” service is the one that honors the life of the deceased and provides ease for the survivors. When faith is important to the family or was important to the deceased that faith is usually reflected in the service. The right service fits the budget and does not create a financial burden. There are many options to consider in putting together a funeral. All of these choices ensure that every family is able to have a service that is right for them.
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           When you find yourself in the role of decision maker regarding a family member’s funeral, the ten steps below can help you assure the funeral will provide comfort to you and all of your family remembers.
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           Step #1 Take a deep breath and give yourself permission to fall short of “perfect”. 
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           Remember these famous words …
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           “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't …” … please all the people all of the time” (Poet John Lydgate as made famous by Abraham Lincoln).
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           Know that even when you do your best there may be some people who would have done differently. 
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           Step #2 Make a list of the people who are the “some” that you really do want to please
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           The spouse or partner, the children, the parents, sisters and brothers, and close life-long friends are all people who are likely to be deeply affected by the funeral service. These are the people the service needs to please. In order to plan the “right” funeral you will need to know what is important to these people. This does not mean everyone needs to or will agree. Nor does it require everyone weigh in on every decision. 
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           Step #3 Ask each of these people, “What is the one thing that you would most like to see included in the funeral service”
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           Write these answers down. Ask clarifying questions if needed in order to be sure you really understand what is most important to each of the people you are aiming to “please”. Don’t make any promises beyond that you intend to do your best. Do this before you have your appointment with the funeral director. Don’t forget to include what is most important to you on your list.
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           Step #4 Consider your budget and make a list of the questions you would like to ask the funeral director
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           There is no need to have all the answers or know exactly what you want included in the funeral service before the funeral arrangement conference. In fact, having your mind completely made up regarding service options might mean missed opportunity. No one knows better than the funeral director what can be done. After all, they do funerals every day. Fortunately for most of us, we are only responsible once or twice in a lifetime. 
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           It is a good idea to review any insurance policies or other funding that will be used to pay for the services you select. The “right” funeral should not create a financial hardship for family. Have an idea of what you can spend before you meet with the funeral director.
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           Step #5 Choose the person or persons who will go with you to the arrangement conference.
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           Because you have asked the important people for input, it will probably not be necessary to bring the entire group to the conference. You have already included them and will be able to represent their needs.
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           The arrangement conference is an emotional experience. Choose someone who will be helpful to you, who will support you. Bring those who will be attending the arrangement conference with you up to speed regarding the work you have already done. Review the information you have gathered from family members and discuss the budget with this person before your appointment. 
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           Step #6 Prepare for the arrangement conference
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           ·     Review your list from the family members. Get a general idea of what folks want and need. 
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           ·     If your family member served in the Military look for discharge papers DD214
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           ·     Be sure you know about church membership and any organization that may play a part in the funeral service. The Shriners, Knights of Columbus, Free Masons, Legions, are Elks and are just a few of the many organizations that typically honor deceased members.
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           ·     If you plan to use insurance proceeds to fund the funeral service, gather those policies and bring them along to the conference for review.
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           Step #7 Consider how you want to remember the person for whom you are making funeral service arrangements
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           ·     Think about the funeral services your family has experienced in the past. What have they been like? What do you want to repeat and what should be changed for this funeral?
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           ·     How will religious affiliation influence the service? When all the people you are trying to please are members of the same faith group, planning this part of the funeral service is straightforward. You know who will officiate and what the service will include and not include.
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           Not all families have a connection with a church. In fact, religious affiliation in the US has been on the decline the last two decades. For families with no religious connection including a spiritual component in the funeral service can become a little more of a challenge. When there is no formal religious affiliation there are several ways to handle this aspect of the funeral service.
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           1.   First, a spiritual component can be eliminated entirely. A funeral service is often done without a religious component. The life and accomplishments of the deceased can be the core of the service. Focus will be on work, family relationships, connection to the community, hobbies, travels, sports, vocations or avocations of the person who died. This type of service is often referred to as a celebration of life. A celebration of life can stand alone or be included with a religious service.
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           2.   When there is a desire for a spiritual component but there is no obvious spiritual leader, the solution can be as simple as asking a family member or good friend to lead the group in a prayer. This person could also read an appropriate poem or piece of scripture. For those families who prefer to include a clergy person in the ceremony there are other options.
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           Your funeral director will no doubt know of a cleric who is willing to perform a service for persons who are not members of his or her congregation. In order to be sure this person is a good fit for your family, it will be important to think about what you do and do not want included in this part of the service. Share this with your funeral director and ask for guidance in choosing a person who will meet your expectations. When you contact the clergyperson be sure to ask what will be included in the sermon and service. Be sure the tone and content of the service will be a good fit for your situation.
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           In many areas of the country there are funeral celebrants who can be very helpful with putting together all aspects of a funeral service. Ask your funeral director if there is such a person in your community.
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           Step #8 At the Arrangement Conference You’ll Decide
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           ·     The timing of the service
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           A funeral service can take place before or after disposition of the body (burial or cremation). A funeral service that takes place after the body is either buried or cremated is called a memorial service. A memorial service may be selected to comply with religion or because it is preferred by the family.
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            Some religions require that the body be buried or cremated within a brief time period following the death. For this reason, the funeral will take place days or even weeks after the burial has taken place. 
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           Family preference is another reason for the funeral to take place after either cremation or burial. Today many families live at great distances from each other. It may take weeks for travel arrangements to be coordinated and carried out so that everyone can come together for a service. The positive side of being able to delay service and opt for a memorial service is that no one misses out on the benefits of sharing the loss with others in the family circle. Talking out the cause of the death, remembering the good times, being a part of the service are all important steps on the path of reconciling loss of a close family member. All of these are a part of the right funeral service.
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           The downside to delaying service and option for a memorial service can be the length of time between the death and the healing power of gathering and having a service. When the time between the death and service stretches into weeks or months it can present a hardship for some family members. Some people can become paralyzed in moving forward with their grief work.
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           ·     Location of the service
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           Funeral services and memorial services may take place entirely at the funeral home. Funeral homes are clean, company ready, and have ample parking for all types of services. Most have equipment on hand to support any kind of service. Formal, informal, religious, celebration of life, and memorial services can all be accommodated at most funeral homes. Some funeral homes have the ability to host a funeral luncheon or brunch.
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           Funeral directors will also help those who chose to have the religious part of their service at church. For those who want or need to have their funeral service at a club or private location, the funeral director is ready to help facilitate that as well. 
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           ·     Tone and content of the funeral service
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           People have many aspects to their life. Sometimes they are serious, sometimes thoughtful and at times these same folks are playful. A funeral service may include these same kinds of changes in mood. There may be formal serious moments followed by less formal moments of sharing memories. Funerals almost always include both laughter and tears.
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           Step #9 Include Family members in the preparation and planning of the service
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           When you return from the arrangement conference with your funeral director you will have a list of decisions to make and things to do. Look at your list of core people. Who can help? Involving those who are up to helping is good for them and good for you.  Many of the tasks that come with putting together a funeral not only serve the purpose of getting the funeral right, they also help those close to begin a healthy grieving process. Ask for help and delegate tasks. Some things that fall into this category include:
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           ·     Choosing clothing for the deceased
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           ·     Choosing pictures for display or a video
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           ·     Choosing the casket spray and or flowers from the family
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           ·     Contacting out of town family &amp;amp; friends
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           ·     Writing the obituary
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           ·     Writing and or delivering the Eulogy
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           ·     Selecting music
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           ·     Selecting readings
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           ·     Putting together objects for a memory table or display
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           ·     Choosing a venue and menu for the funeral luncheon
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           When you delegate any of these tasks be sure that you share the parameters. What exactly do you need and what are the limits? For example, perhaps the minister has asked that you select three songs for the service. Or, the funeral home will run a loop of thirty-five pictures on a television. Be sure the person you are placing in charge has all the information that they need to do the job correctly. Then step back and let them take over.
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           Remember you are working with people who also loved the person who died. Allow them to express their loss in their way. Understand they will choose differently than you would. Give them the gift of being allowed to participate in putting together a final tribute for the one you all loved.
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           Step #10 Review your plan
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           Before the day of the service take a moment to review what has been planned. Take a look at the first list you made. The one where each of your key people told you what was most important to them. Have you done your best to make sure they are each getting what they need? Is there anything that will take place in the service that is likely to catch a family member or close friend unaware? Is there any conversation you should have with anyone to explain or clarify anything that is planned?
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           Most important be sure the service you have arranged is “right” for you and your family. If the minister always does something that does not seem to fit right for your family speak up. If where you live people “always” have a receiving line or anything that you and your family don’t really like, speak up and change it. Funerals should be helpful and healing. They tend to stick with the closest family members. Make sure what you have planned is what you and your family want and need.
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      <pubDate>Fri, 20 Oct 2023 02:50:14 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/choosing-the-right-funeral-service-10-steps-to-help-you-get-it-right</guid>
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      <title>It’s a Funeral … Go Ahead and CRY</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/its-a-funeral-go-ahead-and-cry</link>
      <description>When it comes to funerals Americans can sometimes feel uncomfortable both shedding tears or observing their flow from a fellow mourner. Perhaps you have attended a funeral and noticed those who need to weep often leave the room? They retire to the restroom or go outside for a breather. Why? What triggers tears? What are tears made of? Is there any benefit to shedding tears?</description>
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           Should Americans get more comfortable with tears? 
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           When it comes to funerals Americans can sometimes feel uncomfortable both shedding tears or observing their flow from a fellow mourner. Perhaps you have attended a funeral and noticed those who need to weep often leave the room? They retire to the restroom or go outside for a breather. Why? What triggers tears? What are tears made of? Is there any benefit to shedding tears?
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           Human beings actually shed, on average, between 15 and 30 gallons of tears each year. Both sexes cry. According to research, women cry an average of 
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           3.5 times
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            per month and men cry an average of 
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           1.9 times
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            a month. Tears are produced by the lacrimal gland located just above the eye. The lacrimal gland receives signals from both the autonomic nervous system and the frontal lobe of the brain. Humans produce three distinct types of tears. Each type has its own trigger, chemical make-up, benefit, and each looks different under a microscope.
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           Basal tears are in the eye all the time. They lubricate, nourish, and protect the cornea. Basal tears shield the eye from dirt and debris. They are made up of a protein-rich antibacterial liquid that helps keep the eyes moist every time a person blinks. Basal tears are not unique to humans, as animals also produce this type of tear. Under a microscope these tears look like delicate branches of a tree or undersea coral.
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           Reflexive tears/onion tears are the tears that are triggered in response to an irritant. Smoke, wind, and chemical irritants trigger these tears. They come in greater quantity than basal tears and contain more antibodies to help fight bacteria. Their job is to flush the eye of the irritating substance. Under a microscope these tears look like a close pattern of dense snowflakes.
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           Emotional tears are our funeral tears. They are also the ones we shed when we hear the national anthem and see our flag waving, watch our grandchild play the flute in her first music recital or score his first soccer goal. Emotional tears are amazing. These tears are unique to humans. They are triggered by the frontal lobe of our brain in response to our human experience. Their chemistry is different. They are thicker than our other tears making them more visible as they make their way down the cheek. These emotional tears contain additional proteins and hormones, they contain a natural pain killer as well as endorphins. Science is catching up to the ancient folk wisdom that says, “you’ll feel better after a good cry”.  Under the microscope these tears actually look different based on the emotion that triggered them. Emotional tears look like fractured glass. (
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           Rose-Lynn Fishe
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           r "The Topography of Tears")
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           People may try to suppress tears if they see them as a sign of weakness, but science suggests that doing so could mean missing out on a range of benefits. There is still much to learn about the science of tears, but newer research indicates:
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           1.   Tears have a self-soothing effect. Shedding tears helps people regulate their own emotions, calm themselves, and reduce their own distress. Crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system which helps people relax.
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           2.   Crying helps people get support from others around them. Human beings are social. Crying is an attachment behavior: it rallies support from people around us and has an interpersonal social benefit. The human body is simply marvelous. Emotional tears literally stick to our face so others can see we need help!
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            3.   Weeping helps to relieve pain. Tears release oxytocin and endorphins. These chemicals make people feel good and may ease both physical and emotional pain and promote a sense of well-being. 
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           4.   Crying may help lift people’s spirits and make them feel better. Oxytocin and endorphins can help improve mood. 
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           Maybe it is time to embrace our tears—or at the very least, respond with a hug and kind words when we see someone at a funeral crying.
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           www.hillsidefuneral.com
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      <pubDate>Sat, 14 Oct 2023 19:47:08 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/its-a-funeral-go-ahead-and-cry</guid>
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      <title>65 or Over: Don’t Be a Fall Statistic</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/65-or-over-dont-be-a-fall-statistic</link>
      <description>According to the CDC, an older adult (age 65+) suffers a fall in the U.S. every second of every day, making falls the leading cause of injury and injury death in this age group.</description>
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           According to the CDC, an older adult (age 65+) suffers a fall in the U.S. every second of every day, making falls the leading cause of injury and injury death in this age group.
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           If you or someone you care about are in this age group, it is time to do a safety assessment and possibly make a few adjustments. 
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           Footwear
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           ·     You are looking for support of the entire foot. Skip the mules, toss the stretched-out loafers, and go for shoes that stabilize the heel of the foot and fit snugly. Shoes that tie and have a non-slip sole are best. If you notice an older person is shuffling, not picking up their feet when they walk, check their shoes. House shoes/slippers should follow the same guidelines as outdoor footwear, closed in heel and non-slip soles.
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           Snow and Ice
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           ·     Can we just say, stay in during bad weather if possible? That means slowing down and doing a cost to benefit assessment before initiating action. Ask yourself, “why am I going out now?” Could the morning paper resting on the ice glazed driveway wait? Perhaps you could give the sun a chance to warm the pavement and melt the ice? What harm would come if you read the morning paper in the afternoon? We are all creatures of habit. We read our paper with our morning coffee; we get the mail from the box every day, sometimes the minute it arrives. Avoiding falls means slowing down, thinking it through, weighing the options and choosing safety over habit. When you do go out take the time to change into your boots, carry a walking stick or cane to help you stabilize, and choose the path that provides the most traction. Be sure someone knows you have gone outside or, if you are alone, take your cell phone with you.
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           Changing Position
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           ·     When moving from lying down (bed) to walking (to the bathroom) take your time. Sit on the edge of the bed, dangle your feet, give your head a moment to catch up to your new position. Then plant your feet squarely on the floor and wait one click before you take off for your destination. When moving from sitting to standing, plant your feet on the floor then push up using your thigh muscles to rise. Hint: Begin to preserve the strength in your thighs. When you reach your early 60s avoid using your arms to assist with getting from sitting to standing. Keep those thigh muscles strong as long as you can. Move. Move. Move.
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           Find a Safety Buddy
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           ·     Lots of seniors are spending more time alone these days. That means that if a fall does occur, they will be on their own. Finding someone who can act as a “safety buddy” for a senior living alone is a good idea. When the senior is going to do something “risky”, climb a ladder, wash windows, carry the Christmas tree to the basement, weed the garden, they would place a call to their safety buddy letting him or her know what they are going to do. The two would work together to determine how much time it will take to complete the task. The senior can pledge to call his buddy back when he has completed the dangerous task. That way if a fall occurs and the buddy doesn’t get his call back he will know to check in and get help if needed. Better yet, get help with dangerous tasks!
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           Keep Moving
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           ·     Inside or outside, keep moving and doing. Take a walk and take your phone with you. Walk your well-behaved dog. If you are a couch potato, clean up the space that surrounds you. Have you put too much of your stuff right at your fingertips so that you don’t need to move? Are you limiting your movement too much? If you are an impulsive/quick mover, slow down but do not stop. Keep your eye on where you are going when you move. Observe your surroundings and avoid the cracks in the sidewalk and the bumps in the road.
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           Accidents are not planned. They always come unexpectedly. Listen to the little voice in your gut or head. When it says something should wait, or you should get help, or what you are considering doing is risky - LISTEN. Resist the temptation to overrule that inner warning. Look for a safer way to complete the task or work on finding someone to help you.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 07 Oct 2023 15:54:00 GMT</pubDate>
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      <title>Grief is Real</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/grief-is-real</link>
      <description>According to the Mayo Clinic, grief is “the natural reaction to loss. Grief is both a universal and a personal experience. Individual experiences of grief vary and are influenced by the nature of the loss.”</description>
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           According to the Mayo Clinic, grief is “the natural reaction to loss. Grief is both a universal and a personal experience. Individual experiences of grief vary and are influenced by the nature of the loss.”
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           There is a lot in the sentence above. Take a moment and let it all sink in. Grief is “natural.” It is not weakness. Grief is “universal.” Everyone feels grief. “Individual experiences of grief vary.” We all do grief in our own way.
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           Grief is most often thought of as the emotional response to loss. But it is more than just emotional. Grief also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, and spiritual manifestations. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Many psychologists tell us there is no way to avoid grief. There is no way around grief, only through. They counsel that to move beyond the pain of loss a person must feel grief.
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           Why does grief hurt? The source of the pain is found in the nature of the loss. We are accustomed to thinking of grief as the feeling we have when we have lost someone we loved. But grief can also occur because you have lost someone who loved you. A parent, child, sibling, partner, or friend who really got you. Someone who made you feel loved. That love may have been something you felt every day, or it may have been a subtle rudder to your life. A love you just knew was there even though you did not hear its voice daily. Sometimes the loss is not only the loss of someone we loved, but it is also a loss of the incoming love we received from that person.
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           Grief may also be triggered by a loss of purpose. When a child dies the mother no longer serves that mother role. When a husband leaves the wife is no longer a wife. When a person has been a caregiver and the person they cared for dies, the caregiver role is lost. It can be confusing for the person feeling this “loss of purpose” grief. Intellectually, a former caregiver may feel relieved their loved one is no longer suffering and may be dismayed at their own feelings of sadness. When providing care has filled a person’s day, loss of the caregiving role leaves a hole in their life. The feeling is grief.
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           Death, divorce, and break-ups all trigger loss. That can be loss of the future that the one left behind planned to have with the person who is gone. Loss of hope. With the death, divorce, or break-up comes the end of the hope of a cure or of making the relationship work. Gone is the hope of growing old together. Even if the loss occurs after the love has gone, there is emotional pain, grief.
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           Grief is difficult work. No one can expect to avoid the experience of grief. When the loss—and the grief that comes with it—is associated with a death, we have rituals anchored in thousands of years of tradition to help us. Funerals exist only because our collective experience as human beings have shown us that coming together, sharing our love of the deceased, and getting and giving a hug provides comfort and helps us as we begin the grief journey.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 30 Sep 2023 18:21:16 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/grief-is-real</guid>
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      <title>My Spouse Died: Do I Really Need to Wait a Year to Move?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/my-spouse-died-do-i-really-need-to-wait-a-year-to-move</link>
      <description>Nearly all experts say to wait at least six months to a year after a death or divorce before making big lifestyle changes like moving. Sometimes it is just not possible to allow yourself that much time. When that is the case, understanding the thinking behind this advice may help one avoid the pitfalls of making a quick move.</description>
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           Nearly all experts say to wait at least six months to a year after a death or divorce before making big lifestyle changes like moving. Sometimes it is just not possible to allow yourself that much time. When that is the case, understanding the thinking behind this advice may help one avoid the pitfalls of making a quick move.
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           When a person loses a spouse, it changes everything. If it was a long marriage the survivor has been functioning as a half of a team for such a long time that making decisions alone is a totally new skill. In a marriage of shorter duration loss of a spouse manifests as loss of a future. It can feel like you do not know where you are going. In either case, adjusting to the new reality is a daunting task in and of itself. 
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           Moving a household is third in the top three life stressors. Numbers one and two on that list are death of a spouse and divorce. That is why experts never suggest you take on moving when you have lost a spouse if it can be avoided. Moving is putting stress on top of stress.
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           However, sometimes there is not a choice. When that is the case, understand you will not be thinking as clearly as you normally would. You will also be tired; grieving takes a lot of energy. Consider taking smaller, less permanent steps. Perhaps rent instead of buying a home. If you can, stay near your old home. That will mean less change. You will not be totally lost. You can shop at the same grocery and go to the same doctor. You will be able to continue activities and see friends.
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           Moving always means packing and sorting belongings. That is a tall order under normal conditions; add grieving to the mix and it may feel overwhelming. Ask for help or hire help. If you can swing it, rent storage for six months and give yourself the gift of time. When you have lost the person you loved, objects associated with that person take on a heightened importance. Lightening your load to make a smaller space work for you or just to make the move itself more affordable may be overwhelming. If you can afford the luxury of putting off difficult sorting decisions, consider it money well spent. Be kind to yourself.
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           When it comes to the larger furniture pieces, plan carefully. The big stuff usually has less emotion attached to it and it is the costliest to move. Measure your sofa, bed, and dining table. Go to your proposed new space and tape off the space where you plan to place these large objects. If the sofa is going to be too large do not move it, sell or donate instead. Use the dollars you save on moving to purchase pieces that fit your new space.
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           The important thing is that you are able to rest and relax in your new space. That will not be possible if it is stuffed with too many items. You need room to breathe. You don’t need to feel overwhelmed by objects.
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           Most importantly, ask for help and accept offers of help. Be specific about what you need your helpers to do. Let go. No one will do everything exactly as you would. Lean in, take a deep breath, eat healthy, and rest.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 23 Sep 2023 15:44:49 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/my-spouse-died-do-i-really-need-to-wait-a-year-to-move</guid>
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      <title>Thinking About Skipping the Funeral?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/thinking-about-skipping-the-funeral</link>
      <description>Are you considering going to a funeral? Will you be a guest or, are you the survivor in charge and deciding if there will even be a funeral? Either way, before you just skip the funeral perhaps you should consider how elephants behave when one of their species dies. Perhaps we have something to learn from Dumbo.</description>
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            Are you considering going to a funeral? Will you be a guest or, are you the survivor in charge and deciding if there will even be a funeral? Either way, before you just skip the funeral perhaps you should consider how elephants behave when one of their species dies. Perhaps we have something to learn from Dumbo. 
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           First of all, elephants are very busy mammals. Just like us, they have to work hard to keep life together. An elephant needs to spend nearly 20 hours per day looking for and eating food. However, they do take time to honor their dead. It is rare to see an elephant in the wild stand still. However, when they happen upon the remains of an elephant, they seem to understand they need to stop and take a minute to pay homage.   
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            Elephants have a natural curiosity about death. They seem to understand that somehow death is connected to their own existence. They use their trunks to fondle the bones of the deceased. They are still and strangely quiet. They raise one foot and paw the air, they are gentle, and they shed tears. 
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           Elephants, like humans, have very strong social bonds. They help one another. A funeral is an opportunity for people to gather and be still. It is our opportunity to pay homage to our human existence. It’s a safe place to shed a tear, give a hug, or tell a story. A funeral, in any one of many forms, is an opportunity to reach out to our fellow man and give or receive help and comfort. 
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            There is still a lot of debate regarding whether or not elephants feel emotion. Some think yes and others are equally convinced emotion is exclusive to humans. So maybe we humans should embrace our emotion and just feel it? Having a funeral doesn’t make you sad. You are sad because someone has died. That sad emotion won’t go away just because you skip the funeral. The funeral is actually the first step in the long journey to feeling better.   
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      <pubDate>Sat, 16 Sep 2023 17:00:56 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/thinking-about-skipping-the-funeral</guid>
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      <title>Leaving Something in the Casket</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/leaving-something-in-the-casket</link>
      <description>The practice of sending a deceased loved one off with objects from this earthly life is as old as mankind. Ancient Egyptians believed when a person died, they passed into “the afterlife.” Burial goods paralleled objects used in life because it was believed these same objects would be needed in the afterlife. Burial goods included food, drink, tools, make-up, jewelry, pots, gold, and the like.</description>
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           The practice of sending a deceased loved one off with objects from this earthly life is as old as mankind. Ancient Egyptians believed when a person died, they passed into “the afterlife.” Burial goods paralleled objects used in life because it was believed these same objects would be needed in the afterlife. Burial goods included food, drink, tools, make-up, jewelry, pots, gold, and the like. 
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           Even though few people today believe anything placed in the casket will be used by the deceased in the afterlife the practice of placing objects in the casket is alive and well. Possibly it is because letting go of someone we love is so hard, we find comfort in sending something along with the deceased and keeping something that belonged to the deceased for ourselves.
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           Most casket manufacturers offer caskets that include a small compartment for mementos family members may want to place with their loved one. Many people like to put a personal note in the compartment. A note can allow mourners to express their emotions or to share a thank you or even to say they are sorry or to express forgiveness for a wrongdoing. Grandchildren often like to put a drawing or love note in the little drawer of the casket. Sometimes it is wedding rings or even a golf ball that are buried with the person who died. What goes into the casket is as varied and individual as the person who has died and the family that loved them.
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           When we humans lose a wife or husband, mother or father, son or daughter, brother or sister, or dear friend, a hole is created in our life. The space that person held in our life is empty. Still, the love we had for them is not gone. Grieving is difficult and lasts for a good while. Anything that eases the pain, even a little, is good and welcome. Sending something off with the loved one is one way we find comfort. Another is to keep something - a remembrance.
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           Funeral homes usually offer a wide range of funeral goods for this purpose. There are teddy bears made from a grandfather’s flannel shirt or a gold or silver thumb print that can be worn on a chain or on a bracelet. For those who are cremated there is a whole line of cremation jewelry. These pieces will typically hold a small portion of the ashes.  All one need do is ask their funeral director what is available. The answer will most likely reveal a wide variety of comforting options.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 09 Sep 2023 00:57:06 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/leaving-something-in-the-casket</guid>
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      <title>Why Children Should be Included in a Funeral</title>
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      <description>When a child falls and scuffs a knee, we kiss the boo-boo. A boo-boo kiss doesn’t really make the injury “all better” but, it is an important first step. It acknowledges the injury. The child is comforted that an adult is in charge. They know they are not alone. The hurt knee might need stitches, or it might just need some soap and water and a super hero bandage. Either way, the boo-boo kiss is the first step to things falling into order.</description>
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             When a child falls and scuffs a knee, we kiss the boo-boo. A boo-boo kiss doesn’t really make the injury “all better” but, it is an important first step. It acknowledges the injury. The child is comforted that an adult is in charge. They know they are not alone. The hurt knee might need stitches, or it might just need some soap and water and a super hero bandage. Either way, the boo-boo kiss is the first step to things falling into order. 
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            A funeral is like a boo-boo kiss. Everyone needs to start somewhere when someone in the family dies. The funeral, regardless of its form, acknowledges that life has changed for everyone. Gathering together provides an opportunity to give and receive comfort. It provides an opportunity to share memories. The child can see that he is not alone in his feelings of sadness. The funeral is for all family, friends, and, yes, the kids. 
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            Psychocologytoday.com suggests that children be asked if they wish to attend the funeral. The child chooses. This means an adult should be able to tell the child what she can expect so the choice is an informed one. 
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           When children are a part of the family experiencing loss, they should be considered from the very beginning of funeral preparations. Those family members making arrangements, should ask the funeral director about how children will be accommodated. Ask about a family lounge where kids may take a break. Ask if you can bring snacks for the younger ones.   
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            The adults in charge should be sure they have all the information needed so they can properly prepare the children in the family. A funeral isn’t easy, it does not make the loss less acute, and nothing can make it “all better.” A funeral is an important first step to a healthy adjustment to loss. Kids should be included to the extent they wish to be. 
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      <pubDate>Sat, 02 Sep 2023 16:54:12 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/why-children-should-be-included-in-a-funeral</guid>
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      <title>When Your Parent Loses Their Spouse</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/when-your-parent-loses-their-spouse</link>
      <description>“And the two shall be as one” just rolls off our tongue. But think about it. What does it mean to the one who lives when their partner has died? Are they now a half? Families are interesting in that we tend to “know” our family member as their role relates to us. Mom is mom, dad is dad. We kids typically don’t really see the couple side, or the work side, or the friend side of our parents.</description>
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           “And the two shall be as one” just rolls off our tongue. But think about it. What does it mean to the one who lives when their partner has died? Are they now a half? Families are interesting in that we tend to “know” our family member as their role relates to us. Mom is mom, dad is dad. We kids typically don’t really see the couple side, or the work side, or the friend side of our parents. 
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           So how must it feel to lose your life partner? Try to step into your parent’s shoes. Pretty quickly in a marriage the jobs are assigned. She does the laundry, he cooks the dinner, she manages the household budget, and he manages the retirement plan. Sure, they have separate interests but look at all those shared interests. Are they lost with this death? What happens to their couple activities? Do friends still invite them for bridge or to join the bowling team when they become a single? Life changes drastically when death parts a couple.
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           If your parent begins to date, it is not so easy to move from your point of view to understanding and accepting theirs. For a child it may feel too soon, like your living parent is replacing your deceased parent. Perhaps this new wife or husband is stepping in a way that you thought you would. She is going to the doctor’s appointments with dad or cooking dad dinner when you expected to fill that role. He is mowing mom’s lawn with dad’s lawn mower no less! It’s hard.
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           Consider working on changing the way you look at this budding relationship. How hard would it be to live as a half when you have been married for 35, 50, or even 60 years? Maybe this new relationship is a search for the happiness they had with your deceased parent? Try to understand that as we age, time really is limited and precious. And honestly…maybe they can’t wait. Maybe they need a partner, or another half, to be whole again. 
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      <pubDate>Sat, 26 Aug 2023 16:59:57 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/when-your-parent-loses-their-spouse</guid>
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      <title>Memorializing an Avid Gardener</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/memorializing-an-avid-gardener</link>
      <description>When a life ends, we remember. We remember the love, the bonds, and the passions of the person who died. A well put-together funeral that honors the life, faith, and relationships of the deceased is the first foothold on the path of healing for survivors.</description>
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           When a life ends, we remember. We remember the love, the bonds, and the passions of the person who died. A well put-together funeral that honors the life, faith, and relationships of the deceased is the first foothold on the path of healing for survivors.
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           Funerals that reflect a person’s interests can be powerful. They provide comfort for the family left behind. Funerals help change the focus from the cause of death, to the life that was lived. That remembering is comforting. So how can a family weave their mother or father’s love of gardening into the funeral service?
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           Be it a love of growing vegetables, flowers, or both, there are hundreds of ways to reflect a person’s passion for gardening in a funeral service. A few ideas follow:
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           ·     Get that great picture of your gardener wearing their favorite gardening hat, face streaked with dirt and trowel in hand. Blow it up LARGE and display it during the visitation or memorial.
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           ·     Ask friends and family to bring a small potted flower or plant in lei of traditional funeral flower arrangements and have a plant swap … those who attend the funeral can take home a plant to grow in their own garden in remembrance of the gardener.
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           ·     Use your gardener’s favorite flowers or an arrangement of vegetables as the casket spray
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           ·     If you really want to go big, consider what florists can do for weddings and talk to yours about bringing a garden to the church or funeral home.
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           ·     Give a packet of seeds or a pair of garden gloves as a favor to funeral attendees
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           ·     Include a garden-themed poem in the funeral service
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           ·     Have a memorial tree planted at your local arboretum to honor your loved one.
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           ·     Ask your funeral director to help you find funeral products that reflect that love of all things gardening to support the service choices you have made.
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           The ideas above are just a short list of possibilities. There are many more, you just need to do two things. First, be open. Think about that person you love, talk with the others who loved them. Ask yourself, “how do we showcase that gardening passion in the funeral or memorial service?” Second, ask for help. Tell your funeral director what you want to do. Challenge him to either be creative or help you connect with other professionals in your community who can support your goal. Your funeral director wants you and your family to have the absolute best, most meaningful funeral service. He or she is there to help you, just ask.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 19 Aug 2023 18:17:47 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/memorializing-an-avid-gardener</guid>
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      <title>Attending a Lot of Funerals</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/attending-a-lot-of-funerals</link>
      <description>Funerals are beautiful celebrations of life that allow us to say goodbye to people we loved. But there may come a time when attending a funeral is sadly no longer a rare occurrence. Having to attend many funerals can be overwhelming, instigating feelings of grief for many different loved ones. What can you do to help yourself when attending too many funerals becomes overpowering?</description>
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           Funerals are beautiful celebrations of life that allow us to say goodbye to people we loved. But there may come a time when attending a funeral is sadly no longer a rare occurrence. Having to attend many funerals can be overwhelming, instigating feelings of grief for many different loved ones. What can you do to help yourself when attending too many funerals becomes overpowering?
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           What to Do When You’re Attending Many Funerals
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           Recognize that you can only do so much.
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           A funeral can be a celebration for someone who has passed, but it’s also a chance to be there for those who remain. Especially if you were very close to the person who passed, you’d naturally want to do all you can for the people they loved. That desire comes from a good place, but when you’re attending a lot of funerals, you may quickly find yourself overextended. Wanting to help is admirable, but remember that you’re experiencing much grief right now. It’s not easy to lose so many people you love in a short amount of time. Taking care of yourself is essential too.
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           Consider speaking to someone.
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           Especially if you’ve reached an age where many of your friends are no longer with you, talking to a mental health professional is vital. You’re experiencing grief, but so many funerals can also trigger some thoughts about your own passing. While talking to your family may be helpful, a mental health professional with experience helping others overcome grief can guide you through the tough questions. Depending on how your loved ones passed, you might also want to work with a professional with particular experience, such as one who works with people whose loved ones passed from advanced age or terminal illness.
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           Know that it’s okay to decline.
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           Attending a funeral allows you to pay tribute to someone you loved. But that’s not to say that it’s the only way. When you’re going to many funerals, you may become overwhelmed. You’re grieving too, and losing so many people one after another is heartbreaking. Sometimes, a funeral is too much when you’re already emotionally exhausted. If you find it too difficult to go to another funeral, write a letter of condolence to the remaining family. You may want to explain the situation, but you don’t need to present your emotional state. It’s more important to spend the letter talking about the person you and they are missing. Talk about how much you loved them and what they meant to you. If you’re feeling up to it, you can offer support to the remaining family, but if not, it’s enough to say that you’re sorry for their loss and that their loved one will be greatly missed.
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           Spend more time with the ones you love.
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           You may find yourself thinking about your own mortality when you’re attending a lot of funerals. It’s natural to have questions and worries, especially if you’re of an age where it’s hard to know how much time is left. A big part of enjoying the time we have is spending it with those who matter to us. Especially after losing many people very quickly, you should try to remind yourself that you’re still not alone. There are people out there who love you and who you love back. You may feel lonely after losing so many loved ones, but combatting loneliness starts with recognizing that it’s never too late to forge deeper bonds in our lives.
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           Don’t mask your thoughts.
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           Losing loved ones, especially many in a short time, can trigger symptoms of anxiety, such as racing thoughts. Many people try to cover their thoughts, searching for distractions. But those distractions only mask the symptom rather than treating the root of the problem. Refusing to recognize your thoughts only makes them fester, which can worsen anxiety. Instead, spend time with your thoughts and learn how to cope with them. Find ways to address your anxious thoughts. Working through a plan with your mental health professional is a good way to combat how you’re feeling properly. Some methods of managing anxious thoughts that may help include taking time every day to write out how you’re feeling, doing deep breathing exercises, or having a daily session of either walking or sitting meditation.
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           For many of us, once we reach a certain age, we’ll sadly begin attending many funerals. But whether that stage in your life comes tragically early or much later on, you must take care of yourself. Grief is a sneaky emotion. Taking care of your mental health can help prevent it from becoming too overwhelming. Even still, it’s okay to miss people. You’re going to miss talking to them, seeing their smiles, hearing their voice, and all the little things that they brought to the world that made it a brighter place. Nothing takes away the pain of losing them, but working with a mental health professional and continuing to live each day in the best way possible can make the world feel a little less dark without them.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 12 Aug 2023 14:06:25 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/attending-a-lot-of-funerals</guid>
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      <title>Burial Vault: What’s the Point?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/burial-vault-whats-the-point</link>
      <description>Historically speaking, burial vaults were conceived as a means of protection from grave robbers. They were designed and intended to make it difficult to get into the coffin and remove valuables or even the body itself from the grave. Early vaults were made of wood and were called a “rough box” because they were rustic and unfinished in comparison to the more finely finished coffin.</description>
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           Historically speaking, burial vaults were conceived as a means of protection from grave robbers. They were designed and intended to make it difficult to get into the coffin and remove valuables or even the body itself from the grave. Early vaults were made of wood and were called a “rough box” because they were rustic and unfinished in comparison to the more finely finished coffin. 
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           In the late 1800s grave liners were in common use. These were made of brick on site at the cemetery. Bricks were fashioned right in the grave literally lining the grave space. Over time the concept of protection expanded to include protection from the elements. Family members became interested in protecting the casket or coffin from water, critters, and decomposition in general. Many families today consider “how” they care for a deceased family member to be a reflection of their love for that person and point of family pride.
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           When burial is selected as the final disposition of the body the deceased is most often placed in a casket. The difference between a coffin and a casket is the shape. A coffin is six-sided, it is wider toward the top third to accommodate the shoulders of the body and tapers to the foot. More commonly used in the U.S. is the rectangularly shaped casket. Caskets are most often made of wood or metal.
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           Wood caskets can be made of any species of wood and may be finished with ornate carving or may be very simple. The easiest way to understand the difference in cost of wooden caskets is to apply what you know about furniture. Solid mahogany will cost more than a veneer of pine. Many caskets are also made of metal. Carbon steel, stainless steel, copper, or bronze are all used. The cost and durability of a metal casket is directly related to the material from which the casket is made. 
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           Burial in a cemetery usually requires an outer burial container. A grave liner or a vault is almost universally required by every cemetery to protect the casket and the integrity of the grave space from the weight of the earth and the heavy equipment that will pass over the grave in order to provide routine maintenance of the property. Grave liners are no longer constructed on site and made of bricks. They are most often made of concrete. Grave liners do not seal. A vault can be made of concrete or fiberglass, with or without a metal liner. Vaults will have a seal. 
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           At this point you may be thinking, “who cares?” Well that is the thing, many people do care, and they care deeply. Others do not. This is the reason why the trip to the casket selection space at the funeral home and the process of helping a family make a choice that fits their values and budget is sensitive. Open communication regarding values and budget is essential. Funeral directors are there to help, answer questions, and explain differences. They educate and the family chooses.
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           So, what is the point of the vault? The point will vary from one family to the next. For some the point will be to satisfy the cemetery requirement as frugally as possible. For others the point will be to protect the integrity of the grave as much as possible. It is a matter of personal choice.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 05 Aug 2023 16:45:04 GMT</pubDate>
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      <title>Where Not to Scatter Cremated Remains</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/where-not-to-scatter-cremated-remains</link>
      <description>For many folks the absolute “best” final resting place is someplace they loved when they were alive. Their “burial” plan is not to be buried at all, but to be cremated and have their ashes scattered at a special location. For those who prefer scattering there are a wide variety of options available. Still, not every scattering idea is a good idea. To help you determine if your scattering plan is a good plan be sure to consider these four things.</description>
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           For many folks the absolute “best” final resting place is someplace they loved when they were alive. Their “burial” plan is not to be buried at all, but to be cremated and have their ashes scattered at a special location. For those who prefer scattering there are a wide variety of options available. Still, not every scattering idea is a good idea. To help you determine if your scattering plan is a good plan be sure to consider these four things.
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           1.   Think about the location of your choice. Is it legal and will it work? With permission from the owner of the golf course ashes could be scattered. Without permission scattering on private property that belongs to someone else is not legal and may not go smoothly.
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           2.   As you put together your plan keep in mind scattering does not eliminate emotion. Family members tasked with scattering a loved one’s ashes experience the same emotions as those who stand at the graveside and watch the casket being lowered into the ground. No amount of creativity in the selection of the location will eliminate the emotion of the task.
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           3.   You need a plan. “Just scatter me” is not a plan, it is a shift of responsibility. Someone in your family is going to be required to figure out when and where this scattering will take place if you do not.
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           4.   Seek professional advice. Your funeral director can help you plan and prepare for a successful scattering.
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           Scattering at sea
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           There are laws. Federal law protects the oceans. See United States Environmental Protection Agency Burial at Sea for detailed policy information. Scattering in the ocean must take place at least three miles from shore, the ashes can go in, the container may not. That is unless it is biodegradable, then both the container and its contents can be commissioned to the sea. The expense of purchasing a proper biodegradable cremation urn is money well spent. The sea will be moving, maybe a little, or maybe even a lot. A smooth operation is critical to everyone feeling good about the dignity of the ceremony. Your funeral director can help you find a proper container for scattering at sea.
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           Consider using an offshore scattering service instead of a friend with a boat for the actual ceremony. A service gives your family the benefit of experience. They will know how to position the boat in relation to the wind and waves in order to assure a pleasant experience. Professionals will also be prepared for the needs of the family on board. They will not be surprised or unprepared for sea sickness of guests. Your funeral director is your best resource for finding this kind of service. 
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           Scattering on public lands
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           States have jurisdiction over public lands and waterways within their boundaries. Laws vary widely from state to state. Be sure to ask your funeral director about the laws in your state. Seek advice and take care to be sure the scattering ceremony your family has planned will not run into an embarrassing roadblock midway into the ceremony. Share your plan and ask for the professional advice of your funeral director.
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           Scattering on private property
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           Scattering on private property requires the permission of the property owner. Resist the temptation to skip the permission step. Scattering on property that is not your own without permission is a recipe for disaster. 
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           In addition to giving careful consideration to the scattering location it is always a good idea to consider the feelings of the mourners. It is easy to move forward with the desire of the deceased to be scattered and still satisfy the needs of mourners who may not be entirely comfortable with scattering. All that is required is good communication. Talk to your family about your plan well in advance. Find out who is and who may not be comfortable with your desire.
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           One of the lovely things about cremation is that the ashes can easily be divided. A family member can retain a small portion of the remains in a keepsake urn, garden bench, paperweight or even a piece of cremation jewelry. The remainder can then be scattered according to the wishes of the deceased. 
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           One final consideration if you are thinking of leaving your family scattering instructions -be sure to think it through. Consider how your desire will play out for at least the next two or three generations. Will your beloved garden still be in the family? Or might the property be sold? Who will keep the urn after your wife dies, how about after your daughter dies? Think about how those who mourn you may be impacted by your desire to be scattered.
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           www.hillsidefuneral.com
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      <pubDate>Sat, 29 Jul 2023 14:31:51 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/where-not-to-scatter-cremated-remains</guid>
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      <title>My Financial Advisor Doesn’t Think It’s a Good Idea to Preplan My Funeral</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/my-financial-advisor-doesnt-think-its-a-good-idea-to-preplan-my-funeral</link>
      <description>The butcher, the baker, the candle stick maker. Does anyone go to the butcher for a candle? Would anyone even think of asking the funeral director for investment advice?  The financial advisor, while very knowledgeable about money and investments, has little experience in helping a family honor the life of someone they love. Yesterday you could hold the hand of your loved one, today you must figure out how to say good-bye.  Tomorrow you will begin the difficult task of living without the one you love. In the midst of all of this you will need to plan and pay for a funeral service. Helping families navigate those difficult days or to plan for this inevitable event is the job of the funeral director.</description>
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           The butcher, the baker, the candle stick maker. Does anyone go to the butcher for a candle? Would anyone even think of asking the funeral director for investment advice? The financial advisor, while very knowledgeable about money and investments, has little experience in helping a family honor the life of someone they love. Yesterday you could hold the hand of your loved one, today you must figure out how to say good-bye. Tomorrow you will begin the difficult task of living without the one you love. In the midst of all of this you will need to plan and pay for a funeral service. Helping families navigate those difficult days or to plan for this inevitable event is the job of the funeral director.
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           Accessing the dollars to pay for a funeral is where the financial planner can help. A financial planner who is familiar with a family’s financial resources can help them decide how and when to pay for a funeral. In a perfect world the investor, that’s you, would not die on a day the market was down, or just as his stocks were on the rise. He would die when it is a good time to take the cost of his funeral out of his investments. His heirs would not be burdened with tax consequences. Truth be told, life just does not always work out perfectly. We do not decide when we die.
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           This is what you can do. Plan the funeral with your funeral director. Talk to her about service options that will help your family cope with your loss. Talk to her about how much you are comfortable spending. Become educated about the advance payment options that are offered through the funeral home.
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           Ask if you can pay for your funeral in monthly payments over a few years. Ask what happens if you die before you complete all payments. Many funeral homes fund funerals with insurance products designed just to pay for funerals. That can mean the funeral will be paid for by the insurance company should death occur before your payments are completed. 
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           Ask what happens if the cost of your funeral increases between now and when you die. Is there protection available for funeral inflation? 
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           Talk to your spouse. If you die first, who will pay for the funeral? Where will the money come from? Will there be tax consequences? Would it be easier for the one who will be responsible if the funeral plan were funded? Decide what will work best for your family.
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           Now, go to your financial advisor. Ask him if you should pay for your funeral in one single payment now, or should you take advantage of one of the payment plans? Share all the information you receive from the funeral home. Get financial advice, not permission, from the one who looks through the lens of the dollars, the financial advisor. Get your funeral planning advice from the one who helps families cope with death, the funeral director. Make your decisions for the ones you love, with the ones you love, your family.
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      <pubDate>Fri, 21 Jul 2023 04:12:59 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/my-financial-advisor-doesnt-think-its-a-good-idea-to-preplan-my-funeral</guid>
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      <title>Should I Go to the Funeral?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/should-i-go-to-the-funeral</link>
      <description>Why should you attend a funeral? The presence of family and friends at the funeral is appreciated. We gather to acknowledge a life that was lived. We gather to comfort those for whom life has just been forever changed by the death of someone they loved.</description>
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           Why should you attend a funeral? The presence of family and friends at the funeral is appreciated. We gather to acknowledge a life that was lived. We gather to comfort those for whom life has just been forever changed by the death of someone they loved.
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           If you care for one or more of the survivors, you should attend the funeral (even if you did not know the person who died). Your friend will appreciate your presence. Being there shows that you acknowledge that your friend’s life has changed in some way. Your presence shows your support.
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           If you knew the person who died but do not know their family, you should attend the funeral. Your presence demonstrates your respect for human life in general and the life of the person who died in particular. Perhaps you worked with the person who died. It is comforting for the surviving family to know the person they loved was also appreciated at work. 
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           If you are hesitating because you are unfamiliar with the person’s faith and fear you will embarrass yourself or feel like a fish out of water, go anyway. You will be fine. You can prepare a little in advance by looking for some information online about the funeral customs of the family’s faith. 
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           When should you stay home? Anytime you are going to a funeral and you know it will make one or more members of the immediate family uncomfortable, perhaps you shouldn’t go. If going is more about you and less about the deceased or the surviving family, don’t go. A funeral is not a place to prove a point.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 15 Jul 2023 16:44:33 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/should-i-go-to-the-funeral</guid>
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      <title>Moving on (Too) Quickly for Others</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/moving-on-too-quickly-for-others</link>
      <description>What does grief look like? You might be thinking now about the five stages: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But what happens when someone goes out of order, skips a step, or doesn’t go through them at all? Although you may think it’s a sign that something is wrong, the truth is that we all experience grief in different ways. And someone may move through grief faster than someone else.</description>
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            What does grief look like? You might be thinking now about the
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           five stages
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           : anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But what happens when someone goes out of order, skips a step, or doesn’t go through them at all? Although you may think it’s a sign that something is wrong, the truth is that we all experience grief in different ways. And someone may move through grief faster than someone else.
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           First things first, forget what you know about grief.
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            In 1969, in her book On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the
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           Kübler-Ross mode
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           l, which became known as the five stages of grief. And although we typically associate this model with describing how we grieve someone’s death, that’s not actually what it was made for. It’s meant to give structure to how someone comes to terms with being diagnosed with a terminal illness. The five stages of grief were never about grieving a loved one’s death.
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           However, other studies have tried to apply the model to grieving a loved one, only to find that it doesn’t really work the way that people believe it does. A 1981 study that looked at individuals who had been widowed for various lengths of time found that the pain and stress of widowhood persisted for years, with no subjects falling into particular stages at certain times, as the five stages of grief suggested they would. A 2002 study took a look at people before and after their spouses’ deaths and found that only 11 percent followed the Kübler-Ross model’s trajectory.
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           So, if the five stages of grief aren’t scientifically accurate, why do we hold onto this idea that there’s a “right” way to grieve? When a daughter loses a father, is she wrong to go back to work the same week? When a husband loses a wife, is he wrong to be on a dating app by the end of the year? Perhaps yes and perhaps no. But these feelings are personal. And although you may imagine that you’d grieve in a certain way if you lost someone close to you, you cannot know what their grief is like.
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           What should you do if someone you love is moving on “too” quickly?
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            ﻿
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           One thing that should be considered before you try to intervene when you think someone is moving on very quickly is whether or not they are really moving on at all. In the case of a daughter going back to work, she might not be trying to move on. She might simply be looking for a distraction because being at home is too painful. In which case, be kind and don’t remind her of her loss. Be a friend, let her talk to you about her loss if she wants to, and otherwise be someone she can turn to when she needs to take her mind off grief or funeral planning. Although she may look like she’s moving on quickly on the outside, she might still be grieving, just in a different way from your personal grieving process.
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           But what about a husband who is looking to remarry soon after losing his spouse? Men are significantly more likely to begin dating after being widowed, and they’re more likely to do it sooner as well. After 25 months following the loss of a spouse, 61 percent of men are in a new relationship, compared to just 19 percent of women. So, do most men then move on too quickly? Regardless of gender, people who remarry after their spouse’s death report lower levels of depression and greater life satisfaction and well-being than those who don’t. But because men are more likely to have fewer friends than women, husbands often rely on their wives as their primary source of emotional and social support. When a wife dies, a husband may suddenly feel cut off from those crucial outlets, which propels him into the dating world sooner than a woman who lost her husband.
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           Should you intervene if someone you love is looking for love after losing their spouse? If you’re very close, you may consider voicing your concerns, but keep in mind what they gain in their life by remarrying. The thing about moving on is that it’s taking steps to keep living. It doesn’t mean that there’s no grief remaining. A person who loses a spouse needs to learn to live without them, but they still will miss their presence. And if that person remarries, it doesn’t mean that they’re replacing their spouses, nor are they trying to forget their spouse and all the memories they made together. They’re just searching for more fulfillment in their lives, and for many people, that includes learning to love again.
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           Ultimately, only one person can decide if they’re ready to move on, and that’s the person who lost their loved one. If you think you’re ready to move on in terms of dating again, it’s important to ask yourself if you feel prepared for this new change. Can you let someone else into your life? Can you love your new partner the way they deserve to be loved? If you know wholeheartedly that you can, you’re ready. But no one else can answer those questions but you. And if you’re seeing someone you love move on in a way that you don’t think you could or would, remember that you’re not the one who experienced their grief. Only they know what their grief is like and whether they’re ready to move on. All you can do is be there for them as they try to make this new transition in their life.
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           www.hillsidefuneral.com
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      <pubDate>Sat, 08 Jul 2023 19:38:02 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/moving-on-too-quickly-for-others</guid>
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      <title>It's Not Really a Funeral Plan if it's Not at the Funeral Home</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/it-s-not-really-a-funeral-plan-if-it-s-not-at-the-funeral-home</link>
      <description>Can I just say that funerals stick in the mind of a loved one years after a death? It’s important that you get it right. Please don’t put your wishes in the drawer with the rest of your files. Oh, and that thing where you tell the kids what you want. That’s not the best either.</description>
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           It's Not Really a Funeral Plan if it's Not at the Funeral Home
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           Can I just say that funerals stick in the mind of a loved one years after a death? It’s important that you get it right. Please don’t put your wishes in the drawer with the rest of your files. Oh, and that thing where you tell the kids what you want. That’s not the best either.   
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           Here’s what often happens: 
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           The plan in the file - It might be part of the estate plan or stuck in with the financial advisor’s paperwork, or just written on some paper. It is highly likely that it will not be found until well after the funeral is over. In the hours following a death there are literally more than a hundred things to do. Trust me, I’ve seen the lists. People count this stuff. I know because I’ve just been through it myself. There is a lot to do over a short period of time when someone dies. Your family will not be going through the files.   
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           They will not know you wanted to wear your blue dress and that you wanted The Wind Beneath My Wings sung at your funeral. They just won’t. So, imagine the anguish when they find your “plan” two weeks after the funeral service is over.   
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            Imagine how they are going to feel when they realize they buried you in the wrong dress and sang the wrong song. Terrible. That’s how they will feel. Sadly, they’ll feel that way for a very long time. 
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            You’ve told your kids what you want - Seems like it will be ok, but maybe not. My friend Martha and her two sisters have not been on speaking terms since their mother died. Seems everyone heard something different from Mom regarding what she wanted. The twins heard she didn’t care “do what you want”. So, when mom died visiting one of them a Southern Baptist service was arranged. That service stunned Martha who was raised Catholic and heard mom say she wanted “a service just like the one we did for your dad.” 
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           Call the funeral home, make an appointment and get everything written down and on file at the funeral home. It’s easy and there is not charge for the appointment. 
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            ﻿
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      <pubDate>Sat, 01 Jul 2023 15:17:17 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/it-s-not-really-a-funeral-plan-if-it-s-not-at-the-funeral-home</guid>
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      <title>What Helps When a Person is Sad?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-helps-when-a-person-is-sad</link>
      <description>Some things are so simple that it’s easy to doubt their ability to help. In times of trouble, it is often the little things that make all the difference. Chicken soup when you feel a cold coming on, a hug, and a warm chocolate chip cookie all make a person feel better. Even though they don’t really fix the problem, they help.</description>
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           What Helps When a Person is Sad?
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           Some things are so simple that it’s easy to doubt their ability to help. In times of trouble, it is often the little things that make all the difference. Chicken soup when you feel a cold coming on, a hug, and a warm chocolate chip cookie all make a person feel better. Even though they don’t really fix the problem, they help.
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           Writing in a journal on a daily basis may seem like it’s too much trouble to undertake. Especially when a person is in the midst of major life changes like dealing with chronic illness, moving, divorce, or grieving. But journaling has been proven to elevate mood and really help people deal with crisis and loss.
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           A journal does not judge, a journal will not be uncomfortable with your sorrow, a journal will not try to “fix” you. A journal is a silent listener. You set the pace. It lets you have good days and bad days. A journal absorbs anger and celebrates joy. It helps a person move through the hard work of grieving.
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           If you know someone who has experienced a loss or is going through a difficult life change, give them a journal. If you receive a journal use it. It may take a while to become comfortable with writing on a daily basis. Stick with it. It takes a while to ingrain a habit.
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           Pick a time of day that works for you and set aside fifteen minutes to write. Some like to start their day with a journal entry. Others prefer to end their day with a few quiet minutes with the pen and a blank page. Write whatever comes to your mind. It’s not a novel. Spelling and grammar don’t matter. What you write doesn’t need to make sense or be eloquent. 
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           What does matter is that you actually write, not type. Laying down words with a pen or pencil on paper is processed by the brain differently than typing. It just is. It also matters that you journal every day.
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           Writing in a journal won’t fix your problems, but it will help you grapple with and succeed at working through what ails you.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 24 Jun 2023 14:59:58 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-helps-when-a-person-is-sad</guid>
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      <title>Why Not Call the Funeral Director?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/why-not-call-the-funeral-director</link>
      <description>A husband and father of four dies suddenly. He languishes in the morgue at the coroner’s office for weeks because no one knows what to do and no one is empowered to act. The only thing the kids and grandchildren can agree on is that their father did not want to spend a lot of money on a funeral.</description>
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           Why Not Call the Funeral Director?
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           A husband and father of four dies suddenly. He languishes in the morgue at the coroner’s office for weeks because no one knows what to do and no one is empowered to act. The only thing the kids and grandchildren can agree on is that their father did not want to spend a lot of money on a funeral.
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           It is just downright crazy the things folks will do to work around the funeral home when a family member dies. Let’s get real about the widespread and totally unreasonable fear of working with a funeral director. The origin of the fear is the belief that funerals cost too much. Let’s take a look at the reality. 
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           Funeral directors are educated professionals. Like doctors and lawyers, they meet rigorous state requirements in order to be licensed to practice. Funeral directors do expect to be paid for the work they do. However, unlike doctors and lawyers, funeral directors do not typically charge for a consultation. Which means a family can talk with a director about options and cost before they make a commitment to actually have the funeral home provide services. 
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           A person should not expect this is something one should do on the fly over the phone. That is just unreasonable. You would not expect to call Macy’s and ask how much a pair of shoes will cost. Everyone knows it is not that simple. You are going to need to provide more information about the kind of shoe you need to get an accurate cost. In the same way there are literally hundreds of possible combinations of funeral services and products. The cost depends on what your family wants and needs.
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           So instead, call the funeral home and ask for an appointment with a funeral director to learn about options for service and cost. When you sit down with the director you will be presented with a general price list. This list will detail all the services and costs. What could be more up front than that? What other professional group will provide you with that kind of information?
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           Be prepared to share both your budget and what is important to your family. Please, do not let unreasonable fear keep you from getting the professional help your family needs when someone they love has died. 
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      <pubDate>Sat, 17 Jun 2023 17:14:10 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/why-not-call-the-funeral-director</guid>
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      <title>Should We Have an Open Casket?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/should-we-have-an-open-casket</link>
      <description>“I was very surprised at my reaction. Seeing John in his casket wasn’t something I was looking forward to. His daughter (from his first marriage) really wanted an open casket.  So, I agreed. Mostly just to remain on good terms with my stepdaughter. He looked so peaceful. He had a Mona Lisa smile. I am so glad I didn’t stick to what he and I had talked about. The opportunity for that last good good-bye ended up meaning the world to me… and his daughter.”</description>
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           “I was very surprised at my reaction. Seeing John in his casket wasn’t something I was looking forward to. His daughter (from his first marriage) really wanted an open casket. So, I agreed. Mostly just to remain on good terms with my stepdaughter. He looked so peaceful. He had a Mona Lisa smile. I am so glad I didn’t stick to what he and I had talked about. The opportunity for that last good good-bye ended up meaning the world to me… and his daughter.”
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           Many long-standing funeral practices, like viewing the deceased, are undervalued today. Perhaps we should think again? Maybe go slowly? Allow for individual family members to say goodbye in a way that is most meaningful to them. 
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           There is a value to “seeing” the deceased. If you doubt that value think about what happens when there is a sudden, unexpected death. Body recovery is high on everyone’s list. Seeing is believing. Some family members may find an opportunity to see the deceased helpful. Some, like the woman who wrote the opening quote, may be surprised at the comfort the opportunity to see the person they love at peace brings.
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           The funeral director is there to guide you. Ask questions. How can we give my grandson an opportunity to see his grandfather? What if some family do not wish to see dad? Mom didn’t want an open casket but some of us would like an opportunity to see her one last time. What can we do?
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           Funeral directors are always willing and able to allow for individual family differences. A daughter who prefers not to view the body and grandson who would very much appreciate an opportunity for a face to face farewell. One need not exclude the other. Funeral directors have solutions. When you meet with yours, be open. Share your family’s needs and ask questions.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 10 Jun 2023 16:07:56 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/should-we-have-an-open-casket</guid>
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      <title>Expressions of Condolences</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/expressions-of-condolences</link>
      <description>Back in the day, before embalming was wide-spread, flowers surrounded the casket and perfumed the air. Today, it is no longer necessary to have flowers scent the air.  And yet, there is something comforting about the presence of flowers at a funeral.</description>
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           Expressions of Condolences
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           Back in the day, before embalming was wide-spread, flowers surrounded the casket and perfumed the air. Today, it is no longer necessary to have flowers scent the air. And yet, there is something comforting about the presence of flowers at a funeral.
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           Flowers are beautiful. What an amazing way nature has provided for life to go on. The flower is the promise of the future for a plant. Flowers are cheerful. They are calming. When we are the recipient of a floral bouquet or arrangement, we feel cared about, loved, and comforted. Flowers are visual. They are tangible. Family and friends can see the love that was directed at the person who has died. They can see the love that is directed at them in their time of sorrow. So, why not send flowers? Send them to the funeral home or to the home of family members.
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           If flowers are not how you would like to show your condolences, florists can also offer non-floral expressions.
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           Many florists also offer a variety of statuary, memorial pieces such as crosses or even throw blankets. Call your local florists and let them assist you with the perfect item.
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           Another option is to direct the money people would spend on flowers to a charity or a cause that was important to the deceased. A contribution is a lovely gesture of remembrance. Cures can be found, treatment provided, lives saved or enhanced, through charitable contributions.
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           If you are the family member deciding what to do - donations or flowers - there is no real right or wrong. Maybe you accept any form of condolences. Allow friends and family to express their feelings in a manner appropriate for them. Instead of using the language “in lieu of flowers” in the announcement just say, “Donations to __________ will be appreciated. Flowers or expressions of sympathy may be sent to            .” That way folks can decide on their own how they want to show respect and provide comfort.
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           If you are going to a funeral and are undecided about sending flowers, a memorial item or a donation, do what feels good to you. If you think the family is likely to be overwhelmed with flowers you might pull together a group of folks, neighbors, co-workers, church friends, the bridge group, and send one floral arrangement or gift from all. If a charity has not been designated but you would prefer to contribute in remembrance of the deceased, contribute to a cause that is dear to you. 
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           There is no right or wrong, sending flowers or a contribution, let the family know they are loved and the person they loved and lost was important.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 03 Jun 2023 15:37:04 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/expressions-of-condolences</guid>
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      <title>Memorial Day</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/memorial-day</link>
      <description>Of course, it is a three-day weekend. A perfect time to hit the road and do something in the great outdoors. After all, in most parts of the country it’s the start of the Summer season. Time to clean off the grill, get out the frisbee, and spend time with family.</description>
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           What is the purpose of Memorial Day? Why do we have this holiday?
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           Of course, it is a three-day weekend. A perfect time to hit the road and do something in the great outdoors. After all, in most parts of the country it’s the start of the Summer season. Time to clean off the grill, get out the frisbee, and spend time with family.
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           Although the celebrations may look a little different this year, take a moment to remember the origin of this holiday.
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           It started as Decoration Day. The Civil War ended in the Spring of 1865 claiming 600,000 lives. More lives than in other wars in US History. Decoration Day was a day set aside to decorate the graves of those who died in this war. Graves were decorated with flowers and flags with a goal to honor the ultimate sacrifice of those who died. By the end of the 1800’s Decoration Day was an official holiday.
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           After World War I, Decoration Day was changed to Memorial Day. The revamped holiday was set aside as a time to remember all who gave their lives in service of our country in any war. Memorial Day is a distinctively American holiday and is properly celebrated with red, white, and blue American enthusiasm. 
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           It is also a time to visit the cemetery and decorate the graves, fly the flag, and go to a parade. It might also be a time to think about and learn a little about American History. You could even make it a family activity. Get the kids to put those electronic devices to good use playing Memorial Day Trivial Pursuit of sorts. How many wars have we Americans participated in? Where did we fight? Why were we fighting? Just go with the tried and true journalism questions… who, what, where, when, and why. There is a lot to learn. Your family might even have a discussion!
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           Use a little of that time off work to learn about, remember, and honor all the men and women who have died in military service.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 27 May 2023 17:50:51 GMT</pubDate>
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      <title>Top Three Priorities for Those Who are Grieving</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/top-three-priorities-for-those-who-are-grieving</link>
      <description>When a person is in the midst of grief, taking care of themselves can get lost in the mayhem. There really are so many things to do. Eating well, exercise, and even sleep just don’t seem that important. The reality is that grief takes a lot of energy. Self-care might just be the most important item on the agenda.</description>
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           Top Three Priorities for Those Who are Grieving
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           When a person is in the midst of grief, taking care of themselves can get lost in the mayhem. There really are so many things to do. Eating well, exercise, and even sleep just don’t seem that important. The reality is that grief takes a lot of energy. Self-care might just be the most important item on the agenda.
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           If you know someone who is grieving, feed them. Make it easy. Take them something to eat. The effort of ordering a meal or getting dressed to go out to eat can be overwhelming to a person who is mourning a loss.
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           If you are grieving, buy a few easy-to-prepare foods. Eggs and soup can be a good start. Don’t overlook the freezer section. Buy an apple. Microwave popcorn is not a meal!
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           Exercise doesn’t always need to involve weights, running, or even sweat. Just take a walk. Start small. Try ten minutes the first few days and then see if that can be increased each week. Set your sights on a 30 minute walk each day.
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            The experts tell us we need seven to eight hours of sleep a night. They suggest going to bed at a regular time and getting up at a regular time. Set the alarm and watch those naps. It is tempting to use sleep to avoid those sad feelings. Too much sleep is no better than too little sleep. Try turning down the thermostat at night. Those in the know tell us 65 to 68 degrees is the optimal temp for sleep. 
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           Paying attention to these three basics, eating well, exercise, and sleep will help support a person who is involved in the difficult task of grieving.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 20 May 2023 16:28:32 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/top-three-priorities-for-those-who-are-grieving</guid>
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      <title>Trouble Sleeping After A Loss</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/trouble-sleeping-after-a-loss</link>
      <description>“The darkest hour is just before dawn,” or “Things will look better in the morning,” both are old sayings that could be interpreted in different ways. One theory holds those sayings refer to “night dreads”. Night dreads are when sleep is interrupted abruptly with anxious feelings of dread. You wake after just a few hours of sleep when it’s too early to begin your day. The mind is racing in a negative direction swamped by feelings of alarm. These feelings that seem overwhelming at 3 a.m. magically evaporate when the sun comes up and the day begins for real.</description>
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           Trouble Sleeping After a Loss
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           “The darkest hour is just before dawn,” or “Things will look better in the morning,” both are old sayings that could be interpreted in different ways. One theory holds those sayings refer to “night dreads”. Night dreads are when sleep is interrupted abruptly with anxious feelings of dread. You wake after just a few hours of sleep when it’s too early to begin your day. The mind is racing in a negative direction swamped by feelings of alarm. These feelings that seem overwhelming at 3 a.m. magically evaporate when the sun comes up and the day begins for real. 
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           Waking in the night with these negative thoughts seems to happen more often as we age and our sleep patterns change. They also happen more often during periods of stress. So, if you are a caregiver for a family member or have experienced a death in your family you may be familiar with episodes of “night dreads”. If that is the case, you know it can be difficult to get back to sleep and feel rested for the day ahead. 
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           When you wake with your heart pounding and your brain racing there are a few things you can try to undo the interruption. First, uncoil, change your position in the bed. Make sure your head and neck are well supported. Slow your breathing and actively work on directing your thoughts in another direction. Be very mindful about your breathing. 
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           Softly close your eyes and draw your awareness to what you see as you slowly breathe in and out. At first, you may think you see nothing. But, be patient. Just keep breathing slowly and looking. In a little while you will begin to see patterns of light and dark. Stay focused on the patterns. Just watch them drift and move. Concentrate on your breath and the patterns. The negative thoughts will be crowded out and you will drift off to sleep. The key is not to get wrapped up in the negative spiral where one negative thought or fear connects to the next and the merry-go-round of thought is going faster and faster until you have no reasonable hope of sleep.
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           If mindful breathing doesn’t work for you, try telling yourself a bedtime story. Be very colorful and descriptive as you develop your story over the details. What are the golfers wearing? Ball caps or visors, short sleeve shirts or sweaters, is the wind blowing, are the trees green or in fall color? How does the ball sound when it is struck by the club? The details are what will take your mind to a simpler, calmer place. Be very descriptive in your thoughts. 
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           If these techniques don’t help and your night dreads are becoming more frequent or they do not evaporate when the sun comes up, talk to your doctor. Sometimes there are physical connections to night dreads and the doctor can help. A good night’s sleep is important for health and well-being.
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            ﻿
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      <pubDate>Sat, 13 May 2023 17:44:43 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/trouble-sleeping-after-a-loss</guid>
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      <title>Why Don’t We Celebrate Life While the Person is Alive?</title>
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      <description>Interesting question, isn’t it? The person asking the question had recently attended what he described as a “fabulous funeral.” Turns out the funeral was billed as a celebration of life. Our questioner, Mark, attended because the person who died was the mother of a co-worker he had worked with for more than 30 years.</description>
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           Why Don't We Celebrate Life While the Person is Alive?
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           Interesting question, isn’t it? The person asking the question had recently attended what he described as a “fabulous funeral.” Turns out the funeral was billed as a celebration of life. Our questioner, Mark, attended because the person who died was the mother of a co-worker he had worked with for more than 30 years. 
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           Mark was so impressed with the woman’s talents, interests, and accomplishments, all of which were highlighted during the service, he said he wished he had known her. The service got him thinking. Perhaps the deceased would have enjoyed seeing how much her neighbors, friends, grandchildren and children thought of her? Mark was thinking it might be better to celebrate a person’s life BEFORE they die.
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           What about that idea? Don’t we do that? Celebrate a person’s life while they are alive. It’s called a birthday party. Maybe we hold back a little. Perhaps we don’t gush over the person’s accomplishments as much on the birthday because the birthday boy or girl is too humble to feel comfortable being lauded while present and breathing?
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           So, is the value of a wonderful life celebration/funeral diminished because the person it was all about isn’t there to enjoy it? Or does the “value” of a funeral run deeper than that? Isn’t a funeral a validation of the significance of life in general? Might the fact that Mark was so moved by this ordinary women’s life inspire him to make more of his own? Isn’t it a worthwhile lesson for all of us to take a few hours and remember a person who died? Each of us is unique. Each of us walks a different path. Shouldn’t just about everyone’s life be summed up with a “fabulous funeral”?
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      <pubDate>Sat, 06 May 2023 16:38:19 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/why-dont-we-celebrate-life-while-the-person-is-alive</guid>
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      <title>Where Should I Send My Condolences?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/where-should-i-send-my-condolences</link>
      <description>Do not put off contacting your friend to express your sympathy. Options and opportunities may have changes over the decades, but the importance of reaching out to those suffering a loss has not. A call or a written note is always just right. Social media is just fine under some circumstances and a personal visit is lovely. Additionally, many funeral homes have a place on their website to post condolences. This format allows your expression of sympathy to be delivered privately and quickly.</description>
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           Where Should I Send My Condolences
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           Condolences do matter and timing is important.
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            Do not put off contacting your friend to express your sympathy. Options and opportunities may have changes over the decades, but the importance of reaching out to those suffering a loss has not. A call or a written note is always just right. Social media is just fine under some circumstances and a personal visit is lovely. Additionally, many funeral homes have a place on their website to post condolences. This format allows your expression of sympathy to be delivered privately and quickly. 
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            So, let’s start with the newest trend - technology and social media. It’s so fast and so easy to access. If you are texting a co-worker several times a day about other things, it would seem rude to not mention the loss of her mother. Do use private messaging forms of social media with people you communicate with regularly in this manner. Caution!! Be very careful to not send a public condolence message using social media if your friend has not made an equally public announcement of his or her loss on the same platform. Do follow-up your message with a call or personal note. Finally, do not use electronic messaging if the receiver is not a regular user of tech. 
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            Hand written notes or cards made for just this purpose should be mailed to the person closest to the deceased or to a personal friend who has experienced a loss. Your personal note should be simple. Thoughts such as you are sorry for their loss, you are thinking of them in this difficult time or they are in your thoughts and prayers are appropriate. If you knew the deceased, you might share a brief story about the person who died and shares your connection.   
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           Should you make a condolence visit? Oh, my yes! A personal visit is the only way to give a hug. However, do call ahead. Do keep your visit brief and do focus on the grieving individual. Please, don’t say you know how they feel even if you share a similar experience. There will be a time for sharing later. For now, just let them know you are sorry for their loss. Come as a listener not a problem solver.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 29 Apr 2023 15:46:03 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/where-should-i-send-my-condolences</guid>
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      <title>Thinking No Funeral? Think Again</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/thinking-no-funeral-think-again</link>
      <description>Maybe you’ve said it, or thought it? “I don’t need a funeral. You can just bury me in the backyard”. That’s the male version of negating the need for a funeral. But the sentiment is not unique to men. Women just say it differently. “I don’t want you to make a fuss. I don’t need a funeral.” These folks are right. The person who died doesn’t need a funeral. They just need a legal, respectful disposal of their body. It’s the people who are left to do the work of grieving that need the support and community from a funeral.</description>
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           Thinking no funeral? Think again.
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           Maybe you’ve said it, or thought it? “I don’t need a funeral. You can just bury me in the backyard”. That’s the male version of negating the need for a funeral. But the sentiment is not unique to men. Women just say it differently. “I don’t want you to make a fuss. I don’t need a funeral.” These folks are right. The person who died doesn’t need a funeral. They just need a legal, respectful disposal of their body. It’s the people who are left to do the work of grieving that need the support and community from a funeral.
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           Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, Aretha Franklin, John McCain, and most recently Kobe Bryant, didn’t need the memorials, teddy bears, or flowers. We needed them. We need to be a part of acknowledging the loss. We find comfort in being able to be a part of the service that honors their lives even when our part is just being an observer via television. We are comforted, in some measure, just by being able to observe.
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           It is human nature to seek community in times of trouble and in times of joy. People are pack animals. We don’t live in isolation. We touch the lives of others. We celebrate birth with family and friends. We celebrate the coming together of two people in marriage as a group. We hold each other’s hand in times of tragedy. When we express our caring feelings, it is not weakness. It’s our strength. We are human beings, we care.
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           Having the opportunity to express our feelings is not expected to “cure” our grief. Coming together does not provide closure. The door never really closes on the love one human being has for another. Coming together, expressing our feelings in the presence of our community, are steps in the healing process. Being able to express our feelings in a safe, accepting environment provides some measure of healing.
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           Grief in the early days is raw. As time passes it softens. The hard edges become rounded and we begin to find the joy we had with the one we loved in our memories. Grief is hard work. It’s a journey.
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           Why should anyone have to begin this journey alone?
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      <pubDate>Sat, 22 Apr 2023 15:37:02 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/thinking-no-funeral-think-again</guid>
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      <title>What is a Celebration of Life?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-is-a-celebration-of-life</link>
      <description>Do you have to be rich or famous to have a celebration of life?</description>
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           What is a Celebration of Life?
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           Do you have to be rich or famous to have a celebration of life?
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           The celebration of life is the personal or individual aspect of a funeral service. It is about the person who died. It is about their relationships, their loves, their passions, their accomplishments, their beliefs, their talents. It is about what and who they cared about as they lived their own unique life. How did they make a difference? 
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           A person does not have to be rich, or famous, or even publicly successful to have had a life that can be celebrated. Maybe they were simply a dependable friend, or a loving parent, a great teacher, or just fun to be around. Isn’t that enough reason to celebrate? 
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           A celebration of life can be compared to a couple writing all or part of their own vows for a wedding ceremony. It is the part of the service that is about the person. It can be the cookies they baked, the children they raised, the oceans they sailed, the buildings they built. What made them who they are and different from the person who was in this funeral home last week? Why will they be missed?
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           Believe it or not, every person is unique. We all have a unique fingerprint, ear shape, and “thermal plume”. Our own little cloud formed of a combination of 44 compounds given off by our bodies as we strut our stuff around town. We are unique. That is what a celebration of life is all about, who we were and how we touched others as we lived our life. Anyone can have a Celebration of Life.
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           A Life Celebration is not an either-or proposition as in “should we have a religious funeral or a Life Celebration”. It is an and also proposition. You can have both. Especially when a person has a strong belief system that is just part of who they were. Talk to your funeral director. He or she can help you both honor faith and celebrate life. 
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            ﻿
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      <pubDate>Sat, 15 Apr 2023 16:53:32 GMT</pubDate>
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      <title>Cooking for One …The Perfect Egg</title>
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      <description>The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, standing in the checkout line at the local market, a woman looked up and saw a man gazing longingly at her cart which was full of food.  As he looked at the food, he said, “I should learn to cook.” As the conversation progressed, he shared that his wife had died awhile back, and he was still eating frozen dinners. He should learn to cook.</description>
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           Cooking for One... The Perfect Egg
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           The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, standing in the checkout line at the local market, a woman looked up and saw a man gazing longingly at her cart which was full of food. As he looked at the food, he said, “I should learn to cook.” As the conversation progressed, he shared that his wife had died awhile back, and he was still eating frozen dinners. He should learn to cook. 
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           As it turns out, cooking for one is one of the most difficult hurdles a person faces when they lose their life partner. The first step is deciding to cook. Change the way you view cooking. Try looking at making food for yourself as an opportunity, rather than a chore. Take on the challenge of making simple food perfectly. Try to see something positive in the experience. One woman said she can eat when she wants and what she wants. That is her positive. She turns on the TV for company. You deserve to eat well.
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           Mastering the egg is a great place to begin. A lot can be done with an egg. Eggs can be stored in the refrigerator for weeks and can be used for any meal. Start with a few egg basics. Do cook your eggs gently. Lower the heat and cook them for a little longer time. When cracking an egg, tap it on a flat surface like the kitchen counter rather than the edge of a bowl or pan. This will prevent getting eggshells in your dish. To prevent rubbery egg whites always wait to salt your eggs until after the white is set.
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           Scrambled eggs are not just for breakfast. They can also be brunch, lunch, or even supper. To make a lovely scrambled egg the most important thing is to get air into the egg mixture. That is what makes them light and fluffy. So, crack a couple of eggs into the bowl add a tablespoon of milk, cream, half and half, sour cream, crème fraiche or even coconut cream. Then use a whisk or a fork to whip the eggs. Elbow up! It is all in the wrist, get some air in those eggs. Melt two tablespoons of fat such as butter or margarine, oil, or spray the pan with a cooking spray. Add the eggs to the fat and stir gently. Remember, medium heat not hot. Cook until they are the way you like them - soft and a little runny or dry. Just before plating your eggs, sprinkle with salt and pepper to your taste. 
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           Hard-boiled eggs have a lot of uses. They can be added to a salad, or chopped with a little celery, onion, mayo and mustard to make an egg salad sandwich. Hard boiled eggs are also a good snack. A properly made hard-boiled egg will have a solid but moist yolk. Green rings around the outside of the yolk are an indication of over cooking. Place cool eggs in the bottom of a saucepan cover with cool water and bring to a boil then turn the heat down and simmer the eggs for seven to eight minutes. Remove the eggs from the pan and put them in a bowl of ice water. Once they are cool, crack the egg on the bottom (not the side) and peel under cold running water. Older eggs will peel the easiest. 
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           Making a Frittata is easy and provides a hearty supper. A frittata is a good way to use leftovers. Served with a small salad or rolls, it makes a complete dinner. Prepare an oven proof skillet and eggs as for scrambled eggs. Before you add the eggs to your skillet, sauté your vegetable and or meats in the pan. Some good combinations include broccoli, potato, and ham or spinach, red onion &amp;amp; bacon. Really, just use what you like and have on hand or left over. Once your veggie mixture is cooked, pour in your eggs and add a handful of the cheese of your choice. You can even top the egg mixture with tomato slices if you are a fan of the tomato. Pop the mixture into a 375-degree oven and bake until puffed and set. Cut and serve. Yum, look what you made!
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      <pubDate>Sat, 08 Apr 2023 16:51:37 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/cooking-for-one-the-perfect-egg</guid>
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      <title>Who Becomes a Funeral Director?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/who-becomes-a-funeral-director</link>
      <description>The funeral director is often the son or daughter of a funeral director. They grew up understanding the contribution the job brings to the community. Funeral directors are helpers. It’s more than just being understanding and compassionate. Funeral directors know what to do. They can guide a family that is in disarray due to a sudden loss of a family member. They know exactly where to begin when no one in the family has any idea what to do.</description>
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           Who Becomes a Funeral Director?
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           The funeral director is often the son or daughter of a funeral director. They grew up understanding the contribution the job brings to the community. Funeral directors are helpers. It’s more than just being understanding and compassionate. Funeral directors know what to do. They can guide a family that is in disarray due to a sudden loss of a family member. They know exactly where to begin when no one in the family has any idea what to do.
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           For the funeral directors who did not grow up in the business, they were drawn to the profession by their own memorable experience with loss. Having been comforted and supported by a funeral service themselves, they chose to enter the profession to help others. Funeral directors are helpers.
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            According to the
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           National Funeral Directors Association
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           , 16% of their member funeral directors are women. You can expect to see that number increase as 61% of current mortuary school students are female. Some suggest the increase in women entering the profession reflects changes taking place in the funeral service itself. 
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           The idea of celebrating the unique life of an individual who has died opens unlimited possibilities. Today’s funeral directors are increasingly involved in coordinating with clergy and a whole host of family members and others to ensure the service reflects the life of the person who died. This planning and developing a personalized service is appealing to many women.
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           The profession has always taken care of the deceased, lifting that burden from families. Today’s directors still take care of the one who died, but the real emphasis is on helping the survivors begin a healthy grieving process. 
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           Who becomes a funeral director? People who care, people who can lead, people who can mediate, people who are team players, people who quiet chaos. In short, people who help.
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           www.hillsidefuneral.com
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      <pubDate>Sat, 01 Apr 2023 13:25:39 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/who-becomes-a-funeral-director</guid>
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      <title>Where are You Now? Three to Six Months After the Death of a Spouse</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/where-are-you-now-three-to-six-months-after-the-death-of-a-spouse</link>
      <description>Grief is individual. Everyone experiences the sorrow over the loss of a loved one in their own way and at their own pace. That said, there is enough common ground for scientists, behaviorists and psychologists to describe steps or stages of grief. These scales for grief are useful. They can be helpful to see your feelings mirrored in the process and it is good to see that progress is to be expected.</description>
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           Where are You Now? Three to Six Months After the Death of a Spouse
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           Grief is individual. Everyone experiences the sorrow over the loss of a loved one in their own way and at their own pace. That said, there is enough common ground for scientists, behaviorists and psychologists to describe steps or stages of grief. These scales for grief are useful. They can be helpful to see your feelings mirrored in the process and it is good to see that progress is to be expected.
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           In his book, Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, William Worden takes a little different approach. He describes four tasks the mourner must accomplish.
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           1.   Accept the reality of the loss
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           2.   Work through the grief and pain
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           3.   Adjust to a new environment
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           4.   Find an enduring connection with the deceased while moving on with life
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           The task of accepting the reality of the loss usually takes place in the first weeks and months after the death. This is a busy time. There are many things to do. The busy work of filing papers and getting affairs in order can distract a person to the point they don’t feel the loss. This in turn can delay task number two - Working through the grief and pain. At some point, it is necessary to slow down and allow yourself to feel the pain. As Worden tells us, “The prescription for grief is to grieve. In my experience I have seen that despite best efforts, there is no way to “get around” grief; we have to be willing to go through it in order to get to the other side.” 
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           Sometime around that three to six-month time frame, it will be time to begin the work needed to accomplish task number three, Adjust to a new environment. This task requires much and takes time. It can mean learning how to live alone, learning how to pay your bills, cook your food, or care for your car. It can mean learning how to ask for and accept help. For some, this may be the hardest part.
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           However, just as grief can’t be skipped or glossed over, adjusting to life without a person’s loved one must be done by the mourner. No one can do it for them. Others can help, but if one is to go on with life and experience all the joy of the future, it is necessary to engage in this task. 
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           www.hillsidefuneral.com
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      <pubDate>Sat, 25 Mar 2023 14:30:30 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/where-are-you-now-three-to-six-months-after-the-death-of-a-spouse</guid>
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      <title>The Gift of a Note to Your Family</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/the-gift-of-a-note-to-your-family</link>
      <description>Nothing means more to a grieving child, spouse, sister, brother or friend than a personal note from the deceased. It’s something that will be cherished. The note will make its way out of it’s safe keeping spot whenever the mourner needs to feel close to the person who died. It will be read on those tearful days that are sure to come. It will also be read on those days that are full of joyful remembrance.</description>
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           The Gift of a Note to Your Family
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           Nothing means more to a grieving child, spouse, sister, brother or friend than a personal note from the deceased. It’s something that will be cherished. The note will make its way out of it’s safe keeping spot whenever the mourner needs to feel close to the person who died. It will be read on those tearful days that are sure to come. It will also be read on those days that are full of joyful remembrance. 
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           The note doesn’t have to be eloquent. It doesn’t have to be brilliant or witty. It doesn’t have to be long. It just needs to tell the person how you feel about them. The writer might also include what they liked about recipient, enjoyed doing with them, or how the person was helpful. The note can express gratitude or love. It can include a shared “remember when” story. In the end it’s a love note. A personal connection that lasts even when life has ended.
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           So, when do you write these notes and where do you keep them? There really is no need to wait. Write your notes today or tomorrow as you live your life. They can always be revised and updated. Waiting may mean that you never get around to it. Remember, life is fragile.
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           If you have an advance funeral plan on file at your preferred funeral home, you might ask the funeral director to keep them for you. Just imagine how lovely it would be for your family to receive your note at the conclusion of their conference with the funeral director to finalize your arrangements. If you don’t have a plan on file, make sure someone in your family knows where the notes are kept and when they should be distributed.
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           “We are fragile creatures, and it is from this weakness, not despite it, that we discover the possibility of true joy.”
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           ― Desmond Tutu, 
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    &lt;a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/49782515" target="_blank"&gt;&#xD;
      
           The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World
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      <pubDate>Sun, 19 Feb 2023 17:57:38 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/the-gift-of-a-note-to-your-family</guid>
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      <title>Until Death Do Us Part: Losing a Spouse   Three to Six months after loss</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/until-death-do-us-part-losing-a-spouse-three-to-six-months-after-loss</link>
      <description>By now most of the big stuff is probably done. The thank you notes have been written and mailed. The marker or head stone has been placed or you’ve found a place for the urn. You’ve probably filed for the life insurance, and perhaps you’ve even begun to clean out his closet.</description>
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           Until Death Do Us Part: Losing a Spouse
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           Three to Six Months After Loss
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           By now most of the big stuff is probably done. The thank you notes have been written and mailed. The marker or head stone has been placed or you’ve found a place for the urn. You’ve probably filed for the life insurance, and perhaps you’ve even begun to clean out his closet.   
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           You may be wondering, what have I missed? 
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           ·      Have you changed the titles to the car? 
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           ·      Put the deed to the home in your name? 
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           ·      Have you changed the utilities and cable service into your name? 
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           ·      Is your medical power of attorney up to date? 
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           ·      Have you updated your estate plan or will? 
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           ·      Have you spoken to an accountant or tax expert about any tax consequences associated with gifts you have made or increased allocations from IRA or investments? 
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           How about you? What are you doing to take care of you? 
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           ·      Are you up-to-date with your health and dental care? 
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           ·      Are you eating well? 
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           ·      Are you learning to cook or have you gotten someone to mow the lawn? 
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           ·      Have you had lunch or dinner with a friend? 
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           ·      Have you done something fun? A movie? Golf? A ballgame? 
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           Scientists tell us there is a hand/mind connection. Doing things with our hands actually increases our sense of well-being. Even simple chores such as washing the dishes, preparing your meal, or even making your bed help to provide purpose and a natural routine. Why not step outside of your box and try something creative that you used to enjoy doing or have thought about trying? Don’t discount the value of a craft, woodworking or art project. 
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            Finally, see people. Human contact is vital to your new normal. If your friends and family aren’t calling you, then call them. Look for a movie you would like to see, a museum you would like to visit, or a restaurant you would like to try and ask someone to join you.   
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            ﻿
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           www.hillsidefuneral.com
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      <pubDate>Sun, 19 Feb 2023 17:53:55 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/until-death-do-us-part-losing-a-spouse-three-to-six-months-after-loss</guid>
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      <title>Writing the Thank You Notes</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/writing-the-thank-you-notes</link>
      <description>Writing thank you notes is usually one of the very first “after the funeral” tasks you will undertake. You may be surprised to find that your brain/hand coordination is not working so well. You sit there with pen in hand and well-formed thoughts in your head, but somehow it all gets lost between the head and the paper. Don’t despair. This is normal and it’s all part of the grief journey. You are not thinking straight now, but you will again soon.</description>
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           Writing the Thank You Notes
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           Writing thank you notes is usually one of the very first “after the funeral” tasks you will undertake. You may be surprised to find that your brain/hand coordination is not working so well. You sit there with pen in hand and well-formed thoughts in your head, but somehow it all gets lost between the head and the paper. Don’t despair. This is normal and it’s all part of the grief journey. You are not thinking straight now, but you will again soon. 
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            First, let’s tackle who gets a “thank you” and then I can give you a few wordy ideas to help you get started. Anyone who made a donation or sent flowers should get a thank you note from a family member. You will also want to send a note to people who helped. Maybe they provided food or took care of the dog for you or picked up people at the airport. All of those folks should receive a note of thanks. You do not need to send notes to people who sent condolence cards, emails, or texts. 
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           Your words can be brief. No one expects a long letter from you at this time. It is just nice to know that the flowers arrived, or the donation was received. Your kind friends just need to hear thank you. 
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            Thank you for all your kindness …. 
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           Your help meant so much to us…. 
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           We all loved the broccoli, thank you for taking care of us …. 
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           Your flowers were so beautiful and such a comfort to us …. 
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           For some, these are written the day after the funeral. Everyone sits around the kitchen table to write the thank you notes and everyone laughs as more than a few notes are torn and tossed in the trash. This may be the first laughter heard in several days. 
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      <pubDate>Sat, 11 Feb 2023 20:14:26 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/writing-the-thank-you-notes</guid>
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      <title>Finding YOUR Joy</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/finding-your-joy</link>
      <description>Even months after the funeral it’s not uncommon to feel just not exactly right. We all lose our way from time to time. Things happen and we can’t find our JOY. It’s not really so much gone, as it is misplaced. Life feels dull and the days seem to drag.  No matter what the circumstances, if you look for it, you can find your own personal JOY again. However, you will have to work a bit to find it and reconnect.</description>
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           Finding YOUR Joy
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           Even months after the funeral it’s not uncommon to feel just not exactly right. We all lose our way from time to time. Things happen and we can’t find our JOY. It’s not really so much gone, as it is misplaced. Life feels dull and the days seem to drag. No matter what the circumstances, if you look for it, you can find your own personal JOY again. However, you will have to work a bit to find it and reconnect.   
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           To begin, you must put on your little super power cape and take control. You’ll have to take ownership of your joy. Terrible things happen to us in life. Illness of a loved one, your own illness, even the death of a loved one, there really are a lot of things to be unhappy about. You can, however, experience joy in spite of adversity. Make a positive decision to take your personal joy into your own hands and get it back! 
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           Start by connecting with your senses, hearing, touch, smell, taste, and sight. Take them one by one and dig in. What sounds bring you joy? Maybe it’s the sound of little kids on the playground, or the Beatles, or waves crashing on the beach. Get out a piece of paper and make a list. You may be surprised at how many little tiny things you enjoy related to your senses.   
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           Once you have identified things you like to smell, touch, taste, hear and see, you need to make a plan to get at least one of those things in your life on a daily basis. Turn on the music you love, buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, bake one little chocolate chip cookie every day! What the heck, they make that frozen cookie dough for a reason! Get up early once a week and see the sunrise. Take a walk. Put joy back in your life in its simplest forms. Just go for it. It’s not that hard.   
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           Once your senses are starting to wake up again, start to think about gratitude. What are you thankful for? That time your dad took you fishing, that your grandmother taught you the names of all the birds, fireworks on the Fourth of July or the beauty of a tree. The list is endless, humbling, and there is joy in gratitude. Be grateful. 
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           It’s YOUR JOY. Take it back. 
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      <pubDate>Sat, 11 Feb 2023 19:43:29 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/finding-your-joy</guid>
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      <title>What to Expect When Your Catholic Friend Dies</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-to-expect-when-your-catholic-friend-dies</link>
      <description>Roman Catholic refers to a religious body that acknowledges the pope as its authority and the Vatican as the center of ecclesiastical unity. The Catholic Church’s position on death is as follows … From the General Introduction of the Order of Christian Funerals: “The Church intercedes on behalf of the deceased because of its confident belief that death is not the end… The Church also ministers to the sorrowing and consoles them in the funeral rites with the comforting word of God and sacrament of the eucharist.”</description>
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           What to Expect When Your Catholic Friend Dies
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           Roman Catholic refers to a religious body that acknowledges the pope as its authority and the Vatican as the center of ecclesiastical unity. The Catholic Church’s position on death is as follows … From the General Introduction of the Order of Christian Funerals: “The Church intercedes on behalf of the deceased because of its confident belief that death is not the end… The Church also ministers to the sorrowing and consoles them in the funeral rites with the comforting word of God and sacrament of the eucharist.”
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           Funeral services for a Catholic, in their entirety, will have three parts. Today it is not uncommon for one or more parts to be omitted or abbreviated. Still, the Church recommends the funeral contain all three parts since each has a special function or purpose. The parts include:
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           1.   The Vigil or Wake: This is an opportunity for family, community, and friends to gather, pray, and offer condolences to the family of the deceased. It is a time to remember the life of the deceased. The vigil…
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           ·     Usually takes place at the funeral home the evening before the service or morning before the service at the church.
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           ·     The body is usually present. The casket may or may not be open. Mourners will approach the casket and say a silent prayer.
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           ·     Eulogies, pictures, secular music, and food may be a part of this service. What is included varies depending on the ethnicity of the family and their traditions. This is a time for focusing on the life of the deceased.
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           ·     A priest may lead those gathered in a brief prayer service.
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           2.   The Funeral Liturgy: This is the liturgical celebration of the community for the deceased. A Mass is encouraged. The funeral liturgy is an act of worship.
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           ·     The priest, followed by the casket and then the family, will process into the church.
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           ·     Attendees who are not Catholic may stand, sit, and kneel along with Catholics during the service/mass. Guests who are not comfortable with kneeling may sit during the entire service.
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           ·     No special head covering is required for women or men.
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           ·     Prayers will be read, and communion will be distributed.
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           ·     Only Catholic attendees may receive communion.
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           ·     Eulogies and secular music will not be a part of this service.
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           3.   The Interment: Funeral guests are invited to attend the interment.
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           ·     Prayers will be led by the priest.
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           ·     Military rites may be included if applicable.
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           ·     The grave will be closed after participants leave the cemetery.
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           ·     A wake or luncheon may follow the interment and can be held at the funeral home, the church hall, or a restaurant.
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           When a Catholic dies it is appropriate to:
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           ·     Telephone or stop by to offer condolences.
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           ·     Send flowers to the funeral home or to the home of close family members.
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           ·     To bring food to the family.
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           ·     To make a contribution to charities in honor of the deceased.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 11 Feb 2023 19:37:14 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-to-expect-when-your-catholic-friend-dies</guid>
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      <title>We all love in very different ways:  Preserving the Family Relationship while Planning a Funeral</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/we-all-love-in-very-different-ways-preserving-the-family-relationship-while-planning-a-funeral</link>
      <description>You are with someone with whom you share some history. Maybe it’s a brother, sister, or a childhood friend. You are talking about an event from the “old days” and you suddenly realize you all remember the event a little differently. Most of us have had this experience. Our relationships work in a similar fashion. The way we love, like the way we remember, is unique to each of us.</description>
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           We All Love in Very Different Ways: Preserving the Family Relationship While Planning a Funeral
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           You are with someone with whom you share some history. Maybe it’s a brother, sister, or a childhood friend. You are talking about an event from the “old days” and you suddenly realize you all remember the event a little differently. Most of us have had this experience. Our relationships work in a similar fashion. The way we love, like the way we remember, is unique to each of us.   
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           A man’s children know him as Dad. Each child knows and loves a slightly different Dad. His wife knows and loves him in yet a different way. A wife may know fears, strengths, hopes, and dreams children never saw. They all love, but in such different ways. Though not a bad thing, it can add to the stress a family experiences during a death and subsequent funeral planning. 
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            So how do you preserve your family relationship and plan a funeral that provides comfort for each family member? 
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            1.    Establish a common goal. For example: “We want a funeral that reflects Mom’s life, her love for us and our love for her.” 
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           2.    Understand someone has the final say. This is usually the person who is financially and legally responsible. 
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           3.    Agree to listen to each other. REALLY listen with purpose. Listen to understand a point of view, not with the singular intent of getting to the good part where you get to say what you want. 
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           4.    Seek input from a variety of close family members or friends. Don’t forget the little ones. Ask them about grandma. What did they love to do with her? Do they have a special memory or story? 
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            5.    Let go. Realize everything is not going to be as you would choose. Give a little or maybe even a lot. 
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           6.    Ask for a time out when you need it. Your first reaction to someone’s idea may be tempered with a little time and thought. 
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           7.    Use your questions: Tell me more about that? Why is ______ important to you? 
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           8.    Take the advice of Stephen Covey from The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, “Seek first to understand and then be understood.” 
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           Emotions are raw when families are mourning a death. Tread lightly and be kind. Remember you may want to have Thanksgiving dinner with these people in a few months! 
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      <pubDate>Sat, 11 Feb 2023 18:27:39 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/we-all-love-in-very-different-ways-preserving-the-family-relationship-while-planning-a-funeral</guid>
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      <title>Do I Really Need to Attend the Funeral?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/do-i-really-need-to-attend-the-funeral</link>
      <description>Your presence is important. If there is any way possible, please, just be there. When a child is born it is a life changing event for the parents, siblings and grandparents at the very least. It may also be a life changing event for the kindergarten teacher five years in the future. Bottom line, life matters.</description>
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           Do I Really Need to Attend the Funeral?
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           Your presence is important. If there is any way possible, please, just be there. When a child is born it is a life changing event for the parents, siblings and grandparents at the very least. It may also be a life changing event for the kindergarten teacher five years in the future. Bottom line, life matters.   
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           When a life ends, it is also a life-changing event. Regardless of the age at which the person dies or circumstances of the death, lives will change. Family and friends will never see that person again. They will not share in each other’s joy. Neither will they have the opportunity to heal old wounds. They will not hear that voice in praise, love or anger ever again. It’s over, and in some way everyone close will have to adjust to the change. 
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           The funeral, the gathering together, acknowledges a living person is gone. Your presence says, “Yes, this life mattered. And, yes, your lives have changed. But not everything has changed, you still have us.” Going is important.   
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           The funeral home is a safe place for the family to receive guests and their condolences. It’s ok to cry at the funeral home. In a few weeks when you see this friend of yours who lost her mom, you will want to say something. And when you do, the emotion will open up and the sadness will surface. Crying at the grocery store or the soccer field is uncomfortable for everyone.   
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           When people organize a funeral gathering and ask friends and family to come to them to share in their loss and sorrow, to help them. Please go, hold a hand, give a hug, share a memory, offer your condolences, and smile at the video. Let them cry in a safe place.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 04 Feb 2023 13:26:58 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/do-i-really-need-to-attend-the-funeral</guid>
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      <title>Why Plan Your Funeral in Advance?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/why-plan-your-funeral-in-advance</link>
      <description>The story below illustrates the benefits of preplanning your funeral. Also known as an “advance funeral plan”, “preneed”, or a “preplanned funeral”, it is one of the few things in life where you can pay today’s prices for a product and service you may not need for many years down the road, thus saving you money.</description>
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           Why Plan Your Funeral in Advance?
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           The story below illustrates the benefits of preplanning your funeral. Also known as an “advance funeral plan”, “preneed”, or a “preplanned funeral”, it is one of the few things in life where you can pay today’s prices for a product and service you may not need for many years down the road, thus saving you money.
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           We buried my dad last week. My dad’s funeral would have been just a little more than $8,000 not counting the luncheon or cemetery space. However, thanks to his pre-need funeral plan that he prepared 18 years ago at the funeral home, we got it for $5,000 and some change. Saving money wasn’t necessarily what motivated him to make the plan in advance. But, let me tell you, my mom was pretty pleased to know she didn't have to write that check. 
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            Now, I should clarify something here. My mom is more than okay financially. Paying, even the full $8,000, for the funeral would not have been a financial issue. It was an emotional thing. She knew the death of my dad was going to change her life. She just didn’t know how it would change. So, everything, every action and especially spending money, increased her anxiety. We didn’t need that. Thank you, dad, for taking care of the plan and its cost well before it was needed. 
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           What motivated my father to pre-plan was the fact we are a blended family. It’s not the we don’t all get along, we do (most of the time). But, we don’t all have the same taste. My sister, his oldest daughter, likes the earth tones. Our mom, his wife, on the other hand, likes the jewel tones. My dad picked a black casket and even said he wanted to be buried in his navy suit. Seems like small stuff, but it probably saved us all some angst. There was no fuss, no brown suit and no hurt feelings. 
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           If my dad would have asked us 18 years ago if he should pre-plan and pre-pay for his funeral, I feel certain all five of us would have said, “Don’t worry about that. We can take care of it when we have to.” I am so grateful that he did not ask and that he did not think just about the money portion of an advance funeral plan. Dad, thank you for being smarter than us and knowing that we would need your emotional support even in death. 
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            ﻿
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      <pubDate>Tue, 20 Dec 2022 15:32:50 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/why-plan-your-funeral-in-advance</guid>
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      <title>Who Should Record my Funeral Wishes?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/who-should-record-my-funeral-wishes</link>
      <description>There is a woman who once thought that she’d like to have a hologram made of her wearing an Obi-Wan Kenobi robe for her funeral. Her four sons grew up during the Star Wars era and similar to Obi-Wan, she would love to pass along the wisdom she acquired over her lifetime to those she loves. And yes, she would also like to have the last word!  So who should this woman see to discuss and share her wishes? Should she talk to an attorney? Her financial planner? Or a funeral director?</description>
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           Who Should Record My Funeral Wishes?
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           There is a woman who once thought that she’d like to have a hologram made of her wearing an Obi-Wan Kenobi robe for her funeral. Her four sons grew up during the Star Wars era and similar to Obi-Wan, she would love to pass along the wisdom she acquired over her lifetime to those she loves. And yes, she would also like to have the last word! So who should this woman see to discuss and share her wishes? Should she talk to an attorney? Her financial planner? Or a funeral director?
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           Both her attorney and financial planner suggested they could help but she wasn’t convinced based on her past experience. When her parents died the funeral was over before she even started to work on the finances and the estate. And there was so much attention paid to the final, final part…burial or cremation. She decided to contact her family funeral home and she met with Sue, the advance funeral planner. As it turns out, helping people get their funeral plans in place is Sue’s only job at the funeral home. And help this woman Sue did! 
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           They talked about what this woman thought she wanted for her funeral plans. They talked a lot about her family – her husband, her four grown up sons, their wives and their children. Sue helped this woman see that although her sons would appreciate the Obi Wan idea, her husband would need something a little more traditional with a spiritual element. They talked about the cost and how she could keep that under control. They also talked about the burial and cremation options. Sue explained to the woman that if she wasn’t ready, she didn’t need to make a decision about burial or cremation. The woman ended up talking to her family about it and she was able to get her wishes recorded at the funeral home and she decided to use a payment plan. With her plan in place, she can go in and change her plans at any time (e.g. if she decides she wants to be cremated at a later date) and Sue will help her with that.
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           Sue also suggested the woman begin gathering those words of wisdom that she wants to share at her funeral and bring them to Sue so she can put them in the file. On the day of the woman’s funeral, the funeral directors will print these words of wisdom and hand them out to those attending the funeral. As it turns out, holograms aren’t available just yet, but Sue thinks they may be prior to this woman’s death.
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           In the end, leaving the finances to the financial planner, the will &amp;amp; estate planning to the attorney, and the funeral planning to the funeral home made the most sense for this woman.
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      <pubDate>Tue, 20 Dec 2022 15:30:47 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/who-should-record-my-funeral-wishes</guid>
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      <title>When the Soul Leaves the Body … Reacting to a Sudden Unexpected Death</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/when-the-soul-leaves-the-body-reacting-to-a-sudden-unexpected-death</link>
      <description>Sometimes, if you are open to it, you can receive amazing information in the most unlikely ways.  For example, there was a driver who was taking a woman to the airport when she received the news that a family member had died. The woman gasped and her driver, who was from another culture, asked if she was okay. Normally she would just say “I am fine” because she is a private person. On this particular occasion, however, she shared her situation with this driver. Upon hearing the news, this gentleman shared his cultural belief and at that moment…it was exactly what she needed to hear.</description>
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           When the Soul Leaves the Body...Reacting to a Sudden Unexpected Death
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           Sometimes, if you are open to it, you can receive amazing information in the most unlikely ways. For example, there was a driver who was taking a woman to the airport when she received the news that a family member had died. The woman gasped and her driver, who was from another culture, asked if she was okay. Normally she would just say “I am fine” because she is a private person. On this particular occasion, however, she shared her situation with this driver. Upon hearing the news, this gentleman shared his cultural belief and at that moment…it was exactly what she needed to hear.
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           He said, “When the soul leaves the body, it can take a long time or it can happen very quickly. No matter how, it is painful. It is painful for the one who is dying, and it is painful for those who are left behind. The separation of the soul from the body, that is the ending of life. That is death. No matter how it happens, there is pain.”
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           When death is sudden and totally unexpected, you may find that you and your family members react in ways that seem strange and unfamiliar. You get the call. Something terrible has happened. Someone has died. You are stunned. 
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           As you begin to process the news, you may experience a strong pull to see where it happened. This is a normal response. Before you can accept the reality of the death you may have to see.
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           Seeing a loved one after their passing is not an easy thing to do, but it is necessary for many. If you feel you need to see, honor your need. The funeral director understands this need and can help you. Even if your mother always said, “I don’t want people to see me after I die”, she probably didn’t understand back then how her passing would affect you now. Talk to the funeral director and he or she will help you honor your mother’s wishes and satisfy your need as well.
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           In addition to accepting the reality that a death has occurred, those who experience a sudden loss also have the burden of working out how the death happened and why it happened. Many questions will go through their mind:
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           ·     Who didn’t do what they needed to do to prevent the awful reality?
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           ·     Who is accountable? Is it, me? Did I miss something?
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           ·     Should there be a law?
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           ·     Why? Why? Why?
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           This is a normal. Be patient with your family members as each of you must work through this in your own personal way. When the soul leaves the body it is always painful, but when it happens suddenly and unexpectedly, there are additional burdens to work through.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 26 Nov 2022 06:17:09 GMT</pubDate>
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      <title>Make Family the Foundation for Funeral Planning</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/make-family-the-foundation-for-funeral-planning</link>
      <description>There are two ways to take care of funeral planning: 1) you can plan your own funeral in advance or 2) your survivors can plan your funeral for you after your death. Regardless of when it is planned, or who plans the funeral, the planning needs to start with your family. Your family should be the foundation for funeral planning.</description>
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           Make Family the Foundation of Funeral Planning
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           There are two ways to take care of funeral planning: 1) you can plan your own funeral in advance or 2) your survivors can plan your funeral for you after your death. Regardless of when it is planned, or who plans the funeral, the planning needs to start with your family. Your family should be the foundation for funeral planning. 
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           After all, the funeral is not really for the deceased…it is for those who survive. We show respect for all human life in the manner in which we care for the body that housed the soul or spirit of our loved one. Respect and dignity for the body is important. The funeral helps those of us who survive by changing our focus from the cause of the death to the life that was lived. The funeral is the beginning of our grieving process and that is why funerals are so important.
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           If you are planning in advance for your own final remembrance, begin by thinking of those who love you. Your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, your friends and even your co-workers, what will they remember? What will make them smile? What will comfort them? What will they need? When they think of you what will come to mind? How is faith a part of their lives?
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           If you are planning a funeral for a deceased family member, involve the children, grandchildren and even close friends in the process. Ask them how they remember their friend or relative. Remember, we have all had a unique relationship with the deceased, so what you want to remember may be different from what your brother remembers. Ask your funeral director for ideas so they can help you capture and express the unique personality of your family member in the service plan.
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           For many years funeral planning started with a different set of questions. It started with questions about the faith. What church did your mother belong to? It followed with questions about the decedent’s wishes. What do you think your dad would want? These are still good valid questions but basing the entire funeral plan on only these aspects may not touch every family member.
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           Mother may have preferred that no one see her after death, but if you, her daughter, need to see her, speak up. If you don’t share your brother’s faith and you need to hear a eulogy that is all about his life or see pictures that bring back your time growing up together, speak up. The imprint of the funeral sticks with the surviving family. It is literally the last memory we carry of someone we loved.
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           www.hillsidefuneral.com
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      <pubDate>Sat, 26 Nov 2022 06:11:34 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/make-family-the-foundation-for-funeral-planning</guid>
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      <title>Who Will Take Care of My Funeral Plans?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/who-will-take-care-of-my-funeral-plans</link>
      <description>It is not uncommon for people to ask themselves, “Since I never had any children, who will take care of my funeral plans?” That is all the more reason to preplan your own funeral!</description>
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           Who Will Take Care of My Funeral Plans?
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           It is not uncommon for people to ask themselves, “Since I never had any children, who will take care of my funeral plans?” That is all the more reason to preplan your own funeral!
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           Each state has laws that say who will “own” your body when you die. The “owner” is responsible for making and paying for your funeral service and “final disposition”. Final disposition is simply what happens to your body in the end and those choices include burial, cremation or donation. Regardless of disposition, a funeral service with or without a religious component will take place before or after disposition. These are all choices the responsible person will make. 
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           If you are to be cremated, there is still the matter of what will be done with your cremated remains. They can be kept by a family member, scattered on private property, buried in a cemetery, or kept in a columbarium niche. Again, this is a choice the responsible person will need to make.
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           In most states the responsible person is your spouse. When there is no legal marriage then your parent will be responsible. If your parents are deceased, then your child will take the lead. When there are no children then your eldest sibling will be responsible. 
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           As you can see, this system only works if you and your family are all of like mind regarding the funeral and you are on the same page regarding faith. Since this is not always the case, you can break the legal chain and designate a person of your choice to carry out your wishes. 
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           It’s not at all difficult or even expensive. You just need to call the funeral home of your choice, ask for an appointment with the person who does the pre-planning. Be sure to tell that individual that you want to designate someone to carry out your wishes. He or she will need to get the proper paperwork for you to complete this task. 
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           This is also a perfect time to talk to the pre-planning person at the funeral home about your ideas regarding both your funeral service and your final disposition. A funeral professional can help you get everything written down so that your designated person will know just what to do. Since this person will also bear the financial burden for your funeral service and burial or cremation, you will want to talk to the advance funeral planner about eliminating that burden by prefunding your plan.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 26 Nov 2022 06:07:26 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/who-will-take-care-of-my-funeral-plans</guid>
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      <title>Get Your Family Involved in Funeral Planning</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/get-your-family-involved-in-funeral-planning</link>
      <description>When death is near or has just occurred, there are so many things to do and yet there is nothing you can do. You feel helpless. You can’t make the person well or bring them back.  But you know you will, very soon, need to make many decisions about the service, the final resting place, the music, food, flowers, donations, clothing and much more. Your mind is racing and oddly enough, at the same time, at a complete standstill. On one hand it feels like it is too soon to do anything. You’re just not ready. But at the same time, you feel the weight of all that is coming.</description>
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           Get Your Family Involved in Funeral Planning
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           When death is near or has just occurred, there are so many things to do and yet there is nothing you can do. You feel helpless. You can’t make the person well or bring them back. But you know you will, very soon, need to make many decisions about the service, the final resting place, the music, food, flowers, donations, clothing and much more. Your mind is racing and oddly enough, at the same time, at a complete standstill. On one hand it feels like it is too soon to do anything. You’re just not ready. But at the same time, you feel the weight of all that is coming.
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           This is stress. It is hard. If you can, reach out to your family and friends and let them help you. Have your son or daughter get the older grandchildren involved in pulling together pictures and music. They are really good at this stuff. Going through the pictures brings back happy memories and it’s one of the most therapeutic chores that comes with funeral preparation. Let them do something that will help them - they are dealing with this loss too.
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           If would you would like family and friends to donate to a charity, put someone in charge of looking into that. Have your daughter-in-law pull together a few clothing choices for your final selection. Send your son-in-law to the cemetery or have him get the cars washed. You may want to delegate the task of writing the eulogy and obituary. Give someone the job of gathering information for the funeral luncheon or brunch. 
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           Spread the work around. Let go, embrace help and give them something to do. You’ll feel better that things are getting done and they’ll feel better because they are involved and helping.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 26 Nov 2022 06:02:23 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/get-your-family-involved-in-funeral-planning</guid>
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      <title>Food and Funerals</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/food-and-funerals</link>
      <description>Why is food such a fundamental part of any funeral? 

Food provides comfort and strength. A gift of food shows that we care. It’s natural to connect food with the healing process of a funeral.</description>
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           Food and Funerals
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           Why is food such a fundamental part of any funeral?
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           Food provides comfort and strength. A gift of food shows that we care. It’s natural to connect food with the healing process of a funeral.
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           When should you give food? What’s helpful without being overwhelming? How do you accept food graciously without having to buy a second refrigerator?  
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           If you’re helping a friend who is dealing with the death of a loved one, a gift of food is appropriate before the funeral, at the conclusion of the funeral, and even weeks or months after the funeral. 
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           As you think about your gift, be aware that your friend may not even know they’re hungry. They likely won’t be able to tell you what they want or need.
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           Take the initiative and make it easy on them. Call with a simple offer that can be changed to meet the needs of those on the receiving end. You might say something like this:
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           “I’d like to bring your family dinner tomorrow evening. I thought I’d bring you a turkey roast with a broccoli casserole. Will that work for you? I’ll bring dinner by around 10:30 a.m. It’ll be all ready for you to warm in the oven or microwave.” 
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           When you’re on the receiving end, be gracious, but honest.
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           Your friends want to help you. If their offer won’t be helpful, give them an opportunity to make a different suggestion.
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           “Thank you for your offer, but we’re all set for the next few days. May I have a rain check?”
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           If you’re part of a close circle of friends, consider coordinating with others in your group to cover the family’s food needs on different days and with a variety of dishes.
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           Consider breakfast food. A basket with granola, muffins, or a breakfast casserole may be a nice change.  
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           Sheet pan dinners, where the entire meal is cooked on one pan in the oven, are easy for both parties. You can find lots of recipes online.
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           If you don’t cook, consider giving a gift card for a local restaurant that offers take out. 
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           Whatever you do, don’t forget your friend after the funeral is over. Most people find sitting alone at the dinner table one of the bigger challenges of their bereavement.
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           A loaf of your famous zucchini bread will be greatly appreciated and it’ll be even better if you can share it together over a cup of tea.
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      <pubDate>Sat, 26 Nov 2022 05:41:39 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/food-and-funerals</guid>
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      <title>How to Dress for a Funeral</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-to-dress-for-a-funeral</link>
      <description>First, understand that what you wear to the funeral is much less important than actually going to the funeral or gathering.  Don’t underestimate the value of your presence.  

Your kind words, shared stories, or even just a hug will mean a great deal to friends and family when there has been a death. Don’t let not having a pair of dress shoes keep you from offering your support.</description>
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           How to Dress for a Funeral
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           First, understand that what you wear to the funeral is much less important than actually going to the funeral or gathering. Don’t underestimate the value of your presence. 
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           Your kind words, shared stories, or even just a hug will mean a great deal to friends and family when there has been a death. Don’t let not having a pair of dress shoes keep you from offering your support.
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           That being said, what you wear depends on several different factors. The first thing to consider is who died.
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           If your 80-year-old grandfather passed, the funeral is likely to be more traditional. His older friends will attend, so you will want to be more conservative.
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           A pair of slacks and a collared shirt for men and boys will do nicely. If you own a sport coat, by all means wear it. A tie with or without the jacket would be a nice, but not a required, addition. 
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           For the ladies and girls, dress slacks and a nice sweater or blouse will serve the purpose. A dress or skirt would also be lovely. Do pay attention to necklines and length of the skirt. 
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           When the funeral is for a younger person or will not be faith based, it may be more informal.
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           A celebration of life is typically more relaxed and may even have a theme that the family will ask attendees to support. So if you’re asked to wear golf attire to the funeral of an avid golfer, don’t be surprised. 
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           Like the dress code for most events today, what we wear to a funeral has relaxed. Black is no longer required, but neat, clean, and subdued are always in good taste.
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           A funeral is not a place to stand out or be the center of attention. As you survey your wardrobe, think in terms of what you would wear to an important job interview or something you would want to wear to apply in person for a bank loan. 
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    &lt;a href="https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/" target="_blank"&gt;&#xD;
      
           www.hillsidefuneral.com
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&lt;/div&gt;</content:encoded>
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      <pubDate>Sat, 26 Nov 2022 04:34:02 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-to-dress-for-a-funeral</guid>
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      <title>How to Say the Right Thing at a Funeral</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-to-say-the-right-thing-at-a-funeral</link>
      <description>First, take a deep breath and relax. We all worry that we’ll say the wrong thing. 

Second, know that you don’t have to be eloquent. While we wish it were so, you can’t make everything all better with a few words. 

Here are a few simple ideas to keep in mind to be sure you say the right thing when attending a funeral.</description>
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           How to Say the Right Thing at a Funeral
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           First, take a deep breath and relax. We all worry that we’ll say the wrong thing.
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           Second, know that you don’t have to be eloquent. While we wish it were so, you can’t make everything all better with a few words.
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           Here are a few simple ideas to keep in mind to be sure you say the right thing when attending a funeral.
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           Don’t underestimate the power of your presence.
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           It’s important. Just being there says more than you can know.
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           Keep your words simple.
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           “I’m sorry for your loss” may be all that is needed.
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           Share your story.
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           If you have a brief anecdote about how you interacted with the deceased, share it. Knowing how her sister lit up her workplace may just be the most comforting thing a mourner can hear. 
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           Use the deceased person’s name.
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           “Mary always made me laugh.” “John had the longest drive, too bad it wasn’t always straight.” “We always knew when Big Bad Byron was in the plant, everyone was on their toes.” “Nobody made better chocolate chip cookies than your mother.”
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           Avoid using common platitudes.
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           Resist the temptation to tell the bereaved how they must feel -- “grateful that he is in a better place,” “relieved that his suffering is over,” “grateful for a long life,” etc.
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           We don’t know how that wife, husband, mother, son, or daughter actually feels. Just say you’re sorry for their loss.
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           Let them tell you how they feel and accept it with a nod or hug.
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           Don’t forget about listening. 
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           Listen to understand, not just to hear. Listen to show you care, not to judge. Listen with love, even when you’ve heard the story before.
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    &lt;a href="https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/" target="_blank"&gt;&#xD;
      
           www.hillsidefuneral.com
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&lt;/div&gt;</content:encoded>
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      <pubDate>Sat, 26 Nov 2022 04:27:28 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/how-to-say-the-right-thing-at-a-funeral</guid>
      <g-custom:tags type="string" />
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    <item>
      <title>What to Expect at a Funeral</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-to-expect-at-a-funeral</link>
      <description>We’ve all been there. Going to a funeral can be a little daunting, especially if it’s your first or if it’s been awhile since you attended one. Let’s talk a little bit about some of the terms you will hear and what you can expect in general.</description>
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           What to Expect at a Funeral
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           We’ve all been there. Going to a funeral can be a little daunting, especially if it’s your first or if it’s been awhile since you attended one. Let’s talk a little bit about some of the terms you will hear and what you can expect in general.
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           There’s a great deal of variety in funeral service today. The funeral home works with the surviving family to help them choose service options that reflect their lifestyle and belief system. The spouse, parents, or children of the deceased determine the content of the service.
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           The service typically includes:
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           1.   A gathering or visitation
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           2.   A religious ceremony
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           3.   Burial or placement in a final resting location (committal)
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           4.   A luncheon, brunch, or wake
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           The gathering may be held the evening before the service or the same day as the service.
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           The religious part of the service may be held in the funeral home chapel or in the family’s place of worship.
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           At the conclusion of the service, a procession will usually travel to the graveside where the casketed body will be buried. Cremated remains may be buried, placed in a niche, presented to a family member for keeping, or scattered.
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           The committal service is often followed by a meal at the church, the funeral home’s celebration center, the family home, or a restaurant.
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           If you are attending a gathering or visitation that takes place before the service, the body may or may not be present. When the body is present in an open casket, attendees will usually approach the casket briefly and silently say a few words of farewell or prayer.
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           The family may choose to receive their guests informally and casually engage in conversation as they circulate among those attending or they may choose to receive guests in a more formal receiving line. 
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           If you are attending a memorial service, the body will not be present. A memorial service may take place weeks or even months after the passing and may or may not include the presence of cremated remains.
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           The family may choose to have a memorial service for a variety of reasons. Some religions require that the body be buried immediately, necessitating service after burial. Some families just need more time to come together.
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           How we celebrate a life is often less formal today.
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           The service may include pictures and music that reflect the lifetime of the deceased. Work or interests of the deceased are often reflected in objects placed in the room or favors shared with attendees.
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           Attendees may participate by sharing memories of the deceased. A family member or celebrant may also tell the life story in the form of a eulogy.
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           Funerals are an important part of the grief journey that all families must travel when they lose a family member.
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           We attend to support and help the family members transition their thoughts from the cause of death to the life’s legacy. This is so they can begin their long healing process.
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           Your attendance is appreciated and important.
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    &lt;a href="/"&gt;&#xD;
      
           www.hillsidefuneral.com
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&lt;/div&gt;</content:encoded>
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      <pubDate>Sat, 26 Nov 2022 04:22:12 GMT</pubDate>
      <guid>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-to-expect-at-a-funeral</guid>
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    <item>
      <title>What Do Funeral Directors Do?</title>
      <link>https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/what-do-funeral-directors-do</link>
      <description>It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?

Today, there was a funeral. People cried. Tissues were crumpled and left on the tables.  Flower petals fell to the floor. Now, the cleaning staff is making things tidy for the family who will be here tomorrow.</description>
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           What Do Funeral Directors Do?
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           It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?
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           Today, there was a funeral. People cried. Tissues were crumpled and left on the tables. Flower petals fell to the floor. Now, the cleaning staff is making things tidy for the family who will be here tomorrow.
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           It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?
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           Someone in our town died away from home, the funeral director is traveling many miles to bring him home and into the funeral home’s care. The light is on in anticipation of his safe return.
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           It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?
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           Hospice called. The teacher who taught the funeral director -- and you -- in the third grade isn’t expected to make it through the night. He’s catching up on paperwork while he keeps vigil. Soon he’ll be called to the home and it will be his turn to take care of the teacher.
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           It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?
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           There are computer problems. The video tribute file a family sent won’t work. We’re staying late to make it right for their service.
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    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           It was a busy day today and we still need to notify Social Security and the Veteran’s Administration of Mr. Smith’s death.
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           There’s been a terrible accident. We’re doing our best to make a loved one presentable so that they can say goodbye with dignity.
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           The obituary the Jones’s gave us for their father is full of misspellings. We need to correct them and get it to the paper.
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           We’re reviewing all of the details for tomorrow’s service. When will the celebrant arrive? Do we have drivers for the cars? Who will be the pallbearers?
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           We’re checking tomorrow’s weather in case we need the umbrellas.
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           It’s late, why is the light on at the funeral home?
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           The light is on because your neighbor, the funeral director, is pacing the floor. He can’t sleep. Tomorrow, he will oversee the service for his daughter’s classmate.
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;span&gt;&#xD;
      
           Sometimes death is just too close, even for him.
          &#xD;
    &lt;/span&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;br/&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;p&gt;&#xD;
    &lt;a href="https://www.hillsidefuneral.com/" target="_blank"&gt;&#xD;
      
           www.hillsidefuneral.com
          &#xD;
    &lt;/a&gt;&#xD;
  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;/div&gt;</content:encoded>
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      <pubDate>Fri, 18 Nov 2022 23:13:58 GMT</pubDate>
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